Res Ipsa Loquitur

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like
you.
Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the
breeze.
Softer than ole Blue's and without all them
fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yore as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the
pan.
Yore as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the
can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am
proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore
arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore
charms.

Still, them fellers at work, they all want to
know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape, yore there fer
yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you
can.

Yore as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in
my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel
shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of
dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded
gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best
vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps
hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold
drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's
Day;
They git it at Walmart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive,"
I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market
booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and
couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yore too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!