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March 23, 2004

Simple Rules

I generally don't blog about work, but this is something that has been bugging me. There are certain customers that I dread seeing in my line.....especially the ones who seem to think they're budding skyscraper architects. You know who you are. You're the customer who has a compulsion to see how high you can stack your purchases on my checkout belt. I've got a news flash for you, bucky. No one admires your 'mad skillz' but you, you clueless moron.

I understand that you think I'm a drooling idiot mindlessly working at a low-paying job, but in fact the physics & spatial geometry mental calculations that I make in the split second when I pick up an item, scan it and bag it would fill reams of paper. But I think I can summarize them all in one simple sentence that even you can understand.

This ain't freaking Jenga.

You will, I'm sure, be surprised to learn that a good checker follows some basic rules while bagging your purchases. One, heavy stuff goes on the bottom, light stuff on the top. Two, cold things go together. Three, Non-food items and food items are usually not placed in the same bag.

So when you build your towering stairway to heaven, everyone gets pissed. I get pissed because I have to go on a treasure hunt to properly sort things for bagging, which slows me down to a crawl. You get pissed because it takes me so long to check your stuff. The people in line behind you get pissed for the same reason. I'll bet they would cheer if I ever give in to my overwhelming desire to grab you by the back of the neck and pound your face into your handiwork while screaming "Do you not understand elementary physics, you freaking idiot?"

And for those of you who understand & apply these rules by pre-sorting your purchases so you get checked out quickly and smoothly....I love you.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

Posted by Rita at March 23, 2004 08:14 AM

Comments

A tad 'tetchy this morning, are we? Isn't that special? Oh, and by the way, #4 soaps are bagged separately.......not say with the fresh bread?

Posted by: Bill at March 23, 2004 10:37 AM

I am not a morning person. Just ask your brother.

Posted by: Rita at March 23, 2004 01:08 PM

In Jersey (except for fancy supermarkets like King's) people generally bag their own groceries. If one chooses not to do that, the checker will bag the stuff, but I, like lots of other do the bagging, just to get the hell out of there.

Posted by: Jim - Parkway Rest Stop at March 23, 2004 11:43 PM

I need to find a good Checker! I always put my cold stuff together and it is always scattered helter-skelter through the bags. I'm extremely lucky if I get two cold items in the same bag!

Then I get a loaf of bread bagged with a bottle of soda - so of course the bread is smooshed. Whenever I get groceries, I end up re-sacking everything once I get to my truck.

I pre-sort the stuff when I put it on the conveyor, and the checkers always hunt tor the most inappropriate things to go together. Apparently you need to move up here and teach the morons how to do it right!

Posted by: bogie at March 24, 2004 06:32 AM