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August 19, 2003
al Queada Claim
I know this is yesterday's news, the al-Queda claiming they took down the powergrid....but I was a bit busy with work yesterday so I'm just now getting to it.
"A communiqué attributed to Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for the power blackout that happened in the U.S. last Thursday, saying that the brigades of Abu Fahes Al Masri had hit two main power plants supplying the East of the U.S., as well as major industrial cities in the U.S. and Canada, 'its ally in the war against Islam (New York and Toronto) and their neighbors.'
Did you now? And how did you do it?
The Brigades say that they cannot reveal how they did it, because they will probably have to use the same method again soon.
Uh....yeah. Riiiiiight. The old "Secret Takedown" method. Gotcha.
The communiqué read: 'let the criminal Bush and his gang know that the punishment is the result of the action, the soldiers of God cut the power on these cities, they darkened the lives of the Americans as these criminals blackened the lives of the Muslim people in Iraq, Afghanistan and Palestine.
You've been reading this again, haven't you?
The Americans lived a black day they will never forget. They lived a day of terror and fear… a state of chaos and confusion where looting and pillaging rampaged the cities, just like the capital of the caliphate Baghdad, and Afghanistan and Palestine were. Let the American people take a sip from the same glass.'
"Terror and fear"? More like party at Times Square for the most part wasn't it? "Looting and pillaging"? Dude, that was in Canada, not the US....don't feel too bad, I'm not very good at geography either. "Sip from the same glass"? Eeeewwww! That's like so totally unsanitary.
"The authors of the communiqué said that the strikes aimed at 'hitting the major pillar of the U.S. economy (the Stock Exchange)… [and] the UN, which is opposed to Islam, and is based in New York. It is a message to all the investors that the U.S. is no longer a safe country for their money, knowing that the U.S. economy greatly relies on the trust of the investor…'
Not exactly.....the market closed at a 14 month high yesterday.
"The communiqué mentioned that some economists said the blackout in the U.S. and Canada would cost the U.S. Treasury no less than ten billion U.S. dollars and in order to 'break the hearts of U.S. officials, just know that the cost paid by the Moujahideen to sabotage the power plants was a mere seven thousand dollars. Die of sorrow!'
Now that was a helluva expensive squirrel, wasn't it? Die of shame!
"The communiqué ended with: 'we tell the Muslims that this is not the awaited strike, but it is called the war of skirmishes (to drain the enemy), and that the American snakes are enormous and need to be consumed and weakened to be destroyed.
Translation: we're getting our asses kicked.
We tell the people of Afghanistan and Kashmir that the gift of Sheikh Osama bin Laden is on its way to the White House; then the gift of Al Aqsa, and do we know what is the gift of Al Aqsa, where and when? The answer is what you are seeing!'
Oh, you bought a whole herd of squirrels, I get it. They're already in place all over the White House lawn, just waiting for the signal from their leader.
You did know that he's really a double agent, didn't you?
*ahem*
Posted by Rita at August 19, 2003 07:07 AM
Comments
But, but...how can it have been Al-Qaeda when it was the UFO people who have come to steal our power because their own planet has used up its resources?
Or George Bush like they're saying over at Indymedia.com? (Or as we like to call it www.barkingmoonbat.com)
D
Posted by: David Strain at August 19, 2003 07:36 AM
My money's still on the squirrel.
How funny....there really is a barkingmoonbat.com.
Posted by: Rita at August 19, 2003 07:43 AM
--- 'hitting the major pillar of the U.S. economy (the Stock Exchange)… [and] the UN----
Of course, both of THOSE buildings have generators.
Posted by: Tony Rosen at August 19, 2003 02:29 PM
Yeah, Tony, I get the impression they don't have a real good grasp of technology. This also said something about we had all these nuclear engineers and space guys but they couldn't keep the electricity on. Uh, yeah, because they're not electrical engineers. They probably do good to find the light switch.
Posted by: Rita at August 19, 2003 03:41 PM
You forget - Allah has manuals for everything. That crash on 35W yesterday? All Allah. Over capacity? All Allah.
It's about time the mushroom eating contingent looked around and realised that claiming responsibility for misfortunes only serves to focus the resolve. They may be mad, but I'm furious.
Posted by: Andy at August 19, 2003 06:41 PM
Me too Andy, and I'm armed.
Posted by: Rita at August 20, 2003 06:20 AM