Res Ipsa Loquitur

Done!

We have finished our major yard clean-up! Yay! All I gots to say is that when you're trimming around a huge rose bush, you should be really careful....cuz when one of the thorns sticks in your nose, and your foot slips, which makes you fall...well that really freaking hurts.

I did not need my nose pierced.....again.

Bombing Suspect Caught

Eric Rudolph has been captured....after being spotted digging through a trash bin in Murphy, N.C.

How appropriate.

Not-So-Beautiful People

Cracker Barrel Philosopher posts that HDTV is revealing that the "Beautiful People" aren't so perfectly beautiful after all. So now the makeup artists are developing spray-on airbrush makeup....to replace the old spackle and trowel approach I guess.

Just like I always told my son...son, I'd say, them women don't really look like that. And any woman who is that obsessed with her looks ain't gonna have any time left to pay any attention to you.

Someday he'll figure out I was right.

Think So?

You are... What Dreams May Come - "I would go
to hell to find you."
Love, above all else, is important to you. When you
love someone, you really love them, and you'd
do anything for them. Sometimes that an get you
into trouble, but to you that isn't important;
what is important is is maintaining the levels
of caring and trust in a healthy relationship.
You little romantic, you.


What movie quote are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'd go to hell to find you alright...and you'd be begging to stay there once I did. (Link via the always naughty Goddess)

Geek Test

No surprises there...Mike is a Major Geek. I am a Total Geek.

Dilbert and Velma, that's us.

Habla Espanol?

Miss Rachel posted about her frustration with a student who, for some reason, keeps mispronouncing "con" in her Spanish class. I feel her pain. There was this airhead chick in my first semester Spanish class who couldn't pronounce "ocho". Which, as I'm sure you know, is "o-cho", both o's are long, as in "oh". This chick always said, in this syrupy Southern drawl, "ooooo-cho". By the end of the semester, even the professor, a courtly old gentleman, wanted to kill her.

But you stick with it, Miss Rachel, and try watching the Spanish tv channel or listening to some of the Spanish radio stations, you'll be surprised how much you'll pick up. Speaking Spanish comes in real handy at times....like when I was subbing for the juvenile prosecutor & some Hispanic teen-ager defendants were sitting together, conversing in Spanish before court....like I was some estupido gringo that couldn't understand them. You should've seen the looks on their face when their case came up before the judge & I rolled their names off without hestitation like a native speaker.

One of those priceless moments. Que tal, esay?

Friday Five

1. What do you most want to be remembered for? My biscuits...and my baby stealing.

2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life? Life's too short to dance with ugly men.

3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year? I'm still happily married.

4. What about the past ten years? Passing both the Arkansas and Oklahoma bar exams...3 years apart.

5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say? Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where that's been.

It's applicable to so many different situations.

Spam, Spam, Spam

Had this interesting email waiting when I got home from class from Dr. Ahmed Sadiq, who wants to give me 25% of $15.2 million, blah blah blah.

Now it's Friday, I'm in kind of a piss & vinegar mood, so I replied:

Hi Ahmed!

TTFN

Let's just see what old Dr. Ahmed Sadiq has to say about that.

Yikes!

Looks like my son has been battening down the hatches...a typhoon is headed towards the Japan mainland.

Though from the radar, it looks as if the worst has missed him already....this time. When I talked to him a couple of days ago, he said they were under a typhoon watch, and that he had been assigned to one of the typhoon Humvee teams.

Thanks, Navy C.O.! Like I need some more grey hairs.

Too Funny!

I've discovered from my referral logs that someone translated my site into French...with some hilarious results. (Disclaimer: No I don't speak French with any proficiency, but I can read it a little.)

--"Mike cooked dinner" became "The microphone cooked dinner."

--"Hippy Chick" became appropriately enough, "Chicken Hippy".

Go check it out. Nothing like seeing "the tater tots weren't burnt" in French.

Or shall we say, "les tots de tater n'ont été brûlés"

Responsibility

The Ohio Supreme Court is considering an appeal from a conviction of a woman for violating the protective order the lower court had entered against her husband.

The appeals court decision broke new ground, said Cheryl Hanna, an expert in domestic violence law who teaches at Vermont Law School.

Professor Hanna said the appeals court's decision reflected a larger debate about how best to keep the victims of domestic violence safe from their abusers.

From my limited experience in the field, this is a huge problem. And it's not just the women who allow their abuser to sweet-talk their way back...it's also the harpies that talk their "abuser" into dropping by, and then call the cops when he does.

There's nothing wrong with making people take responsibility for their actions, though...and that is just as applicable for women in these situations as men.

But that's just my opinion.

Clue for Paulie

Yo, Paulie, here's a clue for ya. Wag The Dog was written about Your Favorite President, not the present one.

And if you ever read something besides that rag for which you work, you might've noticed that we're beginning to find evidence of WMD's.

Asshat. There's none so blind as he who wouldn't see.

Po-Mo Pol

Some liberals are getting a clue about Hillary.

After years of being vilified by conservatives, Hillary Rodham Clinton is suddenly facing mounting criticism from an unlikely quarter: liberals.

Core Democratic constituencies that helped Mrs. Clinton win her Senate seat in New York two and a half years ago are expressing deep disappointment in her, saying she has been unwilling to challenge President Bush and Republican leaders in Congress on issues of importance to them.

What they're actually realizing is that Hillary and hubby Bubba are the consummate post-modernist politicians. They appear to support all the right things, but ultimately only stand for what helps them the most at that point in time. After all, everything is relative you know.

But the downfall of a po-mo pol (see, e.g., Al Gore) is that at some point, you must stand up for what you believe in....a revealing exercise for Hillary, who believes in nothing but power.

New York voters should beware come next election. Lord Acton was right.

Dems Self-Destruct?

Can the Democratic Party do anything right? Seems like everytime I turn around, they're shooting themselves in the foot. For example, the latest debacle:

The termination of 10 minority employees at the Democratic National Committee this week was a mistake that never received formal approval, a party official said yesterday.

The termination was supposedly a cost-cutting move for the upcoming election, but what everyone wants to know is why were they all minorities? You know, if the Republicans had done this, the Dems would be all over them like a chicken on a june bug. But McAuliffe is keeping mum at present....I suppose racing to come up with the proper spin.

That's gonna be a tough one....for it is a telling example of the Dems' true opinion of minorities.

Use 'em and lose 'em.

UPDATE: Oh-ho! Now the Dems are doing an about-face...."commitment to diversity" and all that. Yeah, right.

Hey, Hippy Chick!

While I was outside, I noticed a hippy chick across the street mowing her lawn with one of those old push reel mowers. How environmentally correct.

Made me want to go crank up my 16.5 hp lawn tractor & yell "Hey, hippy chick! Here's how real women mow the lawn!"

Note to Self

Letting Sassy eat a tater tot that's fallen in the floor is a rilly bad idea...because they don't agree with her. At all. I'm really glad we bought those area rugs that you can take outside & hose off.

And no Steve, the tater tots weren't burnt.

Mike cooked supper.

Model Son

My son is such a goof...he called yesterday morning from Japan & serenaded me with a rousing rendition of "Back To School" (from the movie Billy Madison). And updated me on his progress with his latest project. He's been approached by a friend of a friend to audition for a modeling job on an upcoming TV tribute to the choreographer for Jet Li & Jackie Chan. He's gotten several similar offers before, being a handsome young lad, but always declined cuz he thinks runway modeling is, well, extremely silly. But he couldn't resist this...he's a big martial arts nut. Has a green belt in Tae-kwondo, or red or something....one or two levels below black belt, whatever that is.

So, we'll see....hasn't landed the job yet but I wouldn't be too surprised if he did. He's a natural. Maybe all those hours we spent goofing around at putt-putt courses posing like catalog models will pay off after all.

Figures

We just bought & installed Office XP Student version because I needed it at home for school, even though it's not upgradable and doesn't include Access, which I also needed...but the Professional version which includes Access was just too expensive. Today Microsoft announced that it's cutting the price of the Professional version by about $100.

Bloody hell. Now what do we do?

We're Back!

We've survived the Great NAC Server Hosing of '03...I don't have time to post anything substantive, but nice to know I could if I did.

Or something like that....you know what I mean.

One More Thing

Almost forgot, looks like community college is going to be a great source for blogging material. I got to hear a simply fascinating story yesterday from a lady about her mother-in-law's dogs that were in heat....I was sitting there thinking "Jeez, lady, TMI!" And then I saw this on all the computers' log-in screens:

Do not use nick names and do not use sir names [sic]

Damn! And I wanted to be know as "Sir Rita".

Back At It

The co-ed has survived...so far. The servers were screwed up in my computer class yesterday...wouldn't let anyone create a user name & password. The instructor was kind enough to let me leave early so I wouldn't be too late for my algebra class. Bad news is that I have to go in this morning and take the pre-test that I missed yesterday by leaving early. Good news is that the computer class is self-taught & doesn't actually meet, and all I have to do is email my homework & tests in by the deadlines. (I'll leave the subject of why I have to pay #$@@!#@!* $300+ to teach myself Office XP for another day.)

It was a good thing that I was only a few minutes late to algebra, because we hit the ground running with graphing & slope line intercept formulas. I was as lost as a goose for the first 30 minutes or so....it's been almost 25 years since I've done algebra at this level. It's starting to slowly come back...but it makes my brain hurt to retrieve information buried that deeply in my wittle head.

Now I have to go finish my homework and figure out how to use this new-fangled contraption called a "TI-83 Plus" graphing calculator. Kids got it so easy today...why, back in my day we had to graph equations by drawing lines in the dirt with a blunt stick....and we all had to share the same stick.

*ahem*

Damn Kids

Doesn't look like we'll be getting a check in the mail from this.

Damn kids...never around when you need one.

Thank You

Tucked away inside a post about missing his wedding anniversary, Lt. Smash has a beautiful piece about America and our freedom. Here's an excerpt, but be sure to go read the whole thing.

Our freedom comes with a price—someone has to stand up to the thugs and tyrants, those evil men whose only response to that which they cannot understand is violence and terror. We cannot afford to be complacent, nor can we rely on appeasement or diplomacy to solve all of our problems. When the time comes, someone has to be prepared to pick up a weapon and take the fight to the enemy. Wars are not won by going on the defensive.

This time it was my turn.

All I can say is "Thank You". We're very grateful that you did.

New Arkansas Traffic Law

A new traffic law has gone into affect in our fair state that requires motorists to change lanes when there's a cop working a traffic stop.

The new state law requires drivers to move to the farthest lane away from a law enforcement stopped on the shoulder of a multi-lane highway when his vehicle's lights are flashing.

Police stress this should only be done when it's safe to merge.

I've always done that as a matter of courtesy and common sense....who wants to increase your chances of hitting someone, especially a cop? But I'm always surprised at the numbers of drivers who don't, like the person we saw who got pulled over for this last night on I-540. It's gonna suck to be him (or her) when they go to traffic court.

"A hazardous moving violation , such as what you would similar to a speeding ticket or improper lane usage," says Staff Sgt. mike Foster with ASP.

Those found guilty of breaking this law could be given up to ninety days in jail or assessed a fine of anywhere from $35.00 to $500.00 or both.

Not to mention what it'll do to your insurance rates. Ouch!

Close, But No Cigar

Mo-Mo has almost admitted her missquote of Bush's "Al-Qaeda not a problem anymore"...sorta kinda in a way.

After the war, the triumphal administration bragged about its Iraqi, Taliban and Qaeda scalps, painting our enemies as being in retreat.

"Al Qaeda is on the run," the president said in Little Rock, Ark. "That group of terrorists who attacked our country is slowly, but surely, being decimated. Right now, about half of all the top Al Qaeda operatives are either jailed or dead. In either case, they're not a problem anymore."

She doesn't exactly admit that she was, shall we say WRONG, does she? But at least the entire quote is there, in context....I think. There may be a new day dawning at the NYTimes.

But Al Qaeda, it became horrifyingly clear a week later in Riyadh, was not decimated; it was sufficiently undecimated to murder 34 people, injure 200 and scare the daylights out of Americans everywhere.

Nah, probably not. That should read "scare the daylights out of Saudis everywhere".

Nothing new here, move along.

All Stressed Out...

....and no one to choke. My first day of classes today....Like, I am like, you know, so like totally stressed out to the max this morning. And as if there wasn't enough stress involved in starting at a new school after being out for 7 yrs., my intro to computers class is meeting at a special time for "orientation". Unfortunately, the retard that scheduled it failed to notice that the "special time", 11:30-12:45, conflicted with other classes...like my algebra class that's at 12:15-2:45, over a mile away, down a busy street, in another building at a "satellite location".

*sigh* I hope I don't get kicked out of school on the first day.

PC Experiment

This, via the Cracker Barrel Philosopher, is too funny.

Dear UNC-Wilmington Board of Trustees:

It has recently come to my attention that a feminist student at UNCW has taken offense to a sticker on my office door which reads "So you're a feminist . . . Isn't that cute." I found this out after obtaining a copy of a letter her father wrote to you, the Board of Trustees. I could comment at some length on the obvious hypocrisy of this student's decision to ask her father to defend feminism for her, but I won't. Let me get straight to the point: I did not put that sticker on my office door.

It's part of a free speech experiment by the professor in question....who appears to have a healthy sense of humor about it all.

But back to the issue of the offended parent. If you would like, I can have the non-feminist student who placed the allegedly anti-feminist sticker on my door contact the feminist student who took offense. She would be glad to claim responsibility. Or perhaps her daddy can call the feminist's daddy and work everything out.

I wish there were more like him.

Local Crime Reports

I love reading the daily crime reports in our local newspaper. It has to be fun to be a dispatcher around here, since people call the police for the strangest things. Here's some of the weekend calls:

--3:50 p.m. A man reported two brothers fighting over a Sony Playstation game

That's easy enough, ground them & send them to their rooms. It's the only way you'll get any playing time. Not that I've ever done that...ahem.

--7:09 a.m. An intoxicated man reported that a stripper complained of heart problems and needed an ambulance after a bachelor party

That must've been one helluva a party....or a really old stripper.

--9:05 p.m. A woman reported seeing a red pinpoint laser moving around outside her house

Just because you think everyone's out to get you doesn't mean they're not.

--8:57 p.m. A caller...reported two men fighting in the parking lot after one man had his knees in the back of the other’s seat during a movie.

That'd piss me off too.

--10:09 a.m. A man reported another man on the west side of the elementary school....wearing a yellow sheet and smoking.

He's a witch! Burn him! Burn him!

See what I mean?

Art or Crap?

Apparently I can't tell art from crap...probably because I thought it was all crap. See how you score. (Link via Fark)

It's Here

We have our first reported possible SARS case in Arkansas, a man here on business from Canada. And thanks to the new privacy laws, no information can be released regarding where or who he is.

That's just great.

Memorial Day Donation

There's been a fire at Kevin's base and many of the soldiers lost everything when some of their tents burned. He has a PayPal button for donations. (Link via Andrea)

Go help our guys out.

Bubs' Pics

Mike's posted some photos of Bubs taken Saturday morning. We'd been outside, watching him pull his sock monkey around in his big red wagon....until it started raining anyway. The first photo is Bubs trying to decide whether he should be afraid of the really loud thunder, the rest are just him enjoying being the center of attention....his very favorite thing.

New Magazine

A local photographer has started a new magazine, Get Out, also available online here. Be sure to check out the photographs (click on "The Nature Scene", no direct link available) from around the state...beautiful stuff. There's also an events calendar and other helpful tips if you're planning a visit.

Y'all come 'n see us now, ya hear.

Happy Birthday!

Go wish Mike a happy 50th birthday!

Why next thing you know we'll be blogging from our Winnebago as we travel cross-country....tying up traffic & causing accidents in 48 states.

Fee Cap Proposals

There have been proposals filed in 13 states to limit lawyers' fees in contingency cases.

The proposal would require the plaintiff's lawyer to send a letter to the defendant at the start of a case, describing the injury and why the defendant was liable for it. The defendant would not be required to make a settlement offer, and the plaintiff would not have to accept one. But if the defendant did make an offer and the plaintiff accepted it, his lawyer would be entitled to no more than 10 percent of the first $100,000 and 5 percent of anything more.

If plaintiffs' lawyers did not send the letter, their fees would be capped at those levels no matter how long or hard they worked on the case.

While this may encourage larger initial settlement offers, I don't see much encouragement for plaintiff's attorneys to recommend settlement. I think a far better approach is the one found in the Federal Tort Claims Act, which limits attorneys' fees to 20-25%, depending on the type of claim, and imposes a fine and/or a year in prison for attorneys who violate the limit.

Carrot AND stick, that's the better approach.

Uh...Huh?

Florida is considering downgrading the manatee from endangered to threatened. Conservationists are upset at the proposed change, even though it would not affect the manatee's Federal endangered species protection.

Last year, the state recorded 305 manatee deaths, about 10 percent of the current population. Of those, 95, were caused by boats. Natural causes claimed 59.

Uh, am I missing something here? I know I'm not very good at simple math, but what killed the other 151 manatees?

Cuz I'm thinking maybe there's the problem.

I'm So Sure

I've been installing Office XP on my laptop for school....and promptly got the Microsoft support virus email.

Concidence? I think not.

New Beginnings

--Mr. & Mrs. Bigwig had a bouncing baby boy & the birth was blogged.

--Scott & Ellen are preparing for the imminent arrival of their baby girl.

--Andrea just celebrated her 40th birthday.

--Mike's 50th birthday is tomorrow....woo-hoo!! Getting closer to that AARP discount! He's also passed his CISSP exam. Massive congratulations are in order.

--I return to the wonderful world of "higher" education Tuesday....Intro to Computer Information (Office XP) & College Algebra for the first summer semester. My excitement is underwhelming. I had to take algebra to get into programming classes later, and I couldn't talk my way out of the XP class since I use Word Perfect, not Word...and the last spreadsheet class I had was Lotus 1-2-3 back in the 80's when it was still DOS based. Grumble, grumble, bitch bitch. I was flipping through the book and noticed towards the end we will learn how to re-name files! How exciting. Won't be a total loss as there is some introduction to Excel & Access, which I've never used but will be taking classes on later. But still, I suspect I'll be bored silly through most of that class. And you know what they say...idle hands are the devil's workshop.

EEEEWWWW!

WHO says the likely source of China's SARS epidemic is civet cats, which they consider a delicacy. That is just gross. You ever smell a civet cat? Worse than a skunk, and twice as nasty....they're like a cross between a skunk and a ferret.

EEEEWWWW!!!

Ha!

I got 18 out of 19 on the Hardball Hot Seat quiz. Go give it your best shot.

(Link via Acidman, whose score I easily beat.)

Friday Five

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use? Crest, I think. I'd go look, but I'm too lazy.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer? The kind that doesn't chap my butt. Mike usually buys Charmin, blue label...I'm allergic to the red label Charmin (how weird is that?). And let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've had an allergic reaction down there. Not. Fun.

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear? Good Lord, I'm a female, I have 40 million pairs of shoes. My favorites are the Bjorns my sis bought me for Christmas a couple of years ago...very comfortable and they're lasting really well.

4. What brand of soda do you drink? Dr. Pepper mostly, occasionally Pepsi. I used to drink gallons of Mt. Dew, but it gives me heartburn these days.

5. What brand of gum do you chew? I don't....braces broke me of that habit....besides, I could never chew gum without looking like a cow chewing her cud. When I was little, I had an great-uncle that would offer to give me a stick of Juicy Fruit for doing the Twist. I usually held out for Fruit-Stripe gum, the one with the zebra. I thought the zebra was cool.

More Randomness

--Saw a sign today advertising "God's Antiques". That's some old stuff now isn't it? Next thing you know there'll be "God's Yard Sale". If God had a yard sale, what could you buy?

--I either got kicked in the short ribs by a large mule yesterday or I'm possibly getting pleurisy. Whichever it is, I'm going to bed for a while now that I'm out of court. I'm hoping the dogs will wash the dishes & vacuum while I'm down, but I'm not counting on it.

Random Thoughts

--Why does everyone make fun when a product says "New & Improved"? I mean, something can be new without being improved....Windoze ME springs to mind as an example.

--A typical conversation at our house:

Me: Honey, I've developed this severe pain in my back, about where the bottom of my lung is. I wonder if I'm getting pneumonia?

Mike: Nope, it's probably SARS.

Me: Really?

Mike: Yep, you're gonna die.

Me: Will I get to rest when I die? (It's been a very long week)

Mike: Yes honey you will.

Me: Will I still have to drive? (I've had to spend an inordinate amount of time on the road this week.)

Mike: No, dead women don't drive.

Me: Sweet!

A Much Needed Laugh

A very merry reader sent me these "Drugs For Women", giving me a much needed laugh at the end of a very long day.

Thanks, I needed that....now where can I buy a big bottle of the first one?

D a m I t o l:

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

S t M o m 's W o r t:

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E m p t y N e s t r o g e n:

Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P e p t o b i m b o:

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D u m e r o l:

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.

F l i p i t o r:

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

A n t i b o y o t i c s:

When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

M e n i c i l l i n:

Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

B u y a g r a:

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength Buy-One-all:

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J a c k A s s p i r i n:

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A n t i-t a l k s i d e n t:

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

R a g a m e t:

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and the trouble of doing it herself.

Nuclear Nightmares

Scott has a quite excellent post on why there will be no nuclear nightmares for his daughter like the ones we old fogies grew up with.

Go read.

When Pigs Fly

Paris officials have a campaign to encourage Parisians to be more welcoming and friendly to tourists. Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

"Our reputation for unfriendliness is unfortunate, but I am sure we can get better," says Jean-Luc Michaud, president of the Ile-de France Tourist Board. "Already, I think the process has begun with the World Cup in 1998, during which we showed the world a friendly face. Now we hope to change attitudes still further, so that Parisians will soon be known throughout the world for their friendliness." And pigs might offer aerial trips round the Eiffel Tower, so some would say.

"You'll be lucky," laughs the man on the Eurostar check-in desk, when I tell him I'm off to search for smiling Parisians. "Tell me if you find any."

I was fortunate enough to spend a long weekend in Paris in the summer of '93 and felt entirely welcome...to get the hell out. A more rude bunch of people I've never encountered in all my travels....well except for the time I tried to spend my British pounds in a Dublin bookstore. (Legal, but apparently not socially acceptable. Typically rude American, I offered to take my "tainted" money elsewhere.)

One memory of my Paris visit pretty much typifies Parisian attitudes towards outsiders. Caught in a sudden downpour, my companions & I sought shelter under the awnings of a deserted sidewalk cafe. When the waiter discovered we weren't interested in ordering anything, he drove us back out into the rain like the American dogs that we were, with much shouting & waving of his towel. Missed a sales opportunity there, bucky. Supercilious asshat.

At the busy Barbes-Rochechouart interchange, though, one man did stop to gaze at the three posters. "What does it mean?" he complained, waving a contemptuous and slightly squiffy arm. "You - The Welcome Is - Franiliens." "You're reading it in the wrong direction," I replied.

Again, that cold, Parisian stare, cutting through the warm, arm-pitty breeze of the station. "It is the direction in which I was walking, monsieur," he replied stiffly. "And with your permission, I shall read it the way I like. After all, this is my city, not yours."

And you can have it. Just stop whining because your tourist numbers are dropping.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

You will all be thrilled to know that I am the #1 result in the Yahoo search for "Lovely Rita".

I hate that song.

Hmmm.....

Didja ever wonder if sometimes God doesn't just look down at someone and go "Ya know, there's just something about you that pisses me off."

*THWACK*

Bleh

Mike's sick & stayed home from work...I'm not feeling too perky myself. Been a yucky morning all around, rainy, chilly, and Cox Cable has the cable channels all screwed up thanks to their new & improved digital service that started this morning. Buncha idjits.

Now I have to go to Jay for status conferences. God help the caseworker that looks at me cross-eyed this afternoon.

Cleaning Tip

I hate housecleaning with a passion. My idea of dusting is to run the vacuum cleaner attachment hose over the tv screen & the top of the useless coffee table....until Mike decided to try these: Swiffer dusters. Pretty handy little things, and they actually trap most of the dust instead of moving it around. And when they get all dirty & yucky, throw 'em in the trash & get a clean one. A lazy housekeeper's dream.

Work smarter, not harder I always say.

Local News

--It's raining again. But I got the lawn mowed yesterday so I don't care. Ha!

--Locals are being asked to submit photos to the casting company for Billy Bob Thornton's movie "Chrystal", which will be shot in Eureka Springs, Fayetteville, and around. They're looking for ""Rural-looking townsfolk," children of all ages, families, 3- or 4-year-old twin boys, 9-month-old twins, a 6-year-old rural girl, folk musicians, rural teenage boys and stand-ins" so dust off your best overalls and go get discovered.

--3 fellas argued about the Iraq war; one shot & killed the pro-war, pro-Bush fella. My daddy always did say there were two things you just didn't discuss, politics and religion. Guess this is why.

--Fella in North Little Rock was upset because he was going to have to buy a new tire instead of repairing the old one, so he shot & wounded a tire shop employee. Guess he won't be needing new tires where he'll be going now.

--Finally, a Fayetteville woman reported "three people and a dog on her roof. She suspects a certain man and "the girl that runs around with him that has no teeth."" That certainly narrows the suspect pool, doesn't it?

Moving Away?

Clubbeaux says he's packing up & moving...to Antayla, Turkey. To run a coffeeshop.

I can't tell whether he's serious or not.

Kinds of Friends

You need both kinds really.

What??? Nooooo!

Ari Fleischer is resigning.

Say it ain't so, Ari, say it ain't so. Now who'll torment the old hag Helen?

Wouldja Like to Take a Survey?

Michelle's doing a poll of sorts on male/female political blogging. Go tell her what you think.

Personally, I don't care if a blogger is male, female or something in between....I look for well-informed commentary and the ability to have an intelligent discussion on controversial topics.

That ain't asking too much, is it?

Best Laid Plans

Well our vacation plans for next weekend just went up in flames. We were going to visit my former stepdaughter, but she has to work. She's an ICU R.N., so it's not like she can just take off whenever she wants. I'm looking around for alternatives, but flying right now is probably out of the question. (I'm sick again, thanks to the multiple visits to the pediatrician with Bubs. Damn kids & their viruses!)

So we may just have to stay home & work on getting the spare bedroom cleared out & fit for human habitation again. Looks like not a very fun birthday for Mike next Monday.

I can see it now. "Happy birthday, sweetheart! Now go clean your room."

Outrageous Waste

WTF? The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development spent more than $137,000 to find out about old men having sex. This is the same group that spent $150,000 last year to see what kind of pr0n women found exciting. That may sound like small change to you, but either amount would've provided salaries for about 3 social workers or children's attorneys, or a plethora of preventative and/or rehabilitative services for children.

A House panel wants the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) to explain "how this provocative data about aging men's sexual fantasies and activities will benefit hapless children afflicted with pediatric diseases."

In a letter to HHS Secretary Tommy G. Thompson, a subcommittee of the House Government Reform Committee has asked NICHD how much money the study will get, as well as "a full listing of all grant applications that address children's health and pediatric disorders that were rejected during the period that this grant was funded."

I'd like to know that information also. The NICHD might take notice that there's a new administration that is not amused by such inappropriate use of federal funding....and remember that they are an agency for children's health, not dirty old men.

Asshats.

UPDATE: Rodger sez he could've answered their questions for half price.

Dog Fight

Just had a little excitement....I was taking the dogs out after dinner, look up & see a large white dog charging us out of the neighbor's yard. Sassy was on lease on the run, I had Sollie on leash. Dragged him inside, yelled at Mike & went back to break up the dog fight with a toy plastic rake. Yeah, yeah, I grabbed the first thing I could find. Wacked the strange dog with the rake, end of fight.

I look up & Mike has a post driver in hand headed for the dog. I get him to control Sassy & get her back inside, I catch the big white dog, which we later figure out is a Great Pyranees, and lead it out of our yard. It follows me back. It likes me. It wants to come inside with me. It thinks in fact it may even lurve me. It's still out there.

We're gonna have to call Animal Control. So much for our quiet evening at home.

Spring Cleaning

Seems as if everyone is doing a little spring cleaning...first Matt goes essential, now Adam has a very nice complete redesign in progress.

Almost makes me want to start mucking about with mine again....nah, better leave well enough alone.

Happy First

Go wish Da Goddess a happy first blogiversary...and de-link her two or three times while you're at it. She loves that.

Now Run, Sucker

There's some sort of race being run by our house this morning....just saw a long string of runners trotting by on the street. That always brings out the evil in me. I'm sorely tempted to turn the dogs loose to see if there's any of the participants who've really "hit the wall." A little added incentive, if you will.

Now _that_ would be an interesting race.

Take a Hint

Mike & I decided to run by Hooter's last night for supper since we were in the vicinity running errands and got one of those waitresses. You know, the ones who take the part about chatting with the customers a bit too seriously. For example, we were watching a women's college fast pitch softball game while waiting for our food, which lead to an interesting conversation about how we each had a grandfather who pitched baseball semi-professionally. (Mike's burnt his arm out in the minors, mine got drafted by the Cardinals but my grandmother wouldn't let him go. I saw him pitch a few once when I was a teen, he was in his late 50's/early 60's. He still had plenty of pepper on his pitches...struck out a couple of young bucks that had wanted to try him out.). Up pops our waitress, interrupts Mike mid-sentence and starts trying to chat about something totally inane & unrrelated. This happened more than once throughout the evening.

Annoying. We both try not to be rude to service people, unless they're just really bad, but it took multiple unresponsive answers before she took the hint & left us alone. Nice kid, just a little overeager to hustle a good tip. She just needed to be a little quicker to pick up on the hint that we'd rather talk to each other.

Or as Mike put it, "Take the hint bitch. Your money's on the dresser, do I have to call you a cab?"

Test Day

Mike just left to go sit for his 6 hour CISSP exam. He was a little nervous, but not too bad. I'm confident he'll do fine, he's so smart & actually has even studied pretty hard for this.

He's excited about the possibility of finally getting certified and having letters after his name...though he said he'd been certifiable before, and had almost had numbers instead of a name a couple of times.

I just reminded him that this would look much better on his resume.

Casablanca Bombings

There have been 4 explosions in Casablanca...casualities reported.

Round up the usual suspects.

Time Out

Bubs got put in time-out this morning...first time I've ever had to do that. He decided he didn't want the bacon & eggs & fruit cup I fixed him for breakfast & tried to throw the plate off the table (I managed to catch it, all that fielding practice when my kids were in sports paid off)....followed by his coloring books & anything else he could find. I scolded him & started picking things up & he slugged me repeatedly, yelling No! No!

Now there's one inviolate rule at our house: No hitting allowed for any reason, so away from the table he was taken to sit in the living room for a few minutes by himself until he canned the attitude. Which he did, but still wouldn't eat his breakfast. We compromised with cheese crackers & juice (it was after all 11 am before he woke up), watched the mockingbirds chase the cat out of the yard and he was back to his sweet normal self in a bit.

We even managed to work on our tango before we had to leave.

Bad Stuff

Just got back from a horrendous drive home from taking Bubs to the doctor at Alma. He's doing fine, spending a few days with his mom. But, the tornado sirens started going off after we left the dr.'s office, and were still going strong when we dropped him at his mom's. We were in my daughter's car, she made me drive home since it looked like we would hit the storm about dead center when we were crossing over the mountain. And we did. No tornadies spotted, but a mighty impressive wall cloud, and rain like a cow peeing on a flat rock. I could only see maybe 10 ft. in front of the car. Very nerve-racking.

We finally make it through that, get back to Fayetteville...where the tornado sirens are going also...another wall cloud. We were a bit in front of it, and made it home ok. It pretty much dissipated before it got into town, but we were sweating it there for a few minutes.

Nothing like a little stormy weather to get your heartrate up on a Friday afternoon.

Moving Up

I am now officially a Slithering Reptile. Woo-hoo!

So do I get to pick which kind of reptile I am? Cuz if I do, I want to be this:

Fish all night, sleep all day...aggressive if disturbed and highly venomous.

That's the life!

Yay!

Kevin Parrott has made the move to MT. Update your links! (Thanks to Andrea for the heads-up)

Friday Five

1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.? I prefer the spring water out of the tap at my parents full of all those tasty bacteria. We use a purifier here, since the lake that's our water supply is prone to inversions & can taste a little funky at times. But it's perfectly safe to drink...or so they keep telling us.

2. What are your favourite flavor of chips? Don't really have one. Since I had braces for so many years, I got out of the habit of eating chips and sorta lost my taste for them...except chocolate chips of course.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most? Carrot cake. And biscuits. Oh yeah, and fried chicken.

4. How do you have your eggs? Over hard & break 'em. Occasionally scrambled. Deviled is good too.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out? We ate at the Olive Garden for the first time the other night. The spaghetti wasn't drained well enough, and they should've used a better grade of extra-virgin olive oil to stand up to the boldness of the sauce. I've made better. Service was good though.

Brief Mention

Steve's got a couple of good ones...one on the Saudi bombings and another on Jayson Blair mess. Steve's a great writer, and if he's not one of your daily reads you're just silly.

Da Goddess has gathered compelling evidence that Zander doesn't exist. If she's right, and it certainly looks like she is, whomever ran this scam should be ashamed....and run out of town on a rail.

Great stuff. Go enjoy.

Squalling

Had a nasty little squall line move through this morning...straight line winds 55-60 mph, lightning, heavy rain. My daughter (who lives across town) called me when it first hit to see if it was a tornado. Why she didn't take cover first & call later is beyond me, but she's kinda goofy like that. It was storming, she was scared and wanted her mommy.

But it's moved through now, and we still have power, so it wasn't too bad...just had to pick up the recycling bin that sits on the porch & all its contents that were all over the yard.

Not bad at all considering.

UPDATE: Matt says it got pretty nasty at their house and that most of Benton Co. (where Mike works) is without power. His last day of CISSP class should be interesting then.

Court Follies

This post by Adam (Scroll down to "Pimpin' In the Rock". You know why.) reminds me of some of the great stories from my sis (a district court clerk) about some of the defendents she's seen. [Short explanation: in Arkansas, district courts do primarily traffic tickets, misdemeanors and small claims.] Like the guy who showed up for a DUI ticket so drunk that he passed out in the back while waiting for his case to be called....the bailiff couldn't wake him up for quite a while. When he did come to, he was found in contempt of court & sent directly to jail to sober up.

My favorite so far was the little old man who showed up on charges stemming from an altercation with his neighbor in which shots were fired. The little old man, who looked like a white-haired Yosemite Sam, quietly explained to the judge what had happened during the altercation, started by the neighbor. Eventually, it became quite heated, he said, and the neighbor had threatened him & was starting towards him. So, he said he pulled out his pistol & fired a warning shot between the neighbor's feet. At that point, he calmly continued, the neighbor had shat his pants & left to go clean himself up, so he thought he should go to the sheriff's office & turn himself in, which he did, and so here he was. Everyone in the courtroom completely lost it, except the judge of course. I think he got fined and told to stop fussing with his neighbor.

It's a laugh a minute there....more like Night Court than LA Law I keep trying to get her to write a book.

New Design

Matt has re-designed his site. I like it....his existential use of white space speaks of the futility of an empty life as a blog. And the use of minimalist generic titles denotes the despair of attracting attention among the millions of bloggers' voices crying out to be heard in the cacophony of the Blogosphere....so many voices that they blur into meaningless background noise....404! 404!

Plus, hit's right real easy to read, hit is.

Commercial Themes

You know, that whole Ramones commercial thing is still bugging me. I mean, the song AT&T used wasn't even appropriate..."Hey ho, let's go, shoot 'em in the back now"?? What were the ad guys thinking?

Which got me thinking about what would've been an appropriate Ramones song for various products. I figure Bop Til You Drop would've suited AT&T better.

Stick 'em up
Give me your money
You act like a big shot
But you're really a dummy
They want your blood
They want every drop.

Or how about We're a Happy Family for Microsoft? Heh heh.

So today's game, if you wanna play, is to match songs by The Ramones with commercial products and/or companies. Knock yourselves out.

Badger News

James has an interesting fact-filled post about evil badgers and them weinie dogs what can go drag 'em outta their dens. Nasty little creatures, badgers. Mike had one here that took up residence underneath our storage building several years ago (before I moved in)....pretty much terrorized the neighborhood until one of the neighbors brought his pair of dachshunds over to take care of the problem. Which they did in fairly short order, though Mike says it was quite the bloody battle.

James is correct....the only good thing about badgers is they make great shaving brushes.

Pffftt!

Well that didn't work out did it? At one point this afternoon, I was on one phone with a work-related call; 2nd phone is ringing with Mike, who's out of class early & needs a ride home; 3rd phone is ringing with my daughter, who's finished working & wants me to bring Bubs over to spend the night...and Bubs is crying because all the phones ringing woke him from his nap. #@$@#$$##$@#! My text messaging started going off & Bubs needed a diaper change.

And then things got hectic.

I. Am. Soooo. Tired. Tomorrow will be better. I hope.

Whew!

What a day! Among other things, we've been at the wound care specialist with Bubs this morning...an appointment that should've taken 30 mins. or so lasted over 2 freaking hours. He's having some problems with a couple of the worst wounds not healing properly, so change of treatment was in order. It's not going to be pleasant for any of us, especially him, but the new doctor seemed to think it would do the trick.

He's napping now, so I'm hoping to get in a little posting this afternoon just as soon as I take care of some work stuff that came up while I was out.

At least I'm hoping it works out that way.

Instigator!

I'm pressed for time this morning, busy day ahead, but had to mention a great post by Clubbeaux on the various translations of the Bible and their accuracy. This all came out of his gracious response to a question I had in response to a statement in his earlier comments to a non-related post here about the King James version's deliberate mistranslation of "witch" instead of "poisoner" (The infamous "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" verse).

Interesting stuff.

That's Just So Wrong

NOOOOOO!

I just heard the Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop" as background music for an AT&T commercial. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to cry myself to sleep.

Hey ho my ass.

Childhood Dreams

While responding to the world's nicest email from a fellow blogger (and if you're not reading him everyday, then get yourself on over there right now. What's wrong with you?), I started thinking about how one of my childhood dreams was to visit each of the 50 states and to travel to all these different foreign countries. Mighty big dreams for a freckle-faced pigtailed little hillbilly girl, but I've always been very curious about the world and all the people in it.

I've managed over the years to put a fairly decent dent in my list of places I want to see. I've been to Mexico, England, Ireland, France and Italy...also Washington, California, Nevada, Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Mississippi, Florida, New York and Washington DC.

And my family moved to Washington one season to pick apples, so I've also been in Kansas, Nebraska, Wyoming, Idaho, Washington and I think Oregon...I don't count most of those because I was only 3 and don't really remember the drive out...for which my older sister says I should be eternally grateful. I do remember the orchards there, my great-grandmother's house, and a trip to Mount Rainer State Park vividly though. I drove my mother nuts because I was too little to see over the retaining wall into the valley below...so I kept climbing up on top of it so I could see the pretty flowers in the meadow hundreds of feet beneath me.

Traveling and seeing the world is more fun than I ever imagined back on those sultry summer nights under the stars years ago. I'm so lucky to have been able to make one of my dreams come true. There are others, but that's one of my favorites.

So now it's your turn to tell. What are some of your childhood dreams that came true?

Tell Him How You Like It

On a lighter note, Rodger's asking for input as to what kind of pictures of naughty bits women like. So go tell him.

Personally, I find that kind of thing pretty boring. The only thoughts I have when viewing a picture of a tall handsome hunk o'man is "wow, he could clean the ceiling fan AND the top of the bookcase without any problem" and "I wonder if he does windows?"

C'mon big boy, fulfill my fantasy...clean my house.

For Women Only

Dean is requesting opinions here and here re whether women should be allowed to serve in combat. Personally I think they should if they wanna, as long as they meet the same physical qualifications as required for men. Now he's got a whole truckload of what if's, but if you think about it, they don't amount to much.

First, there's the issue of what my mother would call "female problems". Well, what about it? Women have been dealing with that quite successfully for eons without the benefit of the various winged delicately scented super-maxi paraphenalia. There's all kinds of readily available alternative solutions, even if they might leave one a bit less than sunshine fresh....and there's even that reusable cup thing I read about somewhere. No big deal. (And don't get all ookie about it, it's a natural bodily function just like a runny nose or farting at the breakfast table. Bodies are messy things. Deal with it.)

Then there's the related PMS/pregnancy thing. Again, non-issue. You might be surprised to learn there's been amazing advances in birth control...shots that last for months, even the implant thing that lasts for 5 years. (Modern birth control, it's not just ribbon-bedecked sheepgut condoms anymore.) These also lessen the severity of PMS symptoms for those women who have it. Besides, who's gonna be more effective storming a machine gun emplacement? Some guy? Or a PMS-ing chick with a gun who's just been told it contains Midol & chocolate and that the soldiers inside said she couldn't take 'em out and get it because she's just a girl? Puh-lease.

What about rape? Well, bad things happen in war. Guys can be raped just like girls. And frankly, I suspect women can deal with that much better than men because we live every minute of every day knowing it could happen anywhere, anytime. A legitimate issue, but one that can be mitigated by proper training.

Which leads to the next objection, male soldiers neglecting their duties to "protect" female soldiers. First, this is terribly insulting to the professionalism of today's soldiers. Second, this is not innate behavior, it's learned. And if it's learned, it can be unlearned. Isn't that what boot camp is all about?

There's also the "what if" only 2% of women could meet the physical requirements for a certain job? And your point is?? I don't know the exact percentages, but I'm fairly certain most men don't meet the physical qualifications to be a Navy SEAL, for example. They are still allowed to do other jobs for which they are qualified. Why should women be treated any differently?

Finally, there's the whole sex between soldiers thing....legitimate issue anytime women & men are working together. Again, training can address this to a certain extent, as well as rules & regulations prohibiting it. Besides, I'm thinking if I were pinned down in a foxhole with a male soldier during a firefight, sex would probably be the last thing on my mind.

Women should be allowed to volunteer for combat positions if they want. After all, if you look at a little history, women have been fighting along side men since time began.

Ain't nuthin' new under the sun.

In Trouble Again

You know how no good deed goes unpunished? My daughter stopped by this afternoon & took my car for a good cleaning (my Mother's Day present). And like the good daughter that she is, left me her car just in case....good thing she did too because Mike's car broke down on his way home from work and I had to go pick him up.

On our way home, a passing car kicked up a gravel which pinged her windshield. She doesn't know it yet, but she now has a star-shaped crack in the windshield of her (almost) new car.

She is going to kill me.

France Wants UN Conditions

Aw, shaddup.

Mtn. Dew Curse

Saw the new LiveWire Mtn. Dew flavor in the stores this weekend and grumbled to Mike "Great, how long before the new virus hits like it did with Code Red?" Enter the new Fizzer virus today.

Bloody hell. When's Mtn. Dew going to take the hint & stop jacking around with its flavors?

They're cursed, I tell you, cursed.

Parents Choice

You may think it sounds weird coming from me, but there are times when governmental intervention to force medical treatment for a child is simply inappropriate....like in this case. I've been involved with kids on both sides of this issue...medical neglect cases are nothing new to me. And I've known personally two little girls who died in their early teens from muscular dystrophy. Their parents took diametrically opposing approaches. One had just about every treatment and surgery medicine could offer. She wanted to be as normal as possible, and her parents did what that could to make that happen....and because there was the small chance she would live longer.

The other, a very shy little girl who hated doctors & hospitals, did not. She just wanted to stay home with her family....and so that's what her parents did as much as possible. She was so unhappy while in the hospital that it outweighed any short term benefit any procedure had to offer.

Which set of parents were right? They both were. Both girls had happy lives, as short as they were. Their parents made the right decisions based on each girl's personality and wishes...as well they should. But the one set of parents lived in perpetual fear that some well-meaning governmental agency would step in and take that choice away....which would instantly make their daughter's life a living hell. Thankfully, that didn't happen, but it easily could've.

Sometimes, parents must make difficult choices about their child's care, and the state should not intervene. A child is not being abused simply because its parents don't want it to suffer through risky, experimental treatment that may or may not help.

If it were your child, wouldn't you want to retain that choice?

Weird-iversary

This post by Michelle just reminded me that today would've been my first husband's & my 25th wedding anniversary if we'd lasted longer than the not-quite-five years that we did.

Just think, if we hadn't gotten divorced, I would've probably been eligible for parole right about now.

Progress

Just have a few minutes, have to take Bubs to the doctor first thing this morning. He may get some of his stitches out today. He is doing very well, but doesn't leave me much free time for posting between wound care, playing, cleaning up and such. But he is going to spend today & tomorrow visiting his mom, so there should be more regular posting later today.

Yesterday, we took him outside for a wagon ride while Mike was doing some yard work. Next thing we know, he's bailed out of the wagon & is not hobbling, but running all over the yard. Obviously no damage to his Achilles tendon, which was a relief. The deep abrasion on his calf has almost completely healed, and the really deep cut on his heel is healing well too. The only yucky one now is the half dollar sized chunk that is missing from his upper left thigh....it's slowly filling in though so I think it'll be fine.

His verbal skills have improved dramatically. He's chattering non-stop now...we were having dinner last night, and he was asking me so many questions I could barely eat. He has a Sesame Street placemat, and yes, there's a firetruck, and yes Grover's wearing a hat and yes there's a number 1 on his hat, and on and on and on. And Mike has inadvertently taught him to say "Stern talking-to", so now all his toys get a finger shake and a "stern talking-to" when they don't do what he wants. He got his own stern talking-to last night when he was bathing & kept squirting Sollie with water....which was of course missing Sollie completely & drenching the bathroom floor.

One of the words I've taught him is "mess", as in "you are making a mess!" He will proudly say "Mess! Me!" and pat himself on the chest.

I always agree with him. He is a mess....but a very sweet one.

Judicial Appointments Suggestion

An interesting suggestion for solving the judicial appointments impasse: Article II, Section 2 of the Constitution, which gives the President the power to "fill as necessary all judicial vacancies during a Senate recess."

Man, that'd put Daschle's knickers in a knot, wouldn't it? And it's not without precedent. Teddy Roosevelt used it to appoint the first black Collector of Customs. Even Clinton used it to protect the appointment of Bill Lann Lee.

First sensible suggestion I've seen....and Estrada & Owen are the perfect candidates for such appointments. The President should sign the orders appointing, turn to Daschle before the ink can dry & say "You want some more of this, or do you want to do your damn job?"

Speechless

It speaks for itself.

I've been reading about this over the last few days...seems to me everyone's gotten sidetracked from the real issue....not citing your sources is, IMO, a very bad thing.

Aargh!

After reading the umpteenth book aloud last night, my throat started getting really scratchy....now I have the worst sore throat today, really annoying. We've all been sneezing & snotting for the last couple of days too.

Mike keeps saying it's SARS.

Aw Hail

Big hailstorm headed our way...got the lawn mowed & the weekly shopping done just in time. Looks like it should go just a bit to the south of us, but I've moved both cars under the carport just in case.

Matt and Vicky, better take cover...hope it doesn't hit your garden.

If it beats down my 'maters and ruins our plum crop, I'm gonna be pissed.

Antartic Fly Fossil

Geologists have found fossils of fly larvae in Antartica....which has led to new speculation about climate changes over the years.

And perhaps there is more to be learned about global warming from some of these ancient clues, according to [research entomologist] Thompson.

"We have to look at the models more closely: Obviously it wasn't greenhouse gases warming Antarctica 15 million years ago," he said. "Some other variables, other than human variables, caused [it]."

And it isn't greenhouse gases doing it now.

Today's Friday Five

1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not? Sorta. I'm a piler...I have piles of stuff here and there, looks really messy but I usually know where things are. I usually only lose things when I deviate from my piling system.

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly? I live by my calendar, which I almost always have with me. I would never remember where I'm supposed to be without it.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now? As much as it ever is, though there's a bit of mail left from a few days ago that hasn't made it to the shredder yet. When I had a secretary, I had the most terrible time making her leave the stuff on my desk alone...she'd move it around in order to put messages or memos on my desk. I finally convinced her to leave whatever it was in my chair, and to NOT TOUCH FREAKING ANYTHING on my desk. These days I just have to keep the cat from barfing on it, which is much simpler.

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter? It doesn't matter. I usually arrange stuff like that by subject, more or less.

5. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to organize? A retail store stockroom. It took over a week to re-arrange things by department so we could actually find stock when we needed it. It was a huge mess.

Demons Go Bye-Bye

The demon that has been possessing Bubs has gone away so far this morning, and he's back to his more normally cheerful self. He spent the night at my daughter's last night, and I met them this morning to make a trip to the community college to get her grades for last semester (she passed Yay!) and he was flirting like mad with every girl he saw. He even did pretty well remembering to use his "indoor voice" because the school was a "quiet place" (we've been working on that one) and sat contently finding numbers & letters on the college brochures while we waited for my daughter to register for next semester.

Unlike earlier in the week, when my hollow-eyed, exhausted daughter brought him back from an overnight stay, plopped him in my lap and stated "This child is the devil." Coming from his favorite aunt, that's pretty bad. I have to admit there have been times this week I felt like touching him on the forehead with the heel of my hand & shouting "Begone demons of crankiness!"'

If I had thought there had been the slightest chance that would work, I would have.

Interesting Life

Just when I thought my life couldn't get more interesting, I got a phone call yesterday from the head of the state office that oversees attorney ad litems like me. It seems the new ad litem that was just hired in an adjacent county isn't working out too well and is seriously considering quitting. If so, would I be interested in the position?

Let's see. A position in my specialty at a decent salary with full state benefits, working with a judge that has a good reputation. Well, duh, that's pretty much a no-brainer. If I had know the position was open, I would've freaking hand delivered my resume on a silver platter...and worn a dress AND pantyhose to do it.

The department head said that she was pretty sure that the person would end up staying, but wanted to contact me just in case. Seems she remembered me from our conversations when I was getting certified here as an ad litem, and has kept me on her "list" of potential job candidates. And if this job doesn't work out, she's keeping me in mind for anything else that might come open.

Nice to know I'm on a good list for a change. Regardless, I'm still going to buy my books for the upcoming summer semester this morning. "Put not your trust in princes" and all that. But would I drop out of school to take the job if it came open?

Hell yeah.

Congratulations!

Steve got a well-deserved plug in today's Lileks Bleat (Look for the 11:11 AM entry about half-way down)

I'm happy to see he's finally getting the attention he deserves.

NK Smokescreen?

We have satellite photos showing smoke coming from a North Korean nuclear facility, a possible sign that nuclear rod reprocessing is underway....though there's no other signs that such activity is actually taking place.

The official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said other signs of nuclear activity, such as traces of chemicals used in reprocessing or heat signatures, had not been detected from the Yongbyon nuclear complex. He said the smoke was coming from radiation and chemical laboratories in the facility.

However, U.S. and South Korean officials said they could not verify the claim and suggested North Korea may be bluffing in an attempt to increase its leverage in talks with the United States about its reported nuclear weapons programs.

The dangerous thing about playing such high stakes poker with a madman is the difficulty in telling if he's bluffing. I think Kim is, but what if he's not? What if he's even nuttier than he appears?

Pretty scary.

New Baghdad Bob?

Is George Galloway the next Baghdad Bob? In light of his vociferous denials in the face of increasing documentations to the contrary, perhaps. So far he hasn't shown quite the same verbal flair....unlike an unknown Parlimentary backbencher.

It was only natural that, when Prime Minister Tony Blair paused during a parliamentary debate to consider the question of who would formally surrender on Iraq's behalf, an anonymous voice from the back benches rang out: "George Galloway."

For the right price, I'm sure he would.

Double Agent Dems?

John Podhoretz speculates in this morning's Post that some key Democrats are secretly working for the Republicans because no one could be that stupid. I think he's wrong for a couple of reasons. A) Yes they can, and B) to attribute the Dems stumbles to cupidity underestimates the superb abilities of Karl Rove, et al, to use the Dems own statements to bite them in the ass. (One of my favorite fun trial tactics, though I'll never be in Karl's league.)

Case in point, the President's recent landing on an aircraft carrier. Publicity stunt, sure....but an extremely cool one, a point the Dems totally missed.

[Sen.] Byrd went to the well of the Senate to denounce the president's "showmanship" and the lack of "dignity" he showed. And he said the president had no business wearing a flight jacket: "I do question the motives of a deskbound president who assumes the garb of a warrior for the purposes of a speech."

Sorry, Senator, but "lack of dignity" is getting blow jobs while conducting business in the Oval Office...and then there was that whole impeachment thing.

Next, Double Agent Rep. Henry Waxman, who stated flatly that "this was a deliberate and intentional use of the military for campaign purposes. Of course, the president should greet the troops. The question is misusing the Navy and Air Force and taxpayer dollars to kick off a re-election campaign."

Oh please. What presidential candidate hasn't done that? His knickers are just in a knot because unlike Dukakis, Bush actually looked like he belonged in the flight suit. And let's not even get into "Vietnam" Kerry and "Heroic Typist" Gore.

Their comments only serve to illustrate the Dems' opinion of the average American person....stupid & gullible. Of course we recognize that it was primarily a publicity stunt. Duh. But, I think, the average person expects a certain amount of showmanship from a presidential candidate. (See, e.g., Huey Long) And this was a cool stunt. Who among us wouldn't want to have the cajones to land a jet on an aircraft carrier?

More importantly, I think the Dems are missing that in our post 9/11 world, we are looking for heroes. Our nation was, and continues to be, under attack. We want Audie Murphy, not Neville Chamberlain.

The world has changed....and if the Dems don't soon recognize that, they will be relegated to the dustbins of history.

Sssshhh!

We're enjoying a child-free night....be vewy qwuiet.

Though once we finish dinner, I suspect a freight train could run through the house without waking us.

Interesting

Our own Senator Blanche Lincoln will have a fundraiser this summer featuring a concert by the Dixie Chicks. The concert was booked before the infamous "Natalie's ashamed" remarks, but will not be cancelled.

Lincoln's office says the senator does not agree with what the group said but does support free speech.

Those girls are staying awfully busy for people who are being repressed.

Just Great

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

So I'd rather be celibate than give up good tasting food, so what. (Link via the more virtuous Kehaar)

Bennett

I don't get all the controversy over William Bennett....in large part I suspect because I'm not familiar with his work. The gist of the matter seems to be that he promotes morality and as it has now been revealed, has a gambling problem. So what's the big deal? An icon has clay feet? So what, don't they all?

If the standard is that one must be perfect in order to speak or write about man's fallen nature -- or about societal weaknesses --then we would have no laws or morals at all, because "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23), including those who write the laws to control us. Every word in Scripture came from the pen of a man who had sinned. It is not how far short of the standard anyone has fallen, but whence comes the standard itself.

After all, who knows more about the sin than the sinner?

Stormy Again

The big bad storms were pretty much a no-show at our house...though there are tornadies popping up all over to the south of us. Here, we just had a little wind, a little rain, a little lightning...no big deal.

So far, so good.

Too True

Which OS are You?

I have been known to blue screen when trying to do too many things at once....but at least I wasn't ME. (Link via the intelligent Aaron)

MOATT

At 3 am I hear the wailing of the "Ma" siren, so I stumble down the hallway to confront the Mother Of All Temper Tantrums. He does not want to sleep, even though he can barely keep his eyes open. No, he wants milk....NO! Juice....NO! Door....NO! light. Pick me up. No, don't touch me. I want to play. I don't like the way the dogs are looking at me. Rock me. No, don't rock me. Lie down with me. Stop touching my bed. (All of these statements are delivered at about the same decibel level as say, a jet plane take off. In other words, ear-splitting.)

This lasted about an hour. Now, part of the problem is that I think he's plenty old enough at 26 months to be sleeping by himself. His mother doesn't. I believe that if he doesn't learn to sleep by himself, he will eventually be a 50 yr. old bachelor, eating microwave dinners in front of the tv with his mommy, while watching wrestling....in a trailer park somewhere. Teaching a child to be safely independent is very important, I think. So that's what we're working on, he and I, at 3 am. It is not, shall we say, his favorite game...hence the temper tantrum.

Temper tantrums are fairly predictible with him...his are much like his dad's were. The most effective way to deal with what my dad calls "them