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August 31, 2004
Morning Luxury
One of my favorite morning luxuries during the work week is being awakened by the alarm clock....like this morning. Sound crazy? Not so much when you think of how I'm usually awakened.
The dogs, my organic all-natural alarm clocks.
Sometime, in the wee hours of the morning between 4 and 5:30 a.m., the dogs decide that I must wake up or we will all die a horrible death. Or that since they're awake, I need to spring out of bed and enjoy the sunrise with them as they sniff around the yard. At any rate, at some point before sunrise, they begin their two-pronged attack.
Sassy starts by seeing if I'm close enough to the edge of the bed to poke with her nose. If not, she begins huffing like some pervert making an obscene phone call. While lamb & rice dog food is wonderful for dogs with 'sensitive' digestions, it also reeks and produces the dreaded.....BAD BREATH IN DOGS. With each huff, clouds of noxious odor waft over me as I try to remain asleep without barfing.
Sollie, who is too short to reach anything but the bed railing, starts desperately clawing & digging on said railing. By desperately I mean as if I were entombed alive in concrete and he is the only one who can save me by digging me out. And he whines in short bursts....a pitiful cry that sounds as if he is dying, alone and unloved in a cold rain.
But hey, the fun doesn't end there!
Once I start to wake up, it's time to celebrate! Mommy's alive! She's moving! They party around my feet like Lazarus' dogs. Sassy repeatedly bounces into me like a 75 lb. Tigger on crack. Sollie contents himself with alternating between running across & between my feet. Sometimes, using a warp in the time/space continuum, he does both at once. I, on the other hand, am getting jostled around between the bed and the closet door like I'm inside the world's largest pinball machine. All this while I'm groggily trying to put on my robe and slippers.
The fun continues as I shuffle sleepily down the hallway to the front door to take them out. Sassy dashes to the door and back to tackle me; Sollie sees how many times he can trip me....both frantically trying to convince me that OMGWEAREGOINGTODIEIFWEDON'TGETOUTSIDEANDPEERIGHTNOW! I am half-awake by this time, and attempting to leash the two whirling dervishes and get them out the door before they drive me insane.
So as you see, the rare morning that starts with just the alarm clock is a good morning. It means I get to wake them up.
Heh.
Payback time.
Posted by Rita at August 31, 2004 08:58 AM
Comments
Reminds me of the leash concept from Waiting for Godot.
Posted by: kenneth at August 31, 2004 12:26 PM
The bio-clock morning routine sounds pretty annoying. What's more annoying, though, is when they get older, stop doing it, and start peeing inside...
Count your blessings :)
Posted by: Michael Morgan at August 31, 2004 03:30 PM
I'm almost ashamed to admit it Kenneth, but I've never read that.
Michael, we survived something similar during the puppy stage...though we did wear out a carpet shampooer. It still wasn't as bad as the cat, who is old & often barfs after she eats. I know she can't help it, but that doesn't make it any less gross.
Posted by: rita at August 31, 2004 04:23 PM
I usually have alarm clock mornings. The only problem is that the dogs usually need out at 1AM (the other night it was 11PM then 1:30). It doesn't matter that they were just out at 9, one of them just has to get out that door sometime before 2.
Fortunately, the door to the yard is about 10 steps away, so I don't have to bother with stairs or robes or anything. Also, since they are going into a fenced yard, I can go back to bed and doze off until one of them decides that they have to get back in (usually about 15 minutes later).
Posted by: bogie at September 2, 2004 04:14 AM