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April 21, 2005
Spring Theme
Last year it was sharks. This year, it's the attack of the killer wild turkeys. (Link via Fark) Latest victims: the town of Cranford, N.J.
In one instance, a letter carrier killed a bird with a stick after a group of the aggressive gobblers surrounded his truck and wouldn't let him out.
.....
Officials say adult wild turkeys can grow as tall as four feet and can fly as fast as 55 miles per hour.
You know, some #4 shot will calm them right down.
Judiciously applied, of course.
Posted by Rita at April 21, 2005 07:52 PM
Comments
Shoot, if they're tha big and they come up close, just carry a pistol. That will also give them an attitude adjustment and make their whole outlook brand new (thanks Hank).
Posted by: Bob at April 22, 2005 09:03 AM
I dunno how big they get in Joisey, but here 3-4 ft. is common. I had no idea they could fly that fast though. Just imagine the wing power it would take to fly a 20+ lb. turkey that fast.
Hey, you're a physicist. Why don't you calculate that in your free time? Ft/lbs of force needed to propel a 25 lb. turkey @ 55 mph....unladened of course.
Posted by: rita at April 22, 2005 09:12 AM
Discharging a firearm in the town of Cranford (I'm familiar with the place) would land one in such shit that you'd be better off having gotten you ass kicked by the turkey.
That's life in a Blue State.
Posted by: Jim - Parkway Rest Stop at April 22, 2005 09:56 AM
May I suggest then a flyswatter? You might laugh, but smack 'em hard on the head a few times with a flyswatter & they'll leave you alone. I should know, I've done it often enough.
We had one once that was really imprinted on my dad. All you had to do was let him see that you were carrying a flyswatter, and he'd run & jump up into my dad's lap and hide his head under my dad's arm. Cracked me up every time.
Not that I'd ever get the flyswatter just to see that big ol' turkey do that. *ahem*
Heh. The old devil deserved it. (The turkey, not my dad.) He liked to sneak up behind me & peck the backs of my legs. Leave a blood blister it would...and freaking hurt.
Posted by: rita at April 22, 2005 10:09 AM