Res Ipsa Loquitur

Surgery Update

The joy continues...my incision ruptured this morning. I'm to go to the doctor Monday since according to them, this is not an emergency.

My face hurts. It's gross. I feel really rotten.

Pity me, damn it!

Chick Flicks

Steve H has stirred up a big anthill with his post on the kinds of movies that "all women" like.

C'mon ladies, go tell him how wrong he is. Some of us hate the Lifetime channel.

Oops

I knew I was forgetting someone this morning when I was adding to my blogroll. Kevin Parrott, who is indeed Hep to the Jive. He's got a great post about the current Survivor series...thanks, now I don't have to watch it...ever.

Any guy who likes Cab Calloway is ok by me. Go check him out.

Protest the Protesters Update

Bigwig's reporting that all the voice mailboxes for Not In Our Name somehow filled up rather quickly yesterday. How did that happen? Hmmm, is a mystery. He has a suggestion for further scientific study of this phenomenon.

Purely in a spirit of scientific enquiry, I wonder how many days this might go on, or before their second number, 202-478-3429, is in the same condition.

Funny, I was just wondering much the same thing.

The Costs of War

The latest hot topic seems to be the cost of a war on Iraq. Some pointy headed analyst is on CNN right now saying we can't afford to go to war because of its effects on the economy....variations on an old theme, you might say. And a silly theme it is, as historically war has always resulted in a big boost to the economy. But now this theme is expanding into something far worse.

Yesterday, I heard Roseanne Cash, an educated source I'm sure, on talk radio whining about the war costs...she was concerned that it was going to take money away from her kids education & healthcare, and away from funding for arts & entertainment. Guess we can count you out for a victory garden, huh Rosie...you ignorant self-centered twit.

The most insulting implication of this argument is that these bigots would rather fund exhibitions of bottles of urine containing a crucifix or photographs of a man with something disgusting stuck up his butt than to assist those who are being systematically tortured and killed by a ruthless dictator...because after all, the Iraqis aren't our problem & they could free themselves if they really wanted.

All of which ignores the brutal reality of the conditions under which the Iraqis live...and the near impossibility of a successful revolution against a dictator who kills without hesitation anyone who might oppose him. He killed two of his own sons-in-law because he wasn't sure of their loyalty, for G*d's sakes. Hello, could you people possibly get a clue? How could you possibly overthrow such a dictator from within?

It is past time to open the gates of hell and help the Iraqis get out. And add Rosie to the growing list of "celebrities" to boycott.

Blue Star for Courage

The Washington Times had an interesting article this morning about the revival of the Blue Star Service banner. (We've had one in our window for months) If you've never heard of these, it's a banner with a blue star for each of your family members that are in active military service, on a white background with a red border. They can be purchased online here, and are a fantastic way to show your support. They were created in 1917, and were used until after WWII. The American Legion has recently brought them back to honor those who are serving our country in the War on Terrorism.

There's even a flag for businesses that have employees serving...which I think would be a very nice way for individuals without family members currently serving to show their support too, as it also has a printed message "We Honor Those Who Serve".

The American Legion provides many services to support families of those who are serving, as well as to veterans. So in addition to showing your support for those currently serving, you'd been helping to support these programs as well as reminding the pro-Saddam crowd of a few things.

What more could you ask for? Go buy one already.

Bleh!

Sorry for the lack of posting since yesterday, was out most of the day taking Mike to work, then going to court in Jay...which wiped me out so badly that on the way back from Jay I seriously considered stopped at Siloam Springs (about halfway home) & calling Mike to come drive me home. Until I remembered that I had taken him to work so he wouldn't be able to come get me...so I sucked it up & made it home.

Still really tired this morning, so I think this will be a day best spent on the couch...TV remote & laptop handy. Hmmm, maybe my doc was serious when he said nothing strenuous for 2 weeks.

Now excuse please, I go take shower.

Blogroll Update

Made a few additions to my blogroll...first up is mtpolitics, a link I discovered some time ago through my referral logs. Actually have been meaning to add them for some time now, just kept forgetting....very interesting & often funny stuff. Go see for yourself.

The addition of other two, Dean Esmay and Charles at lgf sorta violates my self-imposed rule about not linking to widely read blogs (they don't really need the linkage & I don't want my blogroll to get so large as to be useless)...but I like to know when they've updated...so their addition is more for my convenience than yours. But hey, what are rules for if not to be broken? Especially when it benefits me.

Deal with it.

Protest the Protesters

Bigwig has a great idea for a counter-protest against yesterday's "virtual march" foolishness.

If you want to phone in a protest, you should target organizations that can't hand you off to a drone. You want an office without a lot of money, or the multiple phone lines and staffers that come with access to lots of money. You want an office run on a wing and a prayer, one where tying up a staff member on the phone keeps them from doing work more important to the mission of the organization.

You want to call a protest movement.

He's even listed a few relevant phone numbers to get you started.

Excellent.

UPDATE: Looks like the idea is catching on.

Let all voices be heard. Payback is a bitch, isn't it?

Vitual March

I was pretty pissed about the waste of taxpayer's money caused by the pro-Saddam gang's "Virtual March" publicity stunt yesterday. But it seems, much like the head count of their marches, the numbers of participants may have been similarly inflated. While some Senate offices were indeed swamped, others reported that they'd seen much more traffic during Ashcroft's nomination or the impeachment hearings.

I'm still pissed about the waste. Apparently they didn't get the memo that this President doesn't based his decisions on the latest opinion polls or focus groups.

Oh, No.

Mr. Rogers has passed away this morning into the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

Our deepest condolences to his family. It is a great loss for us all.

Akita Attack

Wow. I'm not worried about staying home alone anymore. I was lying on the couch late this afternoon resting a bit before starting dinner. Both dogs were on the couch with me, playing & generally being pests. The front door opened suddenly, which startled me considerably. I was expecting Mike home soon, but he always comes in the kitchen door since it's closer to where we park our cars. A gloved hand and arm appeared, then the outline of a man's body as the door slowly opened.

Sassy immediately jumped up, barked once loudly as the door continued opening, and launched herself at the intruder...headed right for his throat. Fortunately, she realized mid-jump that it was Mike, (who'd caught a ride home from work, had them drop him off across the street & so came in the other door), twisted and manage to land in front of him instead of on him. She's amazingly agile for her size. She also lurved on Mike extra to make up for almost taking his head off.

She's a very good dog. Oh, almost forgot, Sollie was valiantly bringing up the rear too, yapping his silly head off. I sometimes wonder if he's French.

Cranky Day

The sinus infection that the last surgery was supposed to fix has returned with a vengence. I awoke this morning feeling quite unwell to say the least. I've just been to the doc for my post-surgery check-up, and now have a different antibiotic. He is at a total loss to explain. I'm just glad I'm not a dog, or I'd have been put down by now. I'm starting to think that should be an option.

I returned home to find that BitchKitty was so offended that I hadn't made the snow disappear that she urinated on the bathroom rugs. (She doesn't like to use the perfectly clean litter box.) Solly had destroyed the thermometer & its case that I'd left lying on the coffee table this morning. My nose started bleeding while I was trying to clean that up. And two days worth of dirty dishes had not magically washed themselves while I was gone.

I was not a happy camper. But now, with rugs & dishes washed, shattered thermometer cleaned up, and a nice hot cup of tea, the world looks marginally better.

But only marginally.

Advice for Single Guys

Mike's posted his dating advice for single guys...hard-won words of wisdom from the master.

Oh, Sassy Lurves You

Nothing says I lurve you quite like a big dog belch right in your face. Just ask Mike, he'll tell you.

Sassy really lurves him. A lot.

I'm Heartbroken

Donahue's been fired as of Friday. All together now: AAAAAWWWW!

If you'll pardon me, I'd like to gloat...ah, mourn alone.

Secret Identity Revealed!

Michele's secret identity has been revealed. She is...the TupperWar woman!

That's gotta be a tough gig. Go show her some support.

A Worthy Bill

A new anti-child p0rn bill has unanimously passed the Senate.

The measure makes it harder for producers of computer-generated child pornography to evade prosecution, creates new crimes aimed at those who would entice minors into sexual activity, increases penalties and requires greater proof from pornographers that they are not using children.

The new bill is tailored to comply with the Supremes *^%*&%$! ruling last April which struck down most of a 1996 law banning virtual child p0rn. So contact your U.S. Representative and let 'em know of your support.

Today's Funnies

Da Goddess has a great selection of one-liners from back in the day when Hollywood Squares was funny. Example:

Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A: Don Knots: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Too young to remember back that far? Just humor us old folks and pretend you do.

Icon Speaks

Yes, that icon of onanism, George Michael, has spoken.

He told GMTV: "Something like between 80-90% of the public are saying 'absolutely no way' do they want this without the UN ...

"Why does our opinion mean nothing? Surely that is more arrogant than we can ever remember from Thatcher?"

Why? Because you are quite stupidly wrong, O disciple of the one-eyed cleric. Why don't you take your hand out of your pocket long enough to buy a clue? In fact, if you're sufficiently ambidextrous, you should be able to do it without missing a beat.

Freak.

Breaking News

Fox News just reported that North Korea has launched a missile that landed between South Korea & Japan.

I think he may get more attention than he wants now.

Archives

These freaking archives are Making. Me. Mad. And the little insane pug that keeps whining & running back & forth across my lap isn't helping any either.

I think I'm getting cabin fever.

Crazy Families

I've been asked by Steve H to let him do a guest posting about his crazy family so there's no chance they'll ever see it. Having a family that's pretty Looney Tune myself, I was happy to help. So without further ado, I present:

There is Only So Much a Human Being Can Stand

God help me, I can't stand it any more. I have been trying to avoid writing about my family, not because I have any respect for their feelings or privacy, but because some of them could conceivably be smart enough to find my website some day, and the result of that would be like diverting the main inlet pipe from a metropolitan sewage plant through a fan the size of Idaho.

But today's news was the straw that broke the camel's back. There is no way I can keep this to myself and remain even borderline sane. My sister the 45-year-old Percocet addict says she's going to have a baby. Strap yourselves in, children, we are about to rush in where not only angels, but even Michael Jackson fears to tread.

Yes, if we were the Jacksons, my sister would definitely be Michael. I guess that makes me La Toya.

Last week, my grandmother died, and both of us inherited a little money. I'm doing the sane thing with mine. I'm buying a big red electric guitar I can't play, plus a .50-caliber Desert Eagle. Okay, I'm only diverting a portion of it to that, but it sounds better if I pretend I'm blowing the whole wad. My family is vanishing like people who admit they voted for Nixon, and I'm in a business where I get paid in spurts, so I tend to receive money in big lumps from time to time, and I always like to take a little bit off the top and get myself a present or two.

My sister's present to herself will be a squalling brat fathered by a deaf boyfriend half her age, whom I refer to as "Lurch." What difference does it make what I call him? He can’t hear me anyway. When I say she’s having a brat, I’m assuming her engine catches when he turns on the ignition. If there is a God and He takes a hand in this debacle, the kid's sperm will do the wise thing and swim BACKWARD. But as we all know, sometimes God's sense of humor gets the better of Him. She'll probably have twins.

I guess she figures her financial situation has improved, and the one ovary she has left (I think the other one committed suicide as a matter of conscience) is not getting any healthier, and if her looks deteriorate any further, she'll have to BUY semen, so the iron is hot, and it's time to strike.

She came over to my father's house and made the announcement earlier today, after telling us that my manic-depressive cousin is planning to screw up the trust Granny left for him. Apparently, he's angry that he won't be able to spend the whole sum on cell phones and Victoria's Secret panties for the strippers who enjoy his company when he's in a spending mood, which he was in last year, to the tune of $36,000.

My father is an exceptionally fine lawyer, but I will be the first one to admit that not all of his dogs are barking, and he has a sick desire for grandchildren. It mystifies me, because when he had children of his own, he couldn't get away from us fast enough, but I think hormones make people crazy when they get past a certain age. In addition to wanting grandchildren, he hoards plastic forks from Wendy's and packs unused fast-food napkins in all the storage areas of his car.

Well, not even Dad was ready for this little candygram from Satan. As I noted in an email to a friend today, in the past, my sister has claimed to have "lupus, nerve damage, diabetes, kidney failure, rabies, several forms of cancer, and feline distemper." Sure, it's mosly bullshit, but her health is not good, partly because she smokes about two pounds of Winstons a day and in a typical month, she takes her own weight in Percocet.

Percocet, for all you people from non-dysfunctional families not burdened with drug addicts, is a combination of synthetic codeine (oxycodone, I think) and acetaminophen, which you know as Tylenol. Okay, opiates aren't exactly good for you. For one thing, they cause constipation. We always knew my sister was on a binge when she started to look like a pyramid and empty Fleet enemas started rolling out from under her bed. But acetaminophen is a POISON. If you take it in large amounts, especially with alcohol, it will shut down your liver for good, and then you die, unless you're very rich or Mickey Mantle.

Back in the salad days of her addiction, my sister would sometimes take about 30 Percocets or Vicodins (same thing, more or less) in a day. It's a wonder Fleet enemas worked. It's a wonder she didn't have to use a chisel.

She also used to get jaundice. Not regular jaundice, but what I would describe a “Day-Glo Jaundice.” The kind of jaundice that could be helpful when crossing the street on foot on moonless nights. I think that if you put her in a dark room, you could read a book in the yellow glow.

You can imagine what taking 30 Percocets a day will do to your liver. Hell, at that level, the CALORIES start to be a concern. Of course, she got hepatitis. Unfortunately for the people who ran her condo association, she blamed it on a toilet that overflowed (you can get viral hepatitis that way), and she took them for almost $80,000.

She has never gotten a handle on her addiction, possibly because she's a totally worthless human being who has no conscience, but that is just speculation on my part. I assume there’s a connection. Call me a cynic.

Because she can't stay clean, at 45, about half the time, she's roughly the same color as a banana. She looks like a banana with big hair and a briefcase.

So we have a 45-year-old woman with a severe drug addiction and major liver problems, not to mention feline distemper, attempting to conceive a baby with an unemployed deaf man half her age, who cannot work because he has post-traumatic distress syndrome.

Seriously, how could you expect me not to write about this? To a writer, this stuff is mother's milk. God cannot expect me to keep this to myself. Would He put a Ferrari in my driveway and expect me not to drive it? Would He put cigars in my humidor and expect me not to smoke them? Would He make me headmaster of a boarding school for Catholic girls in plaid skirts and not expect me to abuse my position and land in the penitentiary? Surely not. Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treads out the corn. The corn has arrived, and I am treading as hard as I can.

Why does he have post-traumatic stress syndrome? The boyfriend, not God. Although given the way creation has turned out, I wouldn't blame God at all if He turned out to have a prescription for Paxil.

The boyfriend had a DUI a couple of years back. Guess who represented him. No, not Johnny Cochran. My sister. The white female Johnny Cochran. He got thrown in jail for 15 hours, and as a result, he now has a phobia of time clocks and paychecks. Or something like that. The facts are never as important as the big picture.

Okay, let's review. Middle-aged unhealthy yellow woman with drug problem and several dozen incurable diseases. Young deaf man in his twenties who is unable to work because two years ago, some slackjaw with a badge took away his belt and made him sit in a cell where he was not allowed to watch Blue's Clues.

Can this guy hold down a job? Hard to say, since the question is purely theoretical and likely to remain so. My sister says he’s Phi Beta Kappa. I don’t know if you realize how worthless “Phi Beta Kappa” is; it means almost nothing. In my email to my friend, I said, “Whoopee, that means he pulled a B+ average at the College of Sign Language and the Tonsorial Arts.” I’m Sigma Pi Sigma, which is Phi Beta Kappa for physicists, and I routinely have to ask people what day of the week it is.

Would my sister be getting married, my father wanted to know. “Maybe.” Isn’t that special? It’s not bad enough that my nephew will be raised by Helen Keller and the human butter bean. He’ll also be a bastard. And bastardy will be thrust upon him as his birthright. The rest of us in the family had to earn it.

My father was pretty upset by the news. I told him not to worry about it. I doubt my sister’s three remaining eggs have any life left in them. It would probably be easier to fertilize the ones in my refrigerator. Maybe later today, I’ll give that a shot and see how it goes. The end result could be highly beneficial: a chicken with my talent for making cornbread.

I guess I’ll refrain from putting this on my site for now. I know my relatives would never find it. Looking for my website would imply giving a crap about me and my life. But you never know; one of them might come across it by accident while looking for The Smoking Gun or midget porn. My pal Rita says she doesn’t mind helping me hide from my relations, so maybe she’ll graciously throw this little screed up on her blog for me.
If that goes well, perhaps I’ll write about Granny’s funeral. I’m already going to hell, and you know what I always say. “Go big, or go home.”

New Arkie!

Found another hardy Arkie soul...Adam of Single Southern Guy. He's single (hence the name), in his late 20's, and has just started a blog.

Whatcha waiting for ladies? Go see if you can make him blush.

Feh!

Blogger seems to be totally horked this morning...since I finally feel like I'm marginally back in the land of living, the plan for today is to get moved to MT.

Of course, since this site doesn't seem to be displaying properly, you aren't going to know this until it gets fixed...#%$$@@#$!

Ok, now it's working. I'm still moving. We'll let you know when we're finished.

Not All Morons

Not everyone in Hollyweird is a moron.

Director Joel Schumacher ("Falling Down," "Phone Booth") had this to say about his outspoken colleagues: "I think people always think success in show business gives them the right to be moral political arbiters. I'm not in that camp. I think you can privately do whatever you want, but I'm always suspicious of how much ego is involved. I think the government will survive no matter what Ed Norton thinks of it."

Ego? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you to hear that some actors have huge egos (George Clooney) disproportionate to their actual talent (Spike Lee) or intelligence (Jeanine Whatshername). But some of them are pretty damn cool.

Dennis Hopper also attended this year's Berlin Film Festival and was asked for his opinions on the prospect of war, but his answer didn't make headlines. "I said, 'I don't think this is the place to discuss it,'" Hopper told the Chicago Tribune. "And that was the end of it."

He added: "We live in the United States of America, and we have the right to speak and talk about anything we want. I find it a little embarrassing, because I think that right now we need to support the decision that's been laid down by our government to go after Saddam and try to get him to disarm, which is what the United Nations is talking about, and not to give Saddam a mixed message that maybe he can get out of this."

Indeed. (Thanks to Tony for the link)

View from a Window

Ok, so it's the view from our front porch...it's also almost the same view I have from the window over the kitchen sink.

And it's not really out in the country...none of our neighbors have any chickens or hogs, though there is a very nice duck pond at the cemetery across the street.

Snow!

Wow! In the short time it took me to take a shower, the ground was completely covered in snow...big fluffy flakes falling fast...very pretty. There's about a inch and half now...forecast is for 4+ inches today.

Since we've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow,
Let it snow.

Auntie Em Update

Just got an e-mail from Auntie Em's mom (reminder: Auntie Em is the 2 1/2 yr. old aunt of our grandson from his mother's side of the family who had Stage 4 neuroblastoma). Auntie Em is about to start her 6th and final round of chemo, and then will have surgery later in the spring to remove the remnants of the largest tumor that was in her little tummy. She's had a few setbacks recently, bacterial infections in her permanent IV thingy and they haven't yet been able to do the stem cell harvesting due to a very low platelet count, but is doing much better now.

Thanks again to everyone for the good thoughts & prayers sent her way...keep 'em coming.

Good Night

Good Night Ok, so we didn't make it back soon...I haven't felt too well today so I've just been zoned out in front of the TV. It was all Sollie's fault. He made me watch the last half of MST3K this morning and I laughed too much....and too hard. Face swelled up like a balloon.

He just did that because he hates it when I've got the laptop in my lap instead of on the kitchen table.

Little jealous bastard.

Good Morning

And a fair to middlin' morning it is in NW Arkansas. I am once again back in the land of the sane and sober...well, sober for now anyway...and I'll never be entirely sane. But doing pretty well, just a bit puffy faced on one side...I don't even look like a one-eyed jack or anything.

Just wanted to thank everyone again for all the kind comments & well-wishes...they were very much appreciated by both of us.

Now Sollie & I are going to retire to the couch to channel surf for a while...but we'll be back soon.

Third Round

The third round postings for the Fight at Bill's Site are here in the comments. And a more outstanding crop of insults I've rarely seen.

They're standing toe-to-toe, slugging it out like real heavyweights.

It is a beautiful thing.

So Beloved

I am a lucky woman. My daughter spent the day with me, kept Mike company during the surgery, and baby-sat me while Mike made a drug medicine run after we made it home. Sollie kept me company on the couch, while Sassy's been standing guard over me all afternoon...every time I'd move, she'd jump up to see if I was ok.

And Mike has been endlessly replenishing my fluids & caffeine levels, waiting on me hand & foot, taking the dogs out & everything. He even bought me a "Get-Well" balloon when he picked up my medicine...he's never bought me a balloon in the 3 yrs. I've known him, even after the other 2 surgeries I had. (We just don't do balloonies.) But that's not the most impressive thing.

He insisted on putting one of his sacred SpongeBob SquarePants band-aids on my IV boo-boo.

Is that true love or what?

(Why yes I did just take another Percocet, how did you know? I'm feeling better....I feel...happy!)

I'm Baa-aaaack!

The surgery was a smashing success. I am already home & soooooooooo wasted on Percocets.

Oh they'll stone you
When you are young & able
But I would not feel so all alone
Ev'rybody must get stoned.

Hey look, not only can I still spell, but I can also do HTML. I think I need more drugs.

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes. And a big thank you very much to Laurence for posting in my absence. You're a sweetie. I'm scaring you? Heh, heh, now that's saying a lot.

Get Well Soon

(Welcome to the Amish Tech Support Blog A Day Tour, where Laurence Simon is posting on a different blog every day for 2003. It's the 52nd day of the Tour...)

Me? Laurence the Wise?

You're scaring me, Rita.

Get well soon. And I mean get well from everything soon, okay?

Pre-Surgery

I hate this part. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight...which means I already have a caffeine withdrawal headache, my mouth's so dry I think I could spit cottonballs, and I'm hungry. I am not a pleasant companion at the moment. And I can't check in at the outpatient place until 11 am. It's going to be a long morning....for both of us.

Especially Mike.

Pinging Crusade

For those of you who don't already ping weblogs.com with your updates, what's wrong with you? It's simple to set up, and lets the rest of us know when you've posted something new & tasty.

If you use MT, it's a simple matter of setting your preferences in your blog config and it will automatically ping for you for each new post. And Laurence the Wise, who's on a pinging crusade, has simple how-to instructions to set up a one-click manual method for those of us on Blogger and such. It's so easy even I did it right on the first try.

So go do it already!

Uterus Branding Lawsuit

This has to be one of the stupidest lawsuits I've ever seen.

Nine women are asking to join a lawsuit against a surgeon accused of branding the initials of his alma mater -- the University of Kentucky -- onto a patient's uterus during a hysterectomy.

The women -- including a former nurse of Dr. James M. Guiler -- say they discovered they had been similarly branded after watching videotapes Guiler had provided of their procedures.

Jane, you ignorant slut. You were not branded. An organ was marked after it had been removed from your body. Does it really matter how it was marked? Would you feel better if he had drawn a little smiley face on it?

I had a hysterectomy about 16 years ago. And frankly, I wouldn't have cared if my doctor had dried it, tied it up with little purple ribbons & wore it as a hat in a parade through town. I was going to live to fight another day. (BTW, ladies, have a Pap every year. Don't be a statistical anomaly. The money you save by skipping a year or two isn't worth dying for.)

Get over it, you stupid cows.

Out & About

Just got back from my final pre-op visit with the ENT doc...everything's a go for tomorrow. Now I'm heading out to Jay for a short hearing at 1 pm. After that, I'll officially be off work until next Thursday. Woo-hoo!

At least little Ms. Courtney Love BitchKitty has given it up & gone to sleep in her bed.

Later dudes.

First Round Results

The first round results from the "Fight at Bill's Site" are posted here. Acidman has taken an early lead 4-1, with one abstention.

Second round will start this afternoon.

Stupid Kitty

I have been worried about our BitchKitty...hadn't seen her since early yesterday morning, which is very unusual for her. She's about 9 or 10 yrs. old and is spayed, so she usually doesn't stay outside for over a couple of hours at the most...and doesn't leave the yard. I couldn't find her yesterday anywhere, and when she wasn't here first thing this morning, I feared the worst.

She just showed up, bitching & complaining. Relieved, I brought her in, fed her & got her fresh water. Now she wants to go back outside. I don't think so.

What does she think this is, a Holiday Inn Express?

UPDATE: Apparently she does...she just barfed on my stepson's computer desk and then called for housekeeping to come clean it up. It's like living with a rock star.

New Blog

One of our favorite frequent commenters on Scrappleface has finally taken the hint and started his own blog....John Lemon's Barrel of Fish. Here's a sample:

I titled it Barrel of Fish as I intend to take aim at some of the more idiotic things I see in academia and society at large -- all of which is like shooting fish in a barrel. As with any shotgun approach, I don't intend to always use the most intellectual arguments. I want to have fun as well as score some debating points. If you have a problem with that, join A.N.S.W.E.R -- they seem to take themselves all too seriously.

Why are you still here? Go check it out.

Round One

Round One of the much-hyped Fight at Bill's Site will begin today, with Acidman starting the round. Still time to place your bets get a good seat, sit back & cheer on your favorite. Keep checking in with Bill for the latest updates and judging.

If I know Acidman, he'll come out swinging, no-holds barred...as soon as he gets home from work. My daddy always said if you get to throw the first punch, better give it all you got...cuz you may not get another one.

Dark Side

Breaking news: Rodger's gone over to the Dark Side...moved his site to MT. About damn time too. Here's the new link.

Touchy, Touchy

Saddam's getting pissy:

"The Iraqi people don't want war, but not at any cost. We don't compromise on our independence, dignity and right to live as free men acting freely," Saddam was quoted by the state Iraqi News Agency as saying during a meeting with visiting leader of the Russian Communist Party Gennady Zyuganov.

"At the same time as our people need their freedom, dignity and sovereignty, they respect the freedom, sovereignty and dignity of others, including America if it respected the freedom and sovereignty of Iraq and Arabs," he said.

If I weren't so tired from being up most of the night with antihistamine-induced insomnia, I'd be LMAO right now. Doesn't sound like those prohibited missiles are going to be destroyed, does it?

Errand Day

I've been taking care of a few odds & ends today, so not much posting, sorry. Spring has started springing, which has triggered a massive allergy attack...damn cedars! This time of year when they're in full bloom I'd like to burn every last one of them...the rest of the year they're one of my favorite trees. This is _not_ what I needed before the sinus surgery on Friday.

Anyway, while I was out stocking up on antihistamines, I got the ingredients to make Madonna's lasagna...the sauce is simmering away now and smells delicious.

It's good to be a judge of the Fight at Bill's Site. Acidman sent me a lovely, nice e-mail over the weekend. Now Madonna's given me a yummy lasagna recipe....I dunno, Rob, it's gonna be hard to top that.

Thanks, Mr. President

Well, this makes me feel somewhat better.

President Bush declared on Tuesday that he wouldn't be deterred by global protests against war with Iraq, saying "I respectfully disagree" with those who doubt that Saddam Hussein is a threat to peace.

He said such a war remains a final resort, but "the risk of doing nothing is even a worse option as far as I'm concerned."

A very salient point that seems to be lost on the anti-war set...recent history shows us the dangers of doing nothing.

Bush said that the size of the protests against a possible U.S.-led war against Iraq was irrelevant.

"Size of protest, it's like deciding, 'Well I'm going to decide policy based up on a focus group.' The role of a leader is to decide policy based upon the security — in this case — security of the people."

It's so nice to have a leader for a change.

3 Years

Three years ago today, around 6 pm or so, I was sitting outside my office, smoking...I had started dating a bit again after my divorce about 2 years or so earlier, using a couple of on-line dating services to weed out the weirdos. (I had realized I was working too much when my kids started trying to fix me up with their friends' single parents.) I'd met a few interesting men, but nothing spectacular. After 2 disastrous marriages, I wasn't really wanting another relationship, just someone to hang out with from time to time. I'd reached that decision because I knew exactly what kind of partner I wanted...and had become convinced that he didn't exist. However, I wasn't willing to settle for less. Sometimes close enough isn't good enough, and there are much worse things in life than living alone.

At any rate, I was sitting, smoking, thinking, waiting for my date for the evening to arrive....a interesting sounding guy I'd met online and with whom I'd been corresponding via e-mail for a couple of months. I heard someone walk around the corner of our office and looked up...there he was. I couldn't breathe. He smiled and said "Hi, I'm Mike. You must be Rita." And I knew...just knew somehow and I froze. I was terrified. For a split second, I wanted to cut and run...and almost did. But I've never been much of a coward, so I took a deep breath, smiled back and said "Yep, it's nice to finally meet you."

The rest, as they say, is history. We went out for dinner and talked until they closed the place down & ran us out. (I know, what a sappy cliche, but it's true.) It was as if we were best friends that had been separated for years, and we were getting caught back up on each other's lives. With the exception of a few unavoidable trips, we haven't been apart since. I moved in with him a month or so later...our kids thought we were nuts. We were married in NYC on September 2, 2000, by a reverend/rabbi on Staten Island...a wild story in and of itself for another day.

And after 3 years, I'm still glad I didn't run.

A Tuppence Saved...

Now we know on what British men are spending all that money they save on dental treatment.

New Comment System

I'm not the most patient person in the world, so I've installed a new commenting system that seems to be pretty reliable...the downside is that all previous comments are gone. I suppose I could go get them off the old comment server & re-post them, but quite frankly I don't love any of you that much right now.

Maybe later.

Sickening

You know, I've a pretty strong stomach, but this is one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard:

Two employees of a company that transports bodies for the coroner's office were arrested after investigators discovered the body of a 4-year-old girl was sexually assaulted at the county morgue, authorities said. (Link via Fark)

Killing's too good for 'em.

Price for "Peace"

Dean Esmay has a link to an awesome Flash message for the pro-Saddam protesters, made by the dissident frogman. (Many thanks to Michele for the tip.)

It's a must-see.

Big Guns

Inspired by Steve H's post, I've been doing a little research this morning into the Desert Eagle...the original .50 handgun...and found these video clips. I especially recommend the "Shattermelons" clip, though be warned the clips in Quicktime format are a bit slow to download.

My ex-bro-in-law had a .50 Desert Eagle, though I never had the balls to shoot it. If you'll watch the clip "Big Gun, Big Fun" you'll see why....while the cute little college girls shot without visibly breaking their wrists, watch the end of the barrel waver while they're aiming. I suspect there's a reason why the clip didn't include a shot of their targets.

While the .50 would be great fun to piss off the anti-Jew and/or gun hating crowd, I think I'll stick to something a little more reasonable...like the .44 Desert Eagle. I've been considering buying something with a bit more power than the .40 or .357 that I currently own, and the Desert Eagle fits with my new resolution to support Israeli-made products and businesses that support Israel....an great idea I got from Andrea Harris, who also has a handy link to a list of those products & businesses.

So while I'm sure I could find a less expensive handgun that would meet my needs, I also know that the Desert Eagle is a well-made product...and, like Steve H, if it costs a little more to thumb my nose at the Jew-haters of the world, I'll consider it money well spent.

Wow!

Looks like y'all out East got a little snow....Rodger's posted a pic. Go look. (While you're there, look for the cleverly hidden Easter egg. Rodger, you're incorrigible.)

Sunday Quiz

Quiz
created by Polly Snodgrass.

WATER OF AIR. You're aloof, depressed and seasoned. You'd make a good psychologist, executioner, black widow, arsenic poisoner, heretic queen or commentator. You're too witty for your own good. Have to get up early in the morny morn to fool you, as you spot lies a mile away. And WOE TO THOSE who dare attempt such a stupid move. You're Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween, when she cuts Michael's head off. You're Anne Robinson, the host of The Weakest Link!

Pretty much suits my mood today. (Link via BogieBlog, a like-minded individual.)

Comments

Sorry for the lack of comments...Haloscan is apparently doing server work again. It's incredibly frustrating for me, as the comments are my favorite part of blogging. I hope they get them back up soon. In the meantime, feel free to e-mail me if you wanna.

In a related note, Mike & I have tenatively planned to move this over to MT on our other site next weekend, while I'm recuperating from the surgery...may as well put our down time to good use. I'll update with the new link & everything when and if we actually do it.

Nobody's Fool

The Bush administration is nobody's fool...regardless of what the Dems think. They are currently working on a new resolution that will threaten Iraq with "serious consequences", diplomatic code for "comply or we'll kick your ass." But the second part of their strategy is more interesting.

That part relates to its plans to present Iraq with specific tasks over the next two weeks, which would make clear, even to skeptics like France, the extent of its willingness to cooperate.

The tasks would include allowing weapons inspectors to interview Iraqi scientists without government "minders" present, destroying missiles that were recently found to have greater range than the United Nations allows, and permitting unconditional overflights by American, European and Russian reconnaissance aircraft. Iraq has so far refused to go along with those steps.

"We are looking for some early benchmarks, specific things that the Iraqis will have to do to show full compliance," an administration official said. He said Hans Blix, a leader of the United Nations inspections team, agreed to setting such benchmarks soon when he met with Mr. Powell and others on Friday after the contentious session at the Security Council.

As I posted yesterday, Iraq's already saying that ain't gonna happen. I suspect the next UN report, due in a couple of weeks, will be much more condemnatory than anything we've seen yet. Which means more waiting....frustrating, but necessary. We don't quite have everything in place yet.

And more importantly, following the accepted international process combats the charges of imperialism, unilateralism, and all those other "isms" that have been raised by the anti-American crowd. When the dust settles and Saddam's crimes against humanity are exposed, most of the current opposition will fall strangely silent.

What's going to be really interesting to see is how much of France & Germany's violations of the UN sanctions will come to light.

NYC Protests

Sounds like the NYC protesters, like those in many other cities, weren't too peaceful:

Eight cops were injured during confrontations with protesters here. One officer was kicked in the head and a deputy inspector was punched in the face, Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said.

A police horse was hurt when a protester punched it in the face and dragged it to the ground by its reigns, [sic] Kelly added. The horse, Boots, and the riding officer suffered minor injuries.

Mongo, was that you?

Anti-America Protests

Did you ever notice whenever there's a nation-wide "anti-war" protest, the weather unexpectedly turns bad? It was 66 degrees here this morning when I got up, and by noon it had dropped to 41 & they're forecasting snow flurries for tonight...I just heard on Fox News that there's a blizzard in D.C. & weather.com is predicting a historic winter storm for the mid-Atlantic & Carolinas. Gee, sounds like fine weather for fool-sicles.

Coincidence? I think not.

Iraq Says No Way

Iraq's Deputy Prime Minister Aziz says bugger off to the U.N.

Iraqi Deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz said in an interview with CNN on Saturday that it would be "unacceptable" for U.N. weapons inspectors to destroy Iraqi missiles found to violate U.N. limits and dismissed the idea of sending U.N. peacekeepers to Iraq.

Like Mike & I were discussing over breakfast this morning, there's no way Iraq is going to let the inspectors destroy those missiles....which is going to make it painfully obvious that Iraq has no intentions of complying in any substantive way with the UN resolutions. And the Franco-German plan to turn Iraq into their own little fiefdom is ludicrous. Saddam's not going to let that happen.

While on a trip to Rome to meet with Pope John Paul II, Aziz also dismissed a reported plan to send U.N. peacekeepers to Iraq.

"Iraq is a sovereign state. It has provided all of the security needed to re-inspect us, and we don't need United Nations troops to interfere or to be in our country," he said.

Ain't no sweetheart oil deal gonna change that.

Tick-tock.

Interesting Tidbit

UPI reported yesterday that Iraq had given up its turn as president of the Conference on Disarmament, which was due to begin on March 17th. (Thanks to Admiral Quixote for the tip...I had somehow missed this yesterday.)

Perhaps Iraq thinks it may be a bit too busy around then?

Anthrax Lawsuit

This is no big surprise, is it?

The widow of a man killed by inhalation anthrax has filed a $50 million wrongful-death claim with the government, alleging lax security at a Maryland Army base allowed the theft of the deadly strain.

Damn lawyers.

Oooo, Ooooo, Mama Want!

Honey, we've an anniversary coming up, you know...

(Thanks to Rachel for the heads up)

Fight, Fight!

I am greatly honored to have been asked to assist with judging "The Fight At My Site" of Bill Cimino....fight dates haven't been set yet, but here's what I know so far:

1. Bill's ma-in-law, Madonna has had a skirmish or two with Acidman over something he said which lead her to refer to him as a "sexist redneck."

2. Bill has decided the two should slug it out on his site in his comments section, winner take all, which in this case is a prized Rachel mug.

3. The no-holds barred fight will last 5 rounds, with the winner of each round to be awarded 1 point. The judges are myself, the Sassy Miss Rachel, Keith, Joe, and Mr. Helpful.

Bill is posting more details as they are worked out, so keep checking in. *rubs hands gleefully* This is gonna be nasty good.

Good Ones

Good Ones

This after a couple of pointed remarks by France "I speak for a very old country..." and by China "I speak on behalf of an ancient country."

British representative: "I speak on behalf of a old country.......established in 1066 by the French."

Powell: "I speak for a relatively young country....but it is also the oldest democracy of any of the members seated around this table."

UN Report

UN Report

Nothing too surprising so far...though the IEAE guy sounded a bit more testy than the last time. France is currently saying we should let the inspections continue..."disarmament through peace." How very Chamberlain of him. Wonder why they didn't try that in the Ivory Coast?

Blix's report, with the exception of the discovery of the prohibited missiles, was pretty much a repeat of the last one....Iraq's "co-operation" is still much more a matter of style over substance...though he did get in a little dig at Powell's satellite photos, saying there could just as easily be an innocent explanation for the trucks & apparent movement of material.

There could be monkeys currently flying out of my butt, but I can assure you that there's not.

Syria Rep

Syria Rep

Is there some reason we can't smack the Syrian U.N. representative with a big hammer so he'll shut the hell up?

New Iraq Law

New Iraq Law

Saddam's passed a law banning WMD. See, the inspections are working. [/sarcasm]

Damn, it's hard to type when I'm LMAO.

Thunder Alarm

Thunder Alarm

You may be wondering why I'm awake at a quarter til one. There's a mild thunderstorm moving through, and it set off the Thunder Alarm. What, you don't have a Thunder Alarm? Do you want mine?

It's like this. Mike has this cat. A more disagreeable kitty I've never met. She sheds. She barfs. She thinks she should be allowed to drink from the bathroom sink. She wants in, then 5 minutes later wants out...repeat this cycle until owner is sufficiently annoyed. She hates the dogs. She pretty much hates everyone but me. But she has one weakness. She's terrified of thunder. At the first gentle rumble, she starts this ear-splitting caterwauling that would wake the dead. It will even briefly awaken Mike.

She has no snooze button. The only way to get her to stop is to talk her down like a hostage negotiator, which I've just done. She's now back asleep.

I am not.

Dead Tired

Dead Tired

Made it back, didn't steal no babies today, though I was sorely tempted by the little 8 month old lad I got to play with during court. He was a real sweetie. But Mike has forbidden me to bring any of them home since he correctly says we are done raising babies.

Besides, it's more fun to play with them & get them all wound up...then give them back.

yippee

yippee

Off to juvenile court in Jay for the afternoon...my enthusiasm for this prospect is underwhelming.

Getting Warmer

Getting Warmer

Japan's Defense Minister says it would launch a pre-emptive strike against North Korea if there's any reliable indication of NK's getting ready for a missile attack. Can't say that I blame them, they're a likely first target of the Great Looney. What makes me uneasy is his example of what Japan would consider as an attack pre-cursor:

"Our nation will use military force as a self-defense measure if [North Korea] started to resort to arms against Japan," he said, adding that Japan could regard the process of injecting fuel into a missile as the start of military attack.

I can see that as a distinct probability in the near future. The Great Looney is getting increasingly desperate for a response from the U.S. Blackmail only works if the threat is something the receiver sufficiently fears. He hasn't found that trigger for us yet. Plus, he's using the threat of "imperial aggression" to keep down dissent among his citizenry (to have an "us" there must be a "them")....which will work only if there are actions by the U.S. that he can use as evidence of the threat. Our ignoring him & letting the U.N. & surrounding countries deal with him won't work for his purposes. He has to keep increasing his potential threat level against us in order to provoke a response that he can use, or he loses it all.

We really have only two options. Capitulate to his demands, which as the Clinton treaty demonstrated, doesn't work. Or take steps to neutralize him, which I believe we're doing. Our refusal to negiotiate sends the right signals...we're not interested in taking over NK, thanks...makes the Great Looney lose face, i.e., his representative was sent to visit with the governor of Arizona...and we're letting the IEAE report NK to the UN for its nuclear violations, thereby letting the international process run its course, which gives him nothing to use against us. (It's the Information Age, bucky, and if you think NK's citizens aren't getting some uncensored reports from the outside world, you're sadly mistaken.)

At any rate, I think we'll be seeing more escalation on NK's part in the very near future...logical next move, even for a looney. The troubling part is that one logical escalation would be to fire another missile over or at Japan...which would guarantee a military response from us and them, and rightfully so. (More desirable from his standpoint than attacking Seoul because that would hinder his master plan of reuniting the Korean peninsula.)

Things are going to get very ugly before this is resolved, I fear.

Donahue & Dennis Miller

Donahue & Dennis Miller

Just watched Dennis Miller on Donahue...it was great watching Donahue's face pucker up like he was chewing on tin foil. Two best quotes from Dennis:

To Donahue: "I'm proud to fight for a country in which you can continue to miss the point in."

Re Hillary: "Rides Bill's coattails because as we all know, there's often no room left in the front of the garment."

Iraq's Missiles

Iraq's Missiles

Fox News Channel is reporting Blix's inspection of Iraq's missiles has revealed a direct violation of the UN resolution...the missile has a range of 5 times the allowable range....and that the missiles have rocket engines that were illegally imported by Iraq.

Wonder where Saddam got those??

UPDATE: Here's a Reuters article on the missile inspection.

Beautiful Day

Beautiful Day

I tell you, there's nothing like spending an hour or so outside on a unexpectedly warm winter afternoon....gentle breeze brushing your face...as you de-tangle the matted hair on your uncooperative dog's butt.

North Korea Threat

North Korea Threat

The IAEA has reported North Korea to the UN Security Council for non-compliance. The Great Looney has previously said that North Korea would regard any sanctions by the Security Council as an act of war.

Now the CIA has released information that North Korea has an untested missile capable of delivering a nuclear warhead to the U.S. Granted, an earlier attempt by the Great Looney to use this type of missile to launch a satellite was a spectacular failure.

I'm beginning to believe the Great Looney really does want a war after all....which means that my father and my son will have fought in the same war. For the safety of us all, I hope my son is allowed to finish what his Poppy wasn't.

Honorary Arkie

Honorary Arkie

Aaron the Liberal Slayer has earned the designation of "Honorary Arkie" by virtue of his claim to have visited Dogpatch a couple of times, and demonstrating that he actually knows where Jasper, Arkansas, is. Impressive achievements, indeed, Sir Aaron. Go check him out.

Alas, Dogpatch is now sadly defunct and Daisy Mae & L'il Abner live on only in our dreams. My son and I shared our first of many roller coaster rides there when he was 3...my daughter refused to ride it, preferring the merry-go-round, from which we eventually had to pry her kicking & screaming little body. And I had my first try at ice skating at the nearby Marble Falls ice rink as a teen-ager with my best friend. Such pleasant memories of such a silly place.

Thanks for reminding me, Aaron.

Poor George

Poor George

Poor Georgie's lost his voice. I'm sure that's not a hint from the Almighty or anything, right?

Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo

France has long repaid our assistance with anti-Americanism & backstabbing. For example, remember this? You know, the Germans wore grey, the French wore Vichy surrender blue? After we cleaned up that little mess, how did the French try to repay us?

"In 1966, Gen. DeGaulle wanted to throw us servicemen off the bases in France," [Philip Jutrass] said. He recalled how the State Department answered, fine, but we'll take with us the bodies of the 60,000 Americans buried in France who died to save your country.

"DeGaulle was no dummy," Jutrass said. "It would have caused millions of big-spending Americans to give France a big miss. DeGaulle never said another word."

France's perfidy was the main topic of discussion at our court yesterday. Someone teasingly asked one of my esteemed colleagues, a WWII veteran, if he was ready to be called up again. He paused a moment, harrumphed, and replied, "I helped save their asses once. I'll be damned if I'll do it again."

The general consensus was that France was, once again, trying to maximize their gain by being anyone's little dog that will hunt with her...believing that, as always, the despised Americans would protect them when things went bad. I think it's time that the arrogant Vichy-swine learned that actions have consequences.

Boycott them.

Day Over

Day Over

Bench trial verdict was totally unexpected...we won...no babies saved, different kind of trial. Most of the credit should go to my co-counsel, he did a great job...I just gave him the ammo. I got the mad research skillz. My secret? Two things. 1. Read the Damn Statute. 2. Read the Damn Cases.

Jeez I'm tired. More later when I've had dinner & caught up on today's news. I heard on the radio driving back that there'd been a new Osamy audio tape released. Guess it's kinda hard to videotape a dead guy, huh? And something about it confirmed the al-Queda & Iraq connection? Bet Saddam was happy 'bout that.

Must go read now.

On the Road

On the Road

I'm off in a bit on the road to Jay...bench trial this morning, conferences this afternoon. While I'm gone, ponder this:

Is it just me, or is the "human shields" trip to Bahgdad starting to sound like a Hope/Crosby Road To... movie?

Tim Blair has the scoop.

Ooops

Ooops

Note to self:

When demonstrating to the dogs that the vacuum isn't scary so you can use the attachment hose to vacuum the loose hair off them, it's a really bad idea to stick the end of the hose to your face...when said vacuum is so powerful it can suck the paint off the walls.

Right Thing to Do

Right Thing to Do

Dodd for President...the one we like.

Wanna play? See here for details.

Save the Crayon

Save the Crayon

Keith has alerted me to a new national crisis. Burnt sienna is one of 5 crayons that Crayola is thinking of terminating with extreme prejudice. Is there no end to the horrors this new century will bring? But you, my trusty readers, can help save our old friend. Just go to their website and vote to save this classic from extinction. (Yeah, you have to register to vote, big deal...it's not Florida you know.)

It's the least you can do. It's for the Children ^TM.

Boo-Hoo

Boo-Hoo

A German poll shows that 57% of the Germans polled think the U.S. is a nation of "warmongers." Yeah, like that hurts my feelings coming from them. But this did piss me off:

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder has angered the Bush administration with his outspoken opposition to a war in Iraq, a position that has widespread backing in Germany where six million people were killed during World War II. (Emphasis mine)

Disingenuous little statement from Reuters, isn't it? Either they are referring to the Holocaust victims, who were murdered by...all together now...The Germans. Or they're referring to the people actually killed in the war started by...The Germans...and glossing over the Holocaust.

Asshats.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

Neither Mike nor I celebrate Valentine's Day, so we are sooooo ready for it to be over. I think it's a big waste of money. A dozen roses? No thanks, I'd rather have a dozen rose bushes to plant...then I can at least be doing something constructive when I cut a big bouquet of soon-to-be-dead flowers. Box of chocolates? Honey, every day is a good day for chocolate. Jewelry? Except for my wedding ring & occasionally a watch, I rarely wear jewelry. A special day to celebrate our love for each other? Isn't that what our wedding anniversary is for? Besides, like Mike says, we love each other every day.

This year is a bit different...the added reason of we'll be going to war against Iraq soon after Valentine's Day, I suspect. I'm sick of reading about it, the endless repetitive nonsensical arguments against it......the posturing & self-centered CYA maneuverings of France and Germany. I've always been one, when faced with an unpleasant task, to just do it and get it over with. Waiting doesn't make it any easier to do.

After the upcoming U.N. report is in, which BTW isn't going to be one bit different from the rest, can we just go already?

Clooney Outburst

Clooney Outburst

Poor George didn't like a critic calling his new film boring.

"I find you fascinating," Clooney said, responding to the Turkish journalist's remarks on the film -- which got decidedly mixed reviews in the United States.

"You crack me up, man. You just wanted to get up and be a rat, you know that? You just wanted to get up and say something rotten. What a jerk! I mean honestly, you know, what a shitty thing to say!" said Clooney..."You make a lot of films, do you?" Clooney asked rhetorically. "You make a lot of films yourself? Yeah, I'd like to see you make a film first before you get to talk about it. What a jerk!"

Funny, that's exactly the way most of us felt about some of your recent statements.

Nuclear Iran?

Nuclear Iran?

This can't be good news, can it?

President Mohammad Khatami said on Sunday Iran had mined uranium for use in its nuclear power plants and would reprocess the spent fuel itself, but insisted its nuclear program was solely for civilian use.

Oh sure, you saw Iraq & North Korea jump off the cliff, and now you want to jump off too. You know, I used to think nuclear power, properly used, was a good thing...but I'm starting to re-consider my position. I'm beginning to wish that particular Pandora's box had never been opened.

Is hope all that we have left now?

Family Photos

Family Photos

Mike's posted some photos of his daughter & her husband. The first is of the both of them on the Naples, Florida pier at sunset....very beautiful place. The second is, well, quintessentially Libby, goofying around for the camera.

She'll get him for posting that one. I want to make a record right now and say I told him not to....even though it captures her perfectly.

Heh heh

Heh heh

The daughter just stopped by with the grandson on her way to take him home to his mom's. He still can't say "Get in the kitchen and get me some pie!"....but now he can point at you and imperiously demand "Pie!"

Heh heh heh...his mom's gonna kill me.

High Tech

High Tech

Techological advancements like ADSL and digital cameras, like most things, are very useful...for good and evil. The same technology that makes it relatively easy for us bloggers to post shots of the foolish nekkid pro-Saddam protestors, for example, also makes it relatively easy for perverts to post thousands upon thousands of shots of children being sexually abused for other perverts to download & view at their leisure. Hideous, no? Here's an example:

Most children depicted in [this crap] are prepubescent, with most of them appearing to be from 6 to 11 years old. Yet many of the victims are toddlers or infants. The photos include [nekkid] shots as well as depictions of [really perverted crap] (Ed: Edited to avoid search engines hits from perverts.)

A federal database is being developed to combat this infestation, managed by the Customs Cybersmuggling Center, in cooperation with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. They use face-matching software to i.d. these kids, so they can track them down...and in light of our misguided Supreme Court's decision, prove that they are real and not computer generated. (I'm not even going to get into how insanely stupid I think _that_ ruling was.)

Now that I've ruined your nice Sunday breakfast, you're probably wondering what you can do. One thing you shouldn't do is a Townsend, but if you do happen to stumble across some of this crap, contact your local FBI, or go here to file an on-line report with the National Center tipline. But those of you with the "mad skillz" can do even more by working with law enforcement to find & convict these perverts. Looking for a job? Check with U.S. Customs, the FBI, etc. Tell 'em I sent you.

Softer Side

Softer Side

As quietly deadly as a switchblade....go see the softer side of Rumsfeld.

New Babs Fax

New Babs Fax

Hot off the fax machine over at GOC, Babs faxes Nancy Pelosi. There's even a link to Babs' site...I did a little poking around, being of strong stomach this afternoon. I believe you can tell a lot about a person by the things he or she reads. Let's see, here's who Babs thinks is "worth reading".

--Anyone who writes for the NY Times.

--Maureen Dowd

--Jesse Jackson

--Maureen Dowd

--Robert Fisk *snicker*

--Helen Thomas

--Maureen Dowd

--Bill Moyers

And saving the best for last,

--Robert C. Byrd

(Did I mention she seems to like Maureen Dowd a lot?) At any rate, I'm still trying to figure out what this means:

A new Newsweek poll found that an overwhelming majority of Americans (60 to 35%!) are actually opposed to the war ... hopefully we will no longer be a “silent majority.” (Emphasis mine)

60-35%? What, if anything, does that even mean? Babs, it saddens me to tell you this, but a good proofreader will beat spell check every time. But she's right about one thing.

Time and again we have learned that the voices of the people can change the course of history.

Especially those who say "Target acquired,sir"..."Fire when ready"..."Sir, yes sir!"

Are we there yet?

Pro-Saddam Protestors

Pro-Saddam Protestors

Nekkid protestors in the snow. Charles has the photos, and asks "What The Hell Is Wrong With These People?"

They're a bunch of loonies, that's what...right daft they are.

Nightmare

Nightmare

James has posted my worst law school nightmare....MASTER SGT. JOHN “JACK” STEELE, ADJUNCT PROFESSOR OF LAW.

Sucker Punched

Sucker Punched

The grandson has this thing about no one or no thing is allowed to touch me. The dogs are not allowed to sit in my lap, which has resulted in many a wild battle between him & Sollie. Yesterday afternoon, we were in the kitchen, I was holding the grandson because my daughter had stepped outside to smoke and he had thought his favorite aunt was leaving. Mike walks up & puts his arm around me. *SMACK* The grandson is furious, and tries to make Mike move his arm. Now Mike thinks this is funny, so he snuggles me up & starts saying "Mmmmm, mmmmm, this is my Ma." The grandson starts screaming "NO!" at the top of his lungs & starts swinging....which isn't too bad until he makes a fist & tries to slug Mike. He's 2 yrs. old. Not entirely coordinated. He slugs me in the nose...right on the place where I had the last surgery...which was still kinda sore. OOOWWWW! Game. Over.

The grandson is happy, hugs me up tight and then is ready to get down & play. But later, when we took them out for dinner, everytime Mike would show any affection towards me, the grandson would glare, shake his finger at him and firmly say "Mike!"

In related news, I spent most of the afternoon trying to teach the grandson to say "Get in the kitchen and get me some pie!" but alas, it seems his vocabulary isn't up to Cartman yet. We're still working on that one.

Snowball

Snowball

My daughter & I just got back from picking up my grandson for the weekend. My daughter was driving her car, and as we turned onto a side street on our way to my house, some little fat kid on the sidewalk lobbed a snowball & hit her windshield. My daughter slammed on the brakes, I rolled down my window...I yell at the kid "You better stop that you little brat!"....my daughter yells at the kid "You do that again & I'll get out and kick your ass!" The kid's eyes get as big as saucers & he desperately tries to blend in with the other kids in the crowd. We stare at him for a few more seconds & drive off.

We wait until we get out of sight before we start laughing so hard she can barely drive. Scared the crap out of that little bastard. If I had just thought, I should've jumped out of the car just to see how fast he could run.

Hoo-Hoo's

Hoo-Hoo's

Sweet Mother of God, go look what Bill found...The International Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo. Founded in 1892, in the town of Gurdon, Arkansas.

The "Scrivenorter" just sounds like too much work. I want to be the "Jabberwock". Remember what Lewis Carroll said about them:

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

I could get into that.

Letter

Letter

Much to my surprise, I got a letter yesterday from James Carville soliciting a donation to the Clinton Presidential Foundation. (I'm fairly certain they got my name from the Arkansas Bar roster, based on the way the letter was addressed.) I was even more surprised when I read the first line:

Throughout the eight years of his presidency, you've been one of President Clinton's most loyal supporters.

You're not a regular reader of my blog, are you James? Cuz that's one of the most thoroughly mistaken statements I've ever read. After Mike & I were finally able to stop laughing, he tried to get me to scan it in & post a link to it...but the freaking thing is 3 1/2 pages long & I have better things to waste our storage space & bandwidth on. But here's one of my favorite paragraphs:

Under his leadership, America once again became a positive force in the world. He moved Northern Ireland closer than ever to lasting peace. No president worked more tirelessly to achieve peace in the Middle East. He restored democracy in Haiti, ended ethnic cleansing in Bosnia and Kosovo, saw the dictator who promoted it overthrown, and developed new partnerships with nations in Africa and Latin America.

What a spinmaster! Funny, there's no mention of the treaty with North Korea he negotiated. You know, the one that's biting us in the ass right now?

But what really cracked us up was the enclosure of a drawing of the proposed presidential library, which you can see here. Is it just me, or does this bear a remarkable resemblance to this?

Glad to know Bubba's never strayed too far from his roots.

Freak

Freak

I didn't watch the freak show last night...I see enough of that at work. I don't find the sexual abuse allegations or the child endangerment balcony thing particularly shocking, I see that crap all the time. What really horrifies me is the thing with keeping their little faces covered when they're in public. That's just twisted. And his excuse of doing it to protect them from kidnapping is just bullshit. He does the same freaky thing to himself. Can you even imagine what that's doing to those kids psychologically? And what pisses me off even more than the lack of action by Child Protective Services is hearing statements like this:

Jacko's ex-wife Debbie Rowe, mother of his first two kids, rushed to her ex's defense.

"He's a really wonderful, loving, caring man and he's not portrayed as he really is and it really pisses me off," she said on a London TV program.

Blow me, lady. I hear that bullshit justification from women like you all the time....you know, the ones standing in court charged with failure to protect. Which is where you need to be, you self-serving piece of shit.

C'mon, CPS, get some huevos. These babies need stealing.

Nothing

Nothing

I have nothing interesting to talk about, so I'm reading, sipping hot cocoa & watching it snow.

Sucks to be me doesn't it?

Baby Stealer

Baby Stealer

I'm ranked #9 on AOL for the search terms "baby stealer". Damn it, I'm so disappointed. I demand to be #1. After all, I am a professional baby stealer. When someone asks Mike, "Say, Mike, what does your wife do?", he always replies "She's a baby stealer...she steals babies out in Oklahoma."

Just ask Matt or Vicky. We were at their infamous "flaming carpet" New Year's Eve party, when one of Matt's co-workers said to me "So, Mike said you steal babies...seriously, what do you really do?" "I'm a baby stealer," I replied. "I really do steal babies."

Coincidentally the party got really quiet about that time. Curious, really...you could've heard a can of Sterno drop. I then explained that I am a court-appointed attorney for abused & neglected kids. The guy seemed really relieved for some reason.

I don't see what the big deal was really...some babies need stealing.

North Korea's Tantrums

North Korea's Tantrums

North Korea continues to behave like a recalcitrant 2 yr. old.

"No! I want Mommy to put on my shoes!"

"But Mommy's busy right now, I can put on your shoes just fine."

"NOOOOOO! WANT MOMMY TO DO IT!"

Except in their case, they're like a toddler with a gun...and possibly bullets in their Pull-Ups. No one is taking their claim seriously that they are reactivating their nuclear facilities just to provide electricity for the masses. And they keep making more serious threats.

North Korea warned Thursday that any pre-emptive attack by the United States on its nuclear facilities will spark a "full-scale war" on the Korean Peninsula.

A bit of wishful thinking there, I doubt that we are even seriously considering that option at this point. Not that we aren't looking for ways to put them in time-out, I'm sure. But wouldn't it be interesting if someone else did launch a pre-emptive strike...like China? Not many retaliatory options for North Korea there or excuses to attack South Korea or Japan.

Not likely to happen, granted, but it's a thought.

Snow

Snow

There's about 2 inches so far...wet sticky stuff that's all over the trees & power lines but not the streets. The main power line in front of our house is bouncing wildly, from the weight of the snow I suppose...I suspect we may lose power shortly.

It's picture postcard pretty though.

New Pro-War Movement

New Pro-War Movement

In light of Bill's post on chicks getting nekkid for peace, I've decided to start a new pro-war movement...and it's already sweeping the nation. If you support the war, then keep your damn clothes on. It's amazing at the support I've seen in such a short time. In fact, everywhere I went today people were wearing clothes to show their support for the war.

Now we just need a good name...Mike's suggested Clothed, United, and Not Terrified.

Whaddya think?

(FYI: Haloscan is having "server issues" so if your suggestion gets eaten in the comments, or the comments are going down like a prom date like they've been all day, e-mail it to me & I'll post 'em in an update. Thanks)

Poll Results

Poll Results

Zander's posted his poll results...very interesting, go look for yourself. He got a great response too, 1223 votes. Pretty cool!

Another Arkie

Another Arkie

Though I didn't nap (who could with Cape Fear on, the Robert Mitchum one?) I have alas been awash with ennui this afternoon, and neglected to mentioned Vicky's discovered another new Arkie blogger, the appropriately named Nuthatch's Nest. The Nuthatch promises to deliver:

An unattached and uncommitted view of politics in Arkansas, the US, and wherever else we may find compelling items.

And does quite nicely I should add. Go check 'em out.

Snow Time, Nap Time

Snow Time, Nap Time

They're predicting anywhere from 2-6 inches of snow here tonight. Judging from my joints and the way the birds are cleaning out the feeders, I'd say it'll be more rather than less. Radar looks like it's moving into central Oklahoma already. And since I cleared my desk yesterday, not knowing when my surgery would be scheduled, I have no work that can't wait....and since I finally got a replacement for the cable remote that Sollie destroyed while I was gone to San Diego, I'm going to watch TV & take a nap with my pug & electrically heated throw on the couch.

Nighty-night.

UN Speech

UN Speech

I've been out of the office as they say for most of the morning, so had to listen to most Powell's speech on the radio. All I can say is "Kick ass!"

I returned just in time to see Syria thanking France for all it's done to preserve peace. I'm still laughing at that one. Hey France, you've pissed almost everyone else off, but you've still got Syria as your little friend. Isn't that special? Now Germany's on there, saying Iraq must disarm & cooperate with the inspectors. Or what? I'm not hearing any consequences if they don't.

As expected, Iraq is saying it's all fabricated. What.Ever. How many heads you think are gonna roll there over the next few days?

Now they're talking about raising the threat