Res Ipsa Loquitur

Today

Today

Yay! I was notified today that my job application successfully made it through the first rounds of cuts in the process. Welcome news, especially after the day I've had. Antibiotics are making me cranky, I felt like crap but managed to work until lunch, tried to take a nap because I haven't been sleeping much but my daughter came over & woke me up....also I tripped on the way to the mailbox & it feels like I've broken a toe.

I want some pity, dammit!

UPDATE: *silence*

Gee thanks guys.

CYA

CYA

Germany convicts 2 of breaking the Iraq arms export ban.

A German court has convicted two businessmen of breaking arms export laws by helping Iraq to acquire drills that can be used to bore a "supergun" capable of firing nuclear, biological or chemical shells.

I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked to discover there's been illegal arms trading going on in Germany.

BTW, how does one say "fall guy" in German?

It's Friday

It's Friday

Time for the Friday Five:

1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why?

Underdog...speed of lightning, roar of thunder, fighting all who plot and plunder. I loved campy even as a child. I hated Sweet Polly Purebred. She was such a whiny wimp.

2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got?

A new mommy. Next question.

3. What's the furthest from home you've been?

Florence, Italy. Summer of '93, where I fell in love with Michelangelo's David and discovered the one thing that is better than sex...authentic chocolate gelati.

4. What's one thing you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet?

Tough question. Hmmm, I guess skiing...which I never will because now my knees are shot.

5. What are your plans for the weekend?

The same thing they are every weekend, trying to take over the....uh, nothing in particular.

Lileks Addict

Lileks Addict

Hi, my name is Rita, and I'm a....I'm a...Lileks addict. Holidays & weekends are hell, my morning is somehow incomplete without my Lileks fix. I read the Bleat Mon-Fri, check the Backfence most mornings (I can never remember the posting schedule on that one), and check Newhouse News every day for new articles.

Didn't know about the Newhouse articles? In many ways, they're the best. Today's discusses the irrelevance of the U.N.

Imagine you are running in fear from Iraqi thugs, and you see a U.N. car, and a U.S. convoy. To which would you run?

Pretty much says it all in two little sentences. God, he's good.

Survey Says...

Survey Says...

The average blogger age is 34.1612903225806451612903225806452 years. Frank says so.

Once again, I'm way above average. It's nothing really, just a talent I have.

Personality Quiz

Personality Quiz

My personality is rated 25.What is yours?

"Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken."

"long time to get over it"? No, no, I never get over it.

(Link via Da Goddess, who always finds the bestest quizzes.)

Woo-Hoo!

Woo-Hoo!

My ENT doc called just as I was leaving for court. Now you're probably thinking, man, that's not a good sign when your doctor calls right after looking at your CAT scan even though you had an appointment to see him Monday to get the results. You would be correct. My choices are: try another round of multiple antibiotics, even though none of the ones I've taken over the last 13 months have worked and if they don't, have a more extensive surgery (a Caldwell-Luc procedure) that should correct the problem, but might make it worse. Or go ahead and have the surgery now. My call. I have the weekend to decide. I'm thinking screw the antibiotics, cut my face open like a watermelon. I gots to have me some relief.

Even better news is that I'm now taking another round of antibiotics in the interim, as my face now hurts so badly at times that it wakes me up at night. I get to be semi-psychotic again for the next 10 days! Woo-hoo!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

TTFN

TTFN

Time to don my pantyhose armor and sally forth to juvenile court. That prospect would be much more exciting if I didn't feel like death warmed over. Standing on a street corner. Eating a cracker.

Don't ask. It's a family joke that's never made any sense. We just like the absurdity of it.

Style

Style

It's no secret I'm a big fan of Donald Rumsfeld...one of the last of the old style boys. Blunt and to the point. I've liked him since the first press conference I saw, in which he interrupted a press member to explain that no, "the White House," being an inanimate object, did not say anything. People speak, houses don't. I love a man who believes the precise use of words matter. It seems however, that not everyone admires his style....he's hurt their wittle feewings.

"Please pull together a list of all of those documents we talked about yesterday that the Joint Staff, the chairman and the vice chairman seemed to think they have to put out on vision, strategies and all that stuff," Mr. Rumsfeld wrote in the Jan. 3 memo. "We ought to get our arms around them, compare them with what we put out overall and get a single [Department of Defense] document rather than a Joint Staff document. It is just a lot of people spinning their wheels doing things we probably have to edit and improve."

So what's the problem?

The Times quoted two Pentagon employees as saying the memo revealed the secretary's true feelings about their work.

"It's an indication of what he really thinks of us and the work we do and the quality of it," said one employee, who asked not to be identified.

Well, boo-hoo, let's all cry a river for the poor mistreated Pentagon employees. Granted while it's not very pleasant to be told what you've written is worthless drivel & needs to be re-done, it's even less pleasant to receive badly written documents...you know, the ones that you have to re-read 4 or 5 times to determine what, if anything, the person is trying to say.

Mr. Rumsfeld said, "It's no fun for somebody to have their work sent back four or five times, six times, seven times, and if that disturbs people, and their sensitivities are such that it bothers them, I'm sorry. But that's life, because this stuff we're doing is important. We're going to get it done well. We're going to get it done right."

Doing things until they're right. What a concept! Hint: if you do something right the first time, you don't have to do it over. It's call "constructive criticism" people...it's not personal. There's this thing called "being professional" which means that you understand the separation between doing your job and your precious little ego. It's how we lawyers will fight each other to the death in the courtroom, and then go have lunch together.

"We have done so much in the last two years," Mr. Rumsfeld said. "And it doesn't happen by standing around with your finger in your ear hoping everyone thinks that that's nice."

What's wrong with that?

Just Because

Just Because

You know, when you're both tired & cranky really isn't a good time to discuss a somewhat complicated spreadsheet and how it should be modified. Trust me on that one. So we went & had BBQ and batter dipped fries instead. Penguin Ed's, up on the "S" curves...great BBQ and blues. *big truckdriver belch* Good and good for you.

Loose Lips

Loose Lips

Just heard on NBC Nightly News that we have Special Ops teams & CIA operatives working in northern Iraq. Well, ba-duh! Why don't you just tell the whole world? Oh wait you just did.

Photoshop Fun

Photoshop Fun

Rodger's been playing with Photoshop. "Camp Following Hollywood Whores". I love it!

And Steve's made an "Axis of Wheezers".

Go look.

Weird

Weird

I just had a county sheriff's deputy at my door...scared the crap out of me because my first thoughts were something bad had happened to my daughter or my husband. He was trying to find another Rita with the same last name, who owned or rented property at an address I'd never heard of, for one of the local power companies. Took a bit of explaning that no, that wasn't my middle initial, no, that's not my husband's name, and no, I've never lived at that address.

He was very nice & polite, but I noticed he was keeping a close eye on Sassy, our Akita. Smart man.

SOTU Address

SOTU Address

I don't have much to add that hasn't been said better elsewhere. We're going to war with Iraq, the only question remaining is when? I'm revising my early prediction of right after the Superbowl to right after Valentine's Day, based on these factors:

1. Islamic haj starts in a couple of days & ends mid-February. Starting the war before that ends would strengthen the loonies position that we're trying to eliminate all Muslims.

2. Estimated 2-3 weeks more to get all troops & equipment in place. Enough there now for defensive actions, need a few more for offensive.

3. UN inspectors are to give another report around February 14th. The trick will be to give them enough info to find their ass with both hands without tipping our hand.

The SOTU did seem to upset Sollie, our pug, terribly. He came & sat beside me during the speech, very distraught...shredded 2 chew toys during the speech. He would stop from time to time, stare all bug-eyed & shocked at the TV, and then look at me as if to say "Can you believe that?" I think the shot of Pelosi rolling her eyes got that started.

Working

Working

Since Blogger wouldn't let me post anything first thing this morning, I've been actually working. It's been delightful, reconstructing the timing & amount of mortgage payments from an incomplete record dating back to 1991, creating an amortization schedule to fit the terms of the mortgage, and determining the current pay-off of the loan. I figure I'll finish it sometime next year if I drop everything else & do nothing but crunch numbers 24/7/365.

People who don't know what they're doing but want to "save money" and do it themselves, then eventually dump the whole mess in the lap of someone else to fix should be shot. With hot-loaded horse pistols at 10 paces.

He's Back!

He's Back!

Yay! Rodger's back. I can sleep easy tonight.

Bi-State Competition

Bi-State Competition

I've been in a meeting in beautiful downtown Jay, Oklahoma, most of the afternoon. The 1 hr. 15 min. drive each way was made even more delightful by the fact that apparently today was the Arkansas/Oklahoma chicken litter spreading competition day. It was close, but I think Arkansas won by a nose.

(Yes I do know that was a bad joke, but what do you expect...I've been smelling chicken litter for the last 3 hours.)

Warbloggers

Warbloggers

IMAO is doing a survey to determine the average age of warbloggers. You can join by leaving your age & URL in his comments there. So far, he's found that the average age is about 36.31...but that was before I entered my age & Mike's, which should boost the average considerably. *ahem*

So go help him get a good representative sample, if you're not too old & feeble to click on the link.

Pee-Pee Legislation

Pee-Pee Legislation

Bigwig has brought to my attention that the Arkansas House of Representatives has passed a bill outlawing the sale of clean urine. I'll never get rich now, damnit! All kidding aside, this is a problem here because we have so many meth users. You wouldn't believe what people will do to try to pass a drug test.

The Art of Fisking

The Art of Fisking

Susanna shows us how it's done with her thorough Fisking of Janeane Garofalo. My favorite line, referring to Ms. Garofalo:

You might make more sense drunk.

Excellent.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Another of my favorites has apparently called it quits, despite my gentle urgings to stay. I even told him it would make me cry. (BTW, nice photo...looks just like me.)

Alas, poor Rodger, I knew him well Horatio.

*copious weeping and gnashing of teeth*

Lucky

Lucky

I'm reminded more often than I'd like of how lucky I am to work where I do and not in someplace like Chicago.

Officers searching a home for drugs and weapons found a 3-year-old boy chained by the neck to a bedpost, authorities said.

A 10-foot (3-meter) chain was wrapped three times around the boy's neck and held in place by a padlock when he was found Saturday in a South Side home.

This was a child welfare foster placement. In its infinite wisdom, child welfare had placed 6 "very troubled" children with a 69 year old woman. The foster mother had chained him to the bed for "stealing food," a very common behavior with abused/neglected kids. It gets worse. After finding this child chained to the bed, they only removed 5 of the 6 children from the foster home.

What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you so damned stupid that you think it's ok to leave a child in this home just because he or she is "older"? Or is it just too much trouble to find an emergency placement? Absolutely inexcusable. The whole damned bunch should be publicly horsewhipped or executed or something.

Buzz Word

Buzz Word

Some talking-head pundit just used "quagmire" referring to a war with Iraq. Since I can't drink, I'll have to have a piece of cheesecake upon hearing that buzz word.

Mmmm, chocolate cheesecake.

U.N. Report

U.N. Report

Hans Blix: "It is becoming very clear to us that Iraq is dicking us around but the inspections might continue."

Elbaradei: "We can't get enough information to determine whether Iraq is dicking us around so we want to let them jerk us around for a couple more months."

Negroponte: "Where's my Cluebat^TM?"

Iraqi ambassador: "We are cooperating...really...honest. *wink wink* Just ask the French. There's no need for any more inspections."

I agree. Let the wild rumpus begin.

Head Exam

Head Exam

7 a.m. this morning..."Hi, I'm Rita. I'm here to get my head examined using the latest Stealth technology." 30 minutes & much paperwork later, I'm happily dozing inside the CAT scan machine. The paperwork was a pain. Somehow in the move into the new facilities they managed to change my social security number and make me single. Cheapest & shortest divorce I ever had.

Just an Idea

Just an Idea

Don't leave your baby in a idling car unattended....not even for just a few minutes.

Morons.

Super Bowl Prediction

Super Bowl Prediction

Bucs by 10. Their uniforms are prettier.

UPDATE: Halftime, Bucs up by 17. Damn, maybe I should've looked for a bookie.

Saturday Shopping

Saturday Shopping

I had the brilliant idea to do our weekly shopping early this morning, since it was time to stock up on several things. And I wanted to miss the crowds shopping for the Super Bowl tomorrow. I say brilliant idea because apparently everyone within a 100 mile radius had the same idea. Before it was over, we had changed into our alter-egos, "Low Blood Sugar Satan" Rita and "Stop Blocking the Damn Aisle You Freaking Moron or I WILL Hit You With My Cart" Mike.

But after we finally made it back home, Mike fired up the grill and cooked a couple of porterhouse steaks we'd found on sale, some taties and a salad. I. Am. So. Full. And tired. And sleepy.

Naptime!

Dead Babies

Dead Babies

Thomas Sowell has a good editorial on family reunification services and rehabilitiation of abusive parents. I agree, it would be interesting to see a legitimate study of the effectiveness of these programs. As Mr. Sowell correctly points out, there are certain child abusers that no program can rehabilitate to the point that a child would be safe with them.

The problem is that, at least where I work, we are required by law to at least attempt reunification unless the abuse is "heinous and shocking," an ill-defined term. Whether or not abuse rises to this level is too often a judgment call. While I would agree that most any abuse of a child is heinous and shocking, that's not what the law says. However, the child to which he refers, that was admitted to a hospital when he was 12 days old with broken ribs and ankles, would certainly meet our criteria. While it may be satisfying to blame the social services system and its workers, Mr. Sowell might also remember that it was ultimately the juvenile judge who allowed the child to return home.

What the???

What the???

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Say it ain't so, Rummy....*sobbing*...... say it ain't so!

CAT Scan

CAT Scan

I'm to have another, more extensive CAT scan of my big ol' head first thing Monday morning. Woo-hoo! (I know, like this interests you. Then why are you still reading?) My doc wanted it in case he had to do another surgery, which is looking very likely, because he would probably be operating very close to my optic nerve and my carotid artery, and it would make him very nervous to do that without having a good CAT scan to use. I told him you know what, that makes me very nervous too.

*gulp* I'm not sure having a good CAT scan makes me much less nervous either.

I think I'll call it the "Red Ryder BB Gun" surgery.

Blogroll Update

Blogroll Update

I've made a few additions to the blogroll....Zander of course you all know by now. I found a couple more Arkies, The Wild Place and Southern Exposed....hooray! I grew up just a hoot 'n a holler from where Jennifer of The Wild Place lives. She's got some great photos of the area, you should go give 'em a look see.

And added Steve H of Little Tiny Lies, since he & I have been told we should form a stand-up act & tour the country. Lawyers doing a comedy routine, now there's an opportunity for a great act name.

What should we call it?

Sad News

Sad News

I am deeply saddened by today's news of the passing of a stellar member of our local legal community, Marsha McIvor. I didn't know her well, but respected & admired her greatly.

"She was a person of convictions," said [Arkansas Supreme Court Justice] Glaze of Little Rock. "She volunteered her time to help people. She took her time as a lawyer very seriously to improve people’s lives, and not for monetary gain.... She made all of our lives a little better in Arkansas."

A great loss indeed.

Zander's Poll

Zander's Poll

I'm happy to report Zander's war opinion poll is going well. If you haven't already voted, what are you waiting for? And if you haven't given him a mention at your own site, what's the matter with you?

After you vote, look around...lotsa interesting stuff there.

Briefs

Briefs

I've been working all afternoon on a brief objecting to what should have been titled "Application for Post-Judgment Interest" but was instead creatively titled "Motion to Reconsider Correctness of Journal Entry of Judgment and Motion for Order Nunc Pro Tunc." I suspect the creative title was because he missed the deadline for the application, what he should've filed, by several months. Unfortunately for him, Oklahoma statute clearly states that not specifically awarding interest in a judgment is ok, so there's not need to modify or correct the judgment as entered.

I wanted to write my brief as follows:

"It is Defendant' s position that Plaintiff's attorney is too stupid to live, and should be immediately shot on sight as he is wasting precious resources with every breath he takes."

Which I sorta did, phrased a bit more nicely...with statute and case citations in support.

Incoherent writing by attorneys really annoys me. This was so badly written that it took me over an hour to even figure out what his argument was...and the fact that he cited, with incomplete citations, superceded (replaced by new ones) statutes didn't help any. Freaking moron. No wonder attorneys have a bad rep.

Fossil Find

Fossil Find

University of Arkansas students have discovered a large 325 million year old fossil.

No, not Frank Broyles...we already knew about him.

A nautiloid, an almost 9 foot long cephalopod, making it the world's largest discovered so far.

Young whippersnappers, why I remember back in the day when I went to school, we had to paddle uphill both ways to school, battling sea monsters, typhoons...you kids got it too easy.

Go Buy Stuff

Go Buy Stuff

Bill Cimino has an extensive selection of delectable goodies for sale at CafePress....just in time for Valentine's Day.

Confuse your friends, confound your enemies...stock up on "Bloviating Inanities" t-shirts, hats, cups, mousepads, bumper stickers...there's even a "classic thong".

What more could you want? I mean, really.

Brrrr!

Brrrr!

It's a brisk 7 degrees here this morning, wind chill 7 below...Sassy, the insane Akita, is mad at me because I won't let her stay outside. I have a dr.'s appointment & errands to run this morning. My lips will probably freeze to my retainer.

I'm so ready for spring.

UPDATE: Dr. appointment delayed due to an ER call (his, not mine) so instead I went to the DMV & did the tag thing. Walked in, 4 clerks not serving anyone, no line, no one else waiting....I still had to take a freaking number & wait to be called. On the other hand, I got a very nice clerk, was able to get antique tags for my son's truck which never have to be renewed.....and renewed the tags on Mike's car even though they're not due until next month.

Going back to the doc's in a few minutes...brief exam & scheduling another CAT scan....those are fun. Ooooo, see the pretty lights! Almost as much fun as the drug cocktail I was given once for some dental surgery. I didn't go under, exactly, just watched a psychedelic movic play on the inside of my eyelids for a hour or so. It was very similar to the way I've heard acid trips described. They had problems waking me....I kept thinking, no leave me alone....I want to see the pretty colors. Then I spit out all the packing as soon as we left & sang Bob Dylan's "Rainy Day Women Numbers 12 & 35" all the way home. My son, my designated driver, was cracking up. I was very happy until it wore off.

Ritter's Dismissal

Ritter's Dismissal

Steve H has an excellent post explaining why Ritter's claim of dismissal means he's a liar not innocent of the charges.

I hear similar claims a lot...."I didn't molest anyone, just my lousy public defender talked me into taking the prosecutor's deal, which included prison time."

Riiii-iiight. And surprisingly these same people are back in court, charged with the same thing again. What a coincidence.

Hearing

Hearing

I've been stuck in a hearing for most of the day, haven't been home long. It ran way long than I expected...we won, now just have to wait to see if they'll appeal. Got to work with the new ADA, he's a nice guy and good attorney.

Now I'm soooooooo tired.

Aha!

Aha!

McDonalds lawsuit gets tossed by judge. (Link via Laurence)

The appropriately named Judge Sweet, properly understanding the requirement of causal connection, dismissed the suit.

"Where should the line be drawn between an individual's own responsibility to take care of herself and society's responsibility to ensure others shield her? The complaint fails to allege the McDonald's products consumed by the plaintiffs were dangerous in any way other than that which was open and obvious to a reasonable consumer," Sweet said in his ruling.

Absolutely correct, Judge.

Cheese & Beer

Cheese & Beer

Look who's new best friends:

France and Germany will announce today a revolutionary proposal for dual citizenship between the two powers that would allow their citizens to hold passports of both countries and vote in each other's elections.

Now there's a match made in....somewhere. They do have alot in common. Both are refusing to back a UN resolution for the war in Iraq.

And who is it again that sells tons of "stuff" to Iraq?

UPDATE: Just found, via the Professor, a very interesting post by Den Beste on what could happen if, post-war, we discovered this alliance had actively violated the sanctions against selling equipment & supplies to Iraq.

Aircraft Shot Down

Aircraft Shot Down

The AP is reporting Iraq has shot down another US Predator. Like the man said to the mule, "That's two."

School Project

School Project Help

Zander needs help with his school project on public support/opposition to the possible Iraq war. Intelligent kid that he is, he's set up a poll on his site, one-click voting enabled, to sample the views of those of us online. (You may have to scroll down, I couldn't get the poll to show up on his archived post)

Whether you're for or against or somewhere in between, GO VOTE. Help him get a good representative sample. And help spread the word via your own site by giving him a mention. C'mon, it'll only take a minute or two of your time.

Use your powers for the good...it's the right thing to do.

(Found via Da Goddess, a power for the good in her own right)

Howard Dean

Howard Dean

We're listening to a speech by Mr. Dean. (DSL is so cool!) We're not impressed....as a matter of fact, I think he's full of crap. (Link via the Professor)

--Everyone should have to use 10% methanol gas.

Not in my car. Blow me

--You should trust the Democrats with your money.

That's just too funny. In your dreams.

--Something about campaign financing so Ralph Nader couldn't steal the election from Al Gore, though it was really the Supreme Court that did that.

Put down the crack pipe.

--If we use ethanol & conserve gas, there will be peace in the Middle East & Israel and Palestine will live together in harmony.

All together now, it's all about the oooooooiiiiiiilllll!

Like I said, full of it.

Quizzes

Quizzes

The top 5 philosophers I'm most like, in order: Aquinas, Aristotle, Cynics, Bentham, and Mill.

My Iraqi war personality: borderline between realist/patriot hawk or capitalist stooge/warmonger...depending on your perspective. (Links via Siflay Hraka)

Yes, I'm very bored.

Human Shields

Human Shields

The human bullseyes shields are supposedly heading out to Iraq this weekend.

"The potential for white Western body parts flying around with the Iraqi ones should make them think again about this imperialist oil war," organizer Ken Nichols, a former U.S. marine in the 1991 Gulf War, told Reuters.

Funny, I didn't know white Western guys were so much more important and valuable than the Iraqis. Kinda culturally biased there, aren't you Ken?

Nichols' groups intend to drive through Europe and the Middle East en route to Iraq. The first will travel in a pair of double-decker buses, led by a car with a white peace flag on it.

Woo-hoo, that'll make an easy target. Lock & load, fellas, it'll be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Finished Research

Finished

Research done...even took time to apply for a job in an adjacent county. Keep your fingers crossed, I could be stealing babies AND getting paid on a weekly basis. The latter would be a nice change. This afternoon I have to go to the local DMV & get antique car tags for my son's '66 Chevy and renew the tags on Mike's car. I hate going there. Most of the workers are pretty nice, but there's this one heifer that is just lazy, dumb & hateful. I usually get stuck with her for some reason. Probably because I despise her so.

Karma isn't always pretty, you know.

Research

Research

Sorry for the lack of posting, but I'm researching instances when the attorney-client priviledge can be deemed to be waived for a hearing tomorrow...a sticky little problem. May end up not being an issue, but I like to make sure all my guns are well-oiled and loaded, so to speak.

I don't believe in taking prisoners. *blows smoke from the pistol barrel*

Supper's Over

Supper's Over

We had lamb chops, saffron rice & corn, a nice salad...even got adventurous & baked a chocolate cheesecake. I'm so full.

The dogs are staring at me...that means they want me to take them outside. Which means I have to get up & actually move. Why the hell don't we have a doggie door so they could let themselves out? Oh yeah, cuz our yard's not fenced & we live on a busy street.

*Sigh*

Speechless

Speechless

I've never seen anything quite like this. Bill, you are a crazy man....I think you've even outdone Laurence for truly tasteless comedy.

Not that it's not funny, just....Jeez!

Name That Font

Name That Font

Steve of Little Tiny Lies has a "Name That Font" contest that shouldn't be missed. Go on over & give it a try...winner gets a slightly damp cigar.

I'm kinda partial to "Berserkley Bold" myself, though Keith has submitted a great one too.

Survival Quiz

Survival Quiz

Take the wilderness survival quiz and see how well you could survive. (Link via Fark)

I made a barely respectable 70%. In my defense, I don't know nothin' about no deserts or no sharks...I live in NW Arkansas for goodness sakes. It's a right smart of a drive to either from here.

Vote for Me

Vote for Me

Michele's ready for voting on her favorite mixed movie contest. The entries are terrific, it's going to be hard to pick three favorites. I even have an entry:

Girls Gone Wild Wild West-ward Ho!
A triple! A documentary of the zany antics of J-Lo and Christina Aguilera as they make their first trip to Hollywood.

Just in case you wanted to vote for me or something, you know. (You can also still enter the contest through the rest of today.) The winners get their ideas made into comic strips by the master of tasteless comedy. I can't wait to see that.

Why are you still here? Go vote already.

Mad World

Mad World

The world has gone mad. So far this morning, I've seen this:

Libya gets to head a human rights commission. People are openly advocating the President's murder. A train has been bombed in India. An attempted hijacking of an Algerian plane. Britain has granted asylum to an ex-Taliban soldier who fled there after the fall of Kabul.

What the hell is wrong with you people?

Libya & Human Rights

Libya & Human Rights

Libya has been elected to chair the U.N.'s human rights committee. That's kinda like electing the fox to watch the chicken house, isn't it?

The Libyan candidate, diplomat and former journalist Mrs. Najat al-Hajjaji, won 33 votes in a secret ballot of the 53-country Commission, with 17 states abstaining and three voting no -- apparently including the United States.

No country-by-country breakdown was immediately available, but the abstentions were believed to include European countries and some from Latin America.

True democracy in action, isn't it great? This is why we're a representative republic...you might want to remember this the next time someone starts talking about doing away with the electoral college. Majority rule is often not a good thing.

Local Protestors

Local Protestors

Mike's posted photos of our local protestors on Saturday. There were two or three that we couldn't get a good shot of, including one sign that said "No sons for oil"...I wasn't aware that was an option, I wonder how much we could get for ours?

Mike's son said there was a "peace march" over the weekend too...he said he & some friends went & heckled them. That's our boy!

Protest the Protestors

Protest the Protestors

Scott Ott has a highly accurate interpretation of yesterday anti-war rallys.

Anti-anti-war demonstrators gathered in grocery stores, shopping malls and private homes to proclaim their disagreement with protestors marching in the streets of Washington D.C. and San Francisco.

I'm happy to report Mike & I joined in this protest of the protestors. We even bought a fresh box of kitty litter to combat the anti-war movement.

Winner!

Winner!

I'm so excited, I won a contest!

Tell the folks what you won, Rita. (Where is that voice coming from? Why doesn't anyone else hear it?)

I won a T-shirt, should it ever become available. Tres cool. And a free roll of Charmin, if I ever become afflicted with the dreaded "Juicy Ass". I don't see that ever happening, but it's nice to know I'm covered if it does.

If you're not already a regular reader of Bill Cimino, what's wrong with you? Go check it out.

Anti-War Protest

Anti-War Protest

Currently being broadcast on C-Span....we're watching...it's hilarious. Go check it out. They just announced there will shortly be a website dedicated to impeaching the Prez, about which Ramsey Clark just gave one of the most ridiculous speeches I've ever heard. Apparently not getting U.N. approval is now an impeachable offense.

Isn't he supposed to know better?

UPDATE: Ok, they're getting repetitive & boring..."No blood for oil"...over and over. No nekkid people either. I think it's time to go get groceries.

DC Weather Update

DC Weather Update

Currently, it's 18 degrees in DC, with an estimated wind chill of 6 degrees.

Woo-hoo! Bring on the nekkid protestors! Let's see how dedicated they are to their cause.

Asshole of the Week

Asshole of the Week

Our local Drug Task Force recently made a meth bust based on a great tip about an item exchanged at one of our local Wal-Marts.

Officers said Fuller urged his son to bring over the bicycle — a gift the child had received for Christmas — so they could go riding during the boy’s weekend visitation at his house on Daline Street. Fuller then exchanged the bike in order to purchase the ingredients needed to make meth, police said.

Now that's just pretty damn sorry isn't it? Can a person be any more lowlife scum than that? This same guy had a previous arrest for having a meth lab in his car, conveniently located around a baby in a car seat. He had been allowed to participate in Drug Court for that charge.

The police report states officers noticed a chemical smell at the house, were given consent to search and discovered an operational methamphetamine lab, and five adults and five children living in run-down conditions. The five children ranged in age from 15 to 2 years old. Officers said the children had not been fed that day, that roaches were seen throughout the house and chemicals were in every room of the home in close proximity to the children. All of the children had head lice, the police report states.

The children, of course, were removed immediately. This is a great illustration of the huge problems caused by meth...there is absolutely nothing a meth head won't do to feed his or her addiction. Drug use is NOT a victimless crime.

I have a great deal of respect for our criminal judge and the drug court judge....it's gonna suck to be this guy after they get done with him. As well it should.

Full Moon

Full Moon

I love reading the local police reports when there's a full moon. Here's an example:

A woman at 20490 S. Arkansas 59, Siloam Springs, reported a woman driving by and telling her to take her horse’s coat off of him. She also threw rocks at her, the caller said. She went to put the horse’s coat on this morning and a vehicle was leaving the location, the caller said. An orange peel was found in the horse’s pen. She was afraid the horse might have been poisoned, the caller said.

But this one was the best of today's reports:

A caller on West Sixth Street reported giving a man a ride to Wal-Mart, where the man bought a cross and then "said the voices in his head told him he needed to be at Waffle House." The man has the word "flexible" written on the back of his hand, the caller said, and is wearing three different shirts, which he kept changing.

A cross wearing flexible shirt changer....now that's much more scary than the guy who tried to pay his electric bill with tin foil a couple of months ago.

My all time favorite happened about a year ago, when a woman reported a man came into a business to apply for a job, but experienced a demonic possession while filling out the job application. No word on whether he got the job.

Clinton Course

Clinton Course

The University of Arkansas at Little Rock is teaching a course on the Clinton presidency. (Please note that this is Little Rock satellite college, not the real one located here in Fayetteville. Here, the interstate signs proclaiming this to be the first home of Bill & Hillary were removed some time ago & replaced with the more helpful ones for the local hospital.)

Slick Willie doesn't fit. Bill Clinton was more like Velcro, a president who couldn't escape controversy, said Margaret Scranton, a University of Arkansas at Little Rock political science professor teaching the state's first college course devoted to Clinton.

Well, Margie, he certainly had a Velcro fly, didn't he? And what illustrious lecturers will be speaking to the class?

Thursday night's speakers included Hal Bass, a political science professor at Ouachita Baptist University, and David Alsobrook, director of the Clinton Presidential Materials Project, where the largest collection of U.S. presidential materials ever amassed is being stored and processed.

The items will eventually be moved into the Clinton Presidential Library slated to open at Little Rock in 2004.

Looks like a whole lot of mutual back scratching going on down in the Delta.

Vets Class Action

Vets Class Action

Here's an interesting use of a class action lawsuit. Gulf War veterans are suing the companies that supplied Sa-dam with chemical weapons.

I say Hooray! for them. I've seen the types of health problems these guys have had since returning home. I'm not sure to what they were exposed, but it were some nasty stuff. Say what you want about the stupid class action suits filed recently, this is an appropriate case. And they've been getting stonewalled for years.

The veterans' lawsuit has moved slowly for eight years. Neither the U.S. government nor the United Nations weapons inspection agency, formerly the U.N. Special Commission (UNSCOM) and now the U.N. Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission, would share supplier information requested by [plaintiffs' attorney] Pitts.

So where did they finally get a list of the suppliers? The answer is surprising.

Former U.N. weapons inspector Scott Ritter, contacted by Pitts, acquired the list for the veterans during a meeting last year with Iraqi Deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz.

"I brought out a series of compact discs which contained the totality of the Iraqi declaration," Ritter told CNN. The "full, final and complete" weapons declaration has never been made public. Ritter gave the CDs to Pitts.

"I am assisting United States veterans, heroes," Ritter said. "People who put on our uniform, defended our country in time of war, who have been abandoned by their government."

Interesting.

Questions, Queries, Posers

Questions, Queries, Posers

Shamelessly stealing from Kristiv, here's my answers to her Friday Five:

1) What is one thing you regret?
Not getting that tattoo when Mike & I were in South Beach...right now I'm regretting that second bowl of Mike's homemade chili that I had for lunch. But damn it was good!

Seriously, I have very few regrets. I try to make amends for my mistakes when I can, learn from them and then move on.

2) What does your spouse do?
He's a professional computer geek.

3) What did you want to be when you were a kid?
A large animal veterinarian.

4) Are you happy with your career now or do you see yourself changing careers again?
Mostly and probably. I like what I do and I'm very good at it. I will never be able to make a decent living doing it though, so I see a career change in my near future...not sure what. Mike & I want to retire in about 10 years and raise work mules.

5) What was your first rated R movie?
Good Lord, I can't remember that far back. I do remember seeing The Texas Chainsaw Massacre at the drive-in as a teenager, and my crazy brother-in-law sneaking up beside the truck and grabbing my arm through the open window. Scared the be-jesus outta me.

Auntie Em Update

Auntie Em Update

As some of you know, my grandson's Auntie Em has been undergoing chemo at St. Jude's for the past few months...I've been getting updates from her mom, and things are going very well...tumors are shrinking, she's handling the chemo pretty well for a 2 1/2 yr.old. Anyway, I got a link from her mom this afternoon of photos of little Miss Emma Grace taken back in November and thought I would share with everyone. Go here, which I hope doesn't overload their server.

Keep the good thoughts & prayer going for her, she's going back for extensive testing next week to see what's to be done next.

Anti-War Protests

Anti-War Protests

Shawn Hannity recently had some good questions for them:

"Why don't you and all you kum-ba-ya liberals out there accusing the president of genocide, why don't you go to Iraq?" Fox News' commentator and Hannity and Colmes host Shawn Hannity recently asked members of the Green Party, which is against the war. "And why don't you protest the 1.5 million people slaughtered by this man? I have pictures of dead babies that he used chemical weapons on. Why don't you go protest him?"

Why indeed.

BTW, the forecast high for Washington D.C. tomorrow is 27 degrees, which should make the planned nekkid protest march real interesting.

Linky Love

Linky Love

Speaking of self-promotion, Rodger has a nice post about me and a joke I sent him. If you click & read the joke, please bear in mind that his accompanying photo, though appropriate, looks nothing like me.

Hell, you couldn't get my leg to do that with a come-along and a team of mules.

Today's Lesson

Today's Lesson

You kids may think you're fooling us, but Mama always knows.

Harassment?

Harassment?

A man convicted of trying to lure a 10 yr. girl into his car has been harassed and run out of 4 states since his release. The ACLU predictably have their kickers in a knot, even though there's an FBI profile and other reports that say this man is still a danger to society. One of his present neighbors has mixed feelings about it all.

Karen Chavez, who now lives near Siebers, said she worries about the danger to and from Siebers.

"It would be just as easy for someone to bury him out here in the desert as it would be for him to take another victim," she said. "I don't want to see anybody get hurt."

Yes it would, wouldn't it?

National Security

National Security

Although there are parts of the new national security program that make me very uneasy, I'm glad to see that at least some parts of it are working as intended.

Two al Qaeda suspects were taken into custody as they tried to enter the United States after their fingerprints were matched with ones lifted by U.S. military officials from documents found in caves in Afghanistan, law-enforcement authorities said yesterday.

The two men are among 330 aliens apprehended at the border since September as presumed law-enforcement threats, as part of a federal program known as the National Security Entry-Exit Registration System — a fingerprinting system that matches foreign visitors against databases of known criminals and terrorists.

Fingerprints from a cave...how cool is that? Our military rocks. Now I wonder what those boys were doing trying to get into our country? And how long do you think it'll take for the Leftinistas to start hollering about how we've violated these boys' civil rights?

Baby Killers

Baby Killers

Unlike Illinois, here's how Oklahoma treats baby killers:

Almost 16 years after brutally killing his teenage girlfriend's 13-month-old child, Daniel Juan Revilla was executed Thursday at the Oklahoma State Penitentiary.

I support the death penalty in these types of cases, which shouldn't surprise any of my regular readers, all three of them. Here's why.

Court documents indicate Revilla rushed into the Jackson County Hospital in Altus carrying Mark Gomez on the morning of Jan. 26, 1987. Hospital personnel were unable to revive the unconscious infant, who apparently had swallowed his tongue. Workers noticed the baby had numerous injuries, including blisters on his chest, peeling skin on the chest and groin areas, bruises on his back, burns and lacerations.

An autopsy of the child's body revealed swelling of the brain and a complete dissection of the liver....One doctor testified Gomez "certainly is a battered child" who was "literally beaten to a pulp," according to court records.....Witnesses said Revilla did not like the child because he wasn't the child's father and that Revilla had shut the infant in a kitchen drawer, folded him in a hide-a-bed, and hanged him by his ankles with duct tape.

All this happened in the one month he was living with the mother of the child.

I think there's a special place in hell for anyone who would do this to a 13 month old baby....the mother who let it happen...and for the "witnesses" that didn't report him to child welfare services. And the state of Oklahoma just sent him there.

What Happened?

What Happened?

Has anyone else had problems going to MSNBC's website? My bookmarked link gets a "Coming Soon" page from Register dot com. I just tried the Professor's link to his article there...same thing. WTF?

UPDATE: Appears to be something very strange going on with my laptop, which I have shut down & taken off the network until Mike can investigate. Couldn't access MSNBC anything, and all my news links on my Yahoo homepage disappeared.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat just in case.

Brrrr!

Brrrr!

I just bundled up & made a brief foray outside...took the dogs out, checked the mail, refilled the bird feeders. It's 21 degrees, wind chill 8. My hands & face were numb and I was only out there for about 10 minutes.

I just saw some idiot out jogging in this. I think he's trying to win a Darwin award.

Interesting Times

Interesting Times

U.N. inspectors have found 11 empty chemical warheads in Iraq; a twelfth is being evaluated further. The empty warheads are a direct violation of the U.N. resolution. And now even Blix is reporting that Iraq has violated the ban on importing arms-related material.

U.N. inspectors also made some surprise inspections in homes of Iraqi nuclear scientists this morning, leaving one home with a box stuffed with documents.

We're also sending troops to Israel this weekend for "joint air defense drills" using Patriot missiles.

Interesting times ahead shortly. Right after the Super Bowl.

Bird Watching

Bird Watching

I've got several bird feeders outside the window where my desk sits. Pretty busy place this morning. There's a pair of mourning doves in the tree, as well as some cardinals. I've seen woodpeckers, sparrows, wrens, finches, snowbirds, sapsuckers, and the little chickadee that thinks all the feeders belong to him. I've also seen several new birds, which I can't identify, including one dark speckled one that was kinda odd looking.

I'm not going to get any work done today...so what.

Road Conditions

Road Conditions

They're bad. Stay home. The roads were just wet, slushy side streets when I took Mike to work. But, by the time I dropped him off & made it back to I-540, the temp had dropped enough to make the road a fairly solid sheet of ice and snow. I saw at least 6 wrecks between Bentonville and Fayetteville, several were multi-car....one pick-up upside down on the median. I drove very slowly and didn't have any problem until I got almost home & tried to turn onto a side street. I slid almost completely past the turn, and I was only going about 25 mph when I started trying to stop.

Needless to say, I'm not even going to try to make it to court this afternoon. Too much ice and too many stupid drivers.

Calvin Quiz

Calvin Quiz

You are Spaceman Spiff! Zounds! You are the intrepid Spaceman Spiff, the engaging explorer ensconsed in an unending universe of exotic and evil extraterrestrials! You're brave, but you should give that dictionary a rest. Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com!

Fairly accurate. My favorite aunt always said I would invariably use a $10 word when a $2 one would do. I think I chose the right profession.

(Ooops. Thanks to Da Goddess for the link.)

Dems' Temper Tantrums

Dems' Temper Tantrums

It seems the Dems in the Senate are refusing to hand over their gavels to the incoming Repubs.

Democrats are demanding a nearly equal split in committee funding and are blocking efforts to organize the Senate until they get their way.

Remind me again, which party won the election? Oh yeah, the grown-ups.

"This is not undermining the election," said Assistant Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, Nevada Democrat. "We agree they should be chairman. We're only asking that we be treated the way Republicans were treated when we were in the majority."

Well, ok, Harry, if you're sure that's what you really want. They can block all the Democrat's proposed legislation, resolutions, judicial nominations, etc., I'm sure. And when they leave office, they'll all remove the "C" from their keyboards. Maybe you should be careful what you wish for there, Harry.

Sen. Pat Roberts, Kansas Republican, compared the Democrats to petulant children on a school playground. "As this drags on, I think this really represents the kind of sandbox silliness that prompts folks outside this Beltway to wonder if this is the United States Senate or a partisan romper room."

Good call, Pat. Couldn't have said it better myself. In related news, Rumsfield briefed the Senate Armed Services Committee on current and potential military operations. This prompted an tantrum by Sen. Daschle, who fell to the floor, cried "Rummy never tells me anything" and screamed & drummed his heels on the floor for over 10 minutes.

Rumsfield responded with "Be quiet Tommy. The grown-ups are talking." Dashle, still sniffling, whined that he was a real Congressman too, at which point he was sent to his office for time out.

I'm so glad the grown-ups are back in charge.

Mouse Protection

Mouse Protection

The Supremes have upheld the 1998 copyright protection law. I'm confused, isn't Mickey the leader of the club that's made for you & me?

M-I-C...see you in 20 yrs.

K-E-Y...Why? Because we're Disney!

Snow Again

Snow Again

We're under a winter storm warning again for tonight & early tomorrow, possible 3-6 inches of snow, with thunder & lightning. The forecast for Jay, as of yesterday, was heavy snow, 6-8 inches, winds up to 35 mph, blizzard-like conditions possible, temps in the low teens.

I'm supposed to be in court there tomorrow at 1. I don't think that's gonna happen.

More Idiots

More Idiots

The Human Rights Watch compared the Bush administration to terrorists.

Human Rights Watch said the administration is using the same argument as terrorists -- that the ends justify the means -- to achieve its goals, and faulted the United States' treatment of combat prisoners and its handling of criminal suspects. The group also pointed to civilian deaths in U.S. combat operations overseas.

I just have two things to say to these idiots:

1. Get a clue.

2. Blow. me.

Idiots.

You Bastards!

You Bastards!

The Sacre Coeur in Paris has been evacuated after finding canisters of gas left in a bag. It is the most beautiful, peaceful church I have ever been in. I visited it in '93, and ended up just sitting quietly in the back for a very long time, listening to a service that I couldn't understand. I think I could have sat there forever.

Blow that up, you slimy worthless bastards, and God will strike each & every one of you dead. You really don't want to piss Him off any worse than you already have.

Townsend Arrest

Townsend Arrest

Go read this. I gotta say, this does not sound like any pervert I've ever had the misfortune to know. (Link via Fark)

And So

And So

Not quite finished, but have a meeting in Jay shortly, so gotta run. A big thanks to Laurence for the step by step instructions. You rock.

Mucking About

Mucking About

Pardon the mess, I'll be mucking about with my template this morning, having found myself with some unexpected free time. Amazing how quickly bookkeeping problems can be solved after a good night's sleep.

Tax Time

Tax Time

Bleh! Busy getting everything together for the CPA...which means all that fine tuning to my bookkeeping program I've been putting off needs to be done now. It's not that I don't know how to do this, I do and am reasonably good at it. It's just I really hate doing it.

I'd rather pluck out my eyes with a cocktail fork....hmmm, if I did, would it be deductible as a reasonable business expense?

Daily Prayer

Daily Prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Well, that and "I will not turn into my mother. I will not turn into my mother. I will not turn into my mother."

Laugh for the Day

Laugh for the Day

U.N. inspectors want at least a year to finish their inspections.

"We are operating on the basis of timelines that have been provided to us in (U.N.) resolutions 1284 and 1441," International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) spokesman Mark Gwozdecky told Reuters in Vienna.

"Those timelines will require somewhere between six and 12 months before we're in a position where the Security Council might suspend sanctions" if no weapons are found.

"We think we'll get the time we need since no one has explicitly said that they disagreed with our assessment of the time it would take," he said.

Here's a pretty obvious clue, Inspector:

Senior U.S. officials said Saturday that Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld has ordered about 62,000 more U.S. troops to head for the Persian Gulf region in coming days — a sign that the Pentagon intends to have sufficient force in place for an Iraq war by early February.

Idjit.

Top of the List Again

Top of the List Again

Yet another reason to live here.

Two of the top-three counties in the state for concealed-handgun permits are in Northwest Arkansas, officials announced this week....In all, there are 37,905 active licenses in Arkansas. Of 2.7 million people in the state, the percentage of license holders is 1.4 percent.

In comparison, Texas has issued 220,000 concealed-handgun permits since 1995, meaning that 1 percent of its 21.3 million residents are license holders.

We even beat out Texas, a state that also has enough sense to not stop its citizens from protecting themselves. One of the top three counties mentioned is Washington County, where we live; the other is Benton County, which is the adjacent county to the north of us.

For even better news, check out our local law enforcement's response to this news:

Jak Kimball, Washington County sheriff's deputy, said he and other officers are not concerned that Washington County is third highest in the state when it comes to concealed-handgun permits.

"Those are the ones we are not worried about," Kimball said, stating that concealed-handgun license holders must go through screening and training. Anyone convicted of a felony is not eligible for the license.

"The ones carrying guns without a permit are the ones we worry about," he said.

What a sensible concept, cops who only worry about people who are criminals. How cool is that?

Gun Control

Gun Control

An op-ed piece in today's Washington Times by Dr. Alex Gerber advances the same tired argument that the Second Amendment right to bear arms only applies to the states' miltias, which were necessary to defend against the "Old World" governments, and that stricter gun control laws are needed to combat gun-related crimes. These pet theories of gun control advocates have been so throughly debunked elsewhere that they're not even worth addressing. However, not content with advocating this foolishness, Dr. Gerber takes it a few steps further.

By today's standards, crime was no serious problem in the largely rural New World, whose inhabitants seldom locked their doors. Aside from rifles for hunting, firearms played a minor role in everyday life. Unknown in Colonial days were serial killings, rival gangs engaged in driveby shootings, hospital emergency rooms flooded with victims of urban gunplay, epidemics of drug-related homicides, teenagers running amok and shooting fellow students, road rage gunfire, the Mafia.

As we say where I'm from, son, you ain't got the sense God gave a goose. Even the most basic, elemental knowledge of our country's history would show what a patently ridiculous statement that is. Serial killers have always existed. During Colonial days, there were highwaymen, robbers, pickpockets, drug addicts, and insane people...not to mention the British, French, and Indian tribes that were trying to wipe out and/or subjugate the colonists. There probably weren't a lot of door locks in the rural New World, seeing how difficult it was to get them...but there were certainly other means to secure a house, like wooden bars. Good God, man, you're a professor, surely you can read.

Badly needed in the U.S. are strict gun-control laws aimed at removing guns from the streets and reducing a firearm homicide rate from 10 to a 100 times higher than that of other civilized nations. In developing such laws, perhaps we should consider, with reservations reflecting our culture and traditions, the firearm penalties meted out in countries whose populations are among the safest in the world — e.g., Singapore. There is a certain appeal about living in an atmosphere where one can walk down the darkest alley at midnight without a second thought.

Ah, yes, Singapore, that hotbed of culture and civilization, where one of the punishments for breaking the law is savagely caning the offender. Now there's an idea I could support.

Hmmm

Hmmm

Maybe this is why kids today can't read. (Link via Fark)

My daughter had a somewhat similar experience with a high school teacher, though not quite this bad. Inappropriate remarks, very dirty jokes, liked to keep the pretty girls after class for petty rule infractions...until I found out & had a chat with the very religious principal. He was a very angry man when I left his office, assured me it would be taken care of and the teacher's behavior improved dramatically the next day.

The sad thing is how difficult it can be to permanently keep people like this out of teaching.

Poor Sollie

Poor Sollie

He saw his best buddy in the whole world (my son) leave this morning with the evil suitcases....now I've been putting away my son's things that he keeps here. Poor Sollie is becoming very upset, and is walking around the house whimpering & crying. I think he's figured out that his buddy's not going to be back for a while.

Sailor Boy

Sailor Boy

My sailor boy is on his way back overseas this morning. I'm tracking his flights on-line, which I think is one of the most helpful things on the internet. Sure helps keep us moms from worrying so much. This morning has been hectic, trying to get everything together for his flight, which left very early. Sometime after I went to bed last night, he left a note on my desk telling me how much he loved me & would miss me....something he used to do all the time when he was a little guy.

I miss him already.

Honey, Bring Bail Money

Honey, Bring Bail Money

According to this, I'd last 5 days....I think it assumes I'm a guy though, so I think I'd last longer...I hope.

How long would you last?

Breakfast

Breakfast

I made biscuits & chocolate gravy for the kids...Mike & I are still too queasy for such, but the kids said it were good. Making biscuits often brings to mind my ex, one of the most anal/compulsive people I've ever known. He once wanted me to teach him how to make biscuits. I don't measure the ingredients, which made him nuts trying to figure out how much of each thing I put in.

Of course, this is the same guy who carefully counted the potatoes in the colander as he peeled them, and then counted them again as he cut them up into the same colander...he said it was to make sure he did all the potatoes. I discovered this when he got really pissed when I said something to him one day & made him lose count. He got even more pissed when I laughed and asked if it wouldn't be easier to just look in the bottom of the colander for any uncut potatoes.

Which is one of the many reasons that he's my ex.

Announcement

Announcement

My daughter became engaged last night to her S.O. She's here this morning showing off her ring (it's very pretty) and trying to wake her brother up to spend some time with him today before he leaves for Japan tomorrow morning.

I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining another guy in the family.

Oh Really?

Oh Really?

Canada doesn't like being blamed for terrorist threats to the U.S., especially the recent hoax about the 5 inflitrators, and wants Hillary to apologize for basically saying their border security sucked.

Hahahahahaha! *pfffft* Hillary apologize? Like that'll ever happen.

Clinton's Washington office e-mailed a statement by the senator late Wednesday that said concerns about the security of the U.S. northern border made the hoax about the five infiltrators "all too believable."

"I take very seriously my responsibility to speak out about the U.S. government's responsibility to allocate increased resources to the protection of our northern border, and I will continue to do so," the Clinton statement said.

Hell may be freezing over, but I have to admit I agree with her on this one. (Yeah, I know, I can't believe it either.)

Canada also has tightened its screening of immigrants and refugees, [Immigration Minister] Coderre said, but would continue with policies that bring more than 200,000 newcomers to the country each year.

"The United States is our friend, not our boss," he said. "We have to have a balanced approach between vigilance and openness. I won't consider everyone who comes to Canada a potential terrorist."

Didn't you mean "anyone", Monsieur Coderre, not "everyone"? That French to English thing can be kinda tricky, you know.

No. 1 On the List

No. 1 On the List

It's a good thing, right?

Warning

Warning

Low-cut hip huggers can be hazardous to your health.

A Canadian doctor has warned that the popular women's jeans can squeeze a sensory nerve under the hipbone and cause a tingling or burning sensation in the thighs called "paresthesia."

So they're not just dangerous to those of us that are treated to the spectacle of seeing your big ol' booty hanging out. My brother-in-law says those girls have a special mirror....one that when they look in it, it lies & tells them that they look good. If your belly or your love handles hang over the waistband, trust me, it's not a good look for you.

Retailers immediately jumped to the defense of the low-cut bum-wrappers.

"They've got to be pretty tight to pinch a nerve," said Michelle Hachey, an assistant manager at Jean Outlet.

Yep, there's a lot of girls out there trying to fit a size 12 booty into a pair of size 5 jeans. Kinda like trying to shove 10 lbs. of mud into a 5 lb. sack.

Dog Shooting

Dog Shooting

You can watch the police video here. Given the facts that the cops had at the time, if I had been the policeman, I would've shot the dog also.

Your dogs should be restrained when travelling in a vehicle, and trained that they are not allowed to exit the car for any reason except on command. Not just to keep this from happening, but also to keep them from getting lost....not to mention to prevent little Fluffy from getting smeared all over the windshield if you get rear-ended.

They Were Right

They Were Right

I have it now...didn't make it to court or anywhere else except the bathroom....repeatedly.

I'm going back to bed.

ICWA

ICWA

I found an interesting article about the difficulties some California courts are having with the requirements of the Indian Child Welfare Act.

Congress passed the Indian Child Welfare Act -- 25 U.S.C. § 1902 -- in 1978 after determining it was in the best interest of an American Indian child to retain tribal ties and cultural heritage, and for the tribe to preserve its future generations. Congressional leaders decided state courts had not protected these interests.

Under the ICWA, if there is reason to believe a child in a dependency proceeding has Native American heritage, efforts must be made to contact the appropriate tribe for intervention purposes. If the tribe isn't known, then the Bureau of Indian Affairs, as an agent of the Secretary of the Interior, must be contacted.

I deal with the ICWA requirements quite a bit, not surprising since I work in Oklahoma. It's pretty straightforward, for a federal statute. But apparently California doesn't agree.

Nearly 25 years after Congress adopted the Indian Child Welfare Act to "protect the best interests of Indian children and to promote the stability and security of Indian tribes and families," social workers and trial court judges can't seem to get it right. State appellate files are replete with rulings remanding cases back to the trial courts to make sure every effort has been made to determine whether a child has even minimal Indian heritage and to contact the appropriate tribe -- of about 550 federally recognized tribes nationwide.

I'm sorry, folks, but it's not really that complicated. Our standard procedure if there's a question about a child's Indian heritage, we make the notification. It's not like it's that complicated...a simple, one-page notification to the tribe in question and to the Bureau of Indian Affairs. Now that may sound like a belt-and-suspenders approach, but you know what happens if you don't make the notification and later it's discovered that ICWA applies? Whatever you've done up to that point is void. As in no legal effect. I have seen a guardianship overturned that had been in place for several years because no one bothered to notify the applicable tribe.

Yes, the stakes are that high. So c'mon, people, use a little common sense. Send the freaking notice. If ICWA doesn't apply, you'll get a nice little letter from the Bureau of Indian Affairs and the tribe telling you so, and you're good to go.

Jeez, do I have to do everything?

Update

Update

The son is much better, and eating us out of house & home again. Mike came home from work at lunch because he wasn't feeling well. My daughter is here, and asleep in a chair. I'm not feeling well, and after finishing my preparations for court, I'm going to take a nap and hope I don't barf while in court tomorrow.

The dogs are feeling great though.

Good Decision

Good Decision

The 7th Circuit Court of Appeals gets it right:

A federal appeals court in Chicago has rejected an assertion that the Supreme Court overturned the entire federal child-pornography law by declaring that Congress could not constitutionally ban computer simulations of child pornography.

On Friday the three-judge panel of the U.S. 7th Circuit Court of Appeals unanimously affirmed the conviction and 33-month prison sentence of George Kelly.

I agree, the entire statute wasn't overturned. I also vehemently disagree with the U.S. Supreme Court's decision that computer simulations were ok. No children are harmed by computer simulations? Well, out here in the real world where I live, yeah, they are. I seriously doubt that pedophiles are content to merely whack off to computer simulations. And I have no sympathy for these supposed maligned "innocent" guys who are just surfing the net & stumble across this crap.

Mr. Komie portrayed his client as an aging retiree killing time when he happened on a sex "chat room the government has an interest in regulating." Kelly arranged to receive material from a person under FBI investigation. He was arrested in January 2002 and later convicted of possessing that material when FBI agents found it in his computer.

See, this would be much more believable if your client hadn't ordered some of this crap.

"They followed the source into other peoples' homes. They had a search warrant and he cooperated, even offering the agents coffee and tea. It was like you came to Grandpa's house," said Mr. Komie, whose client waived indictment and pleaded guilty to two of 14 counts against him.

The three-judge panel accepted prosecutors' description of the chat room as a group of Americans and Canadians "involved in the fetishistic abuse of children."

Well, isn't that just precious? And it was multi-cultural too. I certainly can't speak for your experiences, but that ain't a damn thing like a visit to my Grandpa's house....of course, my Grandpa wasn't a pedophile.

Mr. Komie and other lawyers have raised the specter that computer users who receive unsolicited material could be liable for prosecution, even if they believe they've erased it.

Even if that were likely, which I doubt, that doesn't make what your client did acceptable. I'm glad the appeals court didn't buy your arguments, but not surprised. See, I had this really great law professor who taught us that when we were considering making an argument to the court, we should make sure it passed the "straight-face" test. That is, if we could sincerely make the argument to a colleague or even a mirror with a straight face, then it was probably at least a marginally reasonable argument.

I don't think your arguments pass that test.

E.R.

E.R.

Just got home from spending most of the afternoon at the local emergency room. My son has had a stomach bug, and had gotten dehydrated pretty quickly over the morning....to the point he was too dizzy to stand and wasn't entirely coherent. They ran a bag in him, gave him some phenegren and sent us home. He's feeling better, and should recover completely in a day or so. The E.R. personnel said they'd been seeing a lot of this, and the rest of us could expect to get it in about 2-3 days.

Oh happy happy joy joy. I have 2 trials set for Wednesday. I can see it now. "Objection, your Honor. Opposing counsel is."...*BARF*

It'll be great.

Good Lord!

Good Lord!

I am now ranked second in the Google search for the search terms mentioned last in a post below, which I'm not mentioning again.

What an honor. (heavy sarcasm intended)

So if that's why you're here, listen very carefully, because I will say this only once.

THERE ARE NO PHOTOS OF MEN HERE WITH VERY LARGE PHOTOSHOPPED ANYTHINGS.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE, GO AWAY!

That's just nasty. Don't you people have anything better to do?

Termination of Parental Rights

Termination of Parental Rights

I rarely get to post about my work due to confidentiality constraints, but I want to clarify some misleading statements I read this morning about the termination of parental rights of imprisoned parents...I mean, imprisoned moms. I would suspect there are more dads that lose their rights due to imprisonment, but they don't have as many advocacy groups in our PC feminist society. Which is another subject entirely.

To get back on track, this article discusses the effects on imprisoned mothers of the 1997 Adoption & Safe Families Act, which mandates that the state file for termination of parental rights if a child has been in foster care for at least 15 months. A necessary act, as kids were being kept in foster care limbo for years. When I first starting practicing in this area, some of my first cases had been open for 4-6 years. Usually, the parent or parents were doing just enough to avoid termination, but not enough for the children to be returned home. I thought then, and still do, that that is unacceptable. Children need permanency, which is why this act was passed. However, the act also can also complicate things when the parents involved are imprisoned.

"Even if women have relatively short sentences for nonviolent offenses -- if they don't have family members to step in, they lose their kids," said Joanne Archibald of Chicago Legal Advocacy for Incarcerated Mothers.

I can't address Illinois law, since I'm not licensed there, but in Oklahoma, that is not an entirely accurate statement. Under Oklahoma law, the state is required to file for termination if a child has been in foster care for 15 out of the last 22 months AND must show that the termination is in the best interest of the child. Best interests of the child is the overriding standard for anything we do. If a parent has a good relationship with the child, and works to maintain that bond during a short term of incarceration, we are not going to terminate. I regret to inform you that, in my experience, that is the exception rather than the rule.

Another misleading statement:

When authorities commenced proceedings to terminate Voight's parental rights and seek an adoptive home for Lance, she was able to obtain legal assistance -- something many imprisoned women find difficult.

Again, I'm not familar with Illinois law, but I have to disagree. Parental rights are constitutionally protected as a fundamental right, and a parent is entitled to a court-appointed attorney during a termination hearing if he or she cannot afford a private attorney, just like during a criminal proceeding. Santosky v. Kramer, 455 U.S. 745 (1982), et al. The court must advise the parent of this right, after which the parent can request an attorney or waive the right and represent themselves. I will refrain from commenting on the stupidity of the latter approach.

"The byword is to maintain contact by writing, calling, whatever," said Sue Jacobs, who runs a legal aid center for poor families. "Even if a foster parent won't accept calls, try to have someone else make the calls from another location."

Maintaining contact is essential, not just to prevent termination, but also for the good of the child. Foster parents where I work are not allowed to refuse calls from parents, absent special circumstances...like the calls are aimed towards harassment, not communicating with the child, parent is verbally abusive to the child, etc.

Jacobs said the federal adoption act puts imprisoned mothers at a disadvantage by rewarding states financially for moving children out of foster care into adoptive homes.

In Oklahoma, the "financial reward" is so negligible as to make this statement ridiculous.

[New York Administration for Children Services communications director] Carlson noted that the federal adoption act allows imprisoned women to seek exemptions from termination. However, Martha Raimon of the New York-based Women's Prison Association said child-protection agencies in many states don't routinely encourage such efforts.

"Instead of looking closely