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October 01, 2004

Here Come the Health Police

First it was cigarettes, then fattening food. Now caffeine is headed for the Health Police hit list.

A single cup of coffee a day can produce "caffeine addiction," according to a study from Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions, which has declared caffeine the most "behaviorally active drug" on the planet....Based on his findings, Dr. Griffiths anticipates that caffeine withdrawal could be included in the next edition of the national Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, compiled by the American Psychiatric Association and considered the veritable bible of such things among medical professionals.

So what you say? Guess what's coming next.

In March, Albany-based Soy Coffee began promoting "National Caffeine Awareness Month" to raise the American consciousness about "detection and prevention of caffeine addiction in the U.S."

In a statement last year, the coffee substitute manufacturer noted that "caffeine can hurt a person's overall health and well-being," declaring that "caffeine is not only considered habit forming, but also addicting."

Coffee just took the first steps towards being regulated and restricted. Because after all, you people can't be trusted to make your own decisions.

Just you wait and see.

Posted by Rita at October 1, 2004 06:05 AM

Comments

Look for a "study" to come out that trumpets the "cost" of caffeine addiction to society, in terms of lost production, etc.

I can see it already. Millions of people taking 10 minutes a day during work for "coffee breaks." That adds up to billions and billions, as Carl Sagan might say. It practically writes itself.

Posted by: Craig at October 1, 2004 07:14 AM

Can you imagine millions of people in simultaneous caffeine withdrawal?

*shudder*

Posted by: rita at October 1, 2004 07:58 AM

Wait for caffeine to be banned in bars next.

And all those passive caffeine consumption lawsuits will cost the medical insurance companies billions and thereby give them a great excuse to raise premiums.

Posted by: Andy at October 1, 2004 08:45 AM

Starbucks = new speakeasies. I can see it now.

Posted by: rita at October 1, 2004 09:08 AM

Thank goodness I drink Coke instead of coffee.

Oh, wait....

Posted by: Keith at October 1, 2004 11:33 AM

They'll have to wrest my mug out of my hand over my dead body.

Posted by: Kalamity at October 1, 2004 02:35 PM

psst... buddy... wanna buy a cup-o-joe?... I can get you some columbian from a guy I know.

Posted by: Mike S at October 2, 2004 04:17 AM