Res Ipsa Loquitur

What Dreams May Come

Night before last, I dreamt a solution to a widespread programming problem. I woke Mike up & excitedly described the solution to him. He agreed that it would definitely revolutionize the computer industry, and I ran to write down my solution before going back to sleep.

The next morning I awoke and when I couldn't find where I'd written all this down I realized....that part was a dream too. And not only could I not remember my grand solution, I couldn't even remember what problem it solved.

Dang it, I hate it when that happens. Mike laughed at me and said it meant I'd been assimilated into the geek world....apparently this happens to him all the time.

No, I'm not stressed about my programming exam today at all, which begins in a short 1 hr., 25 mins. Not. At. All.

Ok, maybe just a little.

Frog Slobber

I love this photo. It epitomizes what it means to be a Southern lady. One must never succumb to the urge to throw a right cross in public.

Fortunately I'm no lady.

Heh.

The Scandal That Wasn't

As I'm sure you've all heard by now, allegations have been flying since the weekend that certain unknown persons in the Bush administration "outed" the CIA operative wife of former Ambassador James C. Wilson. I haven't posted about it because a)I've been busy, and b) something about it just didn't smell right....a whole lot of smoke and mirrors, but very little substantive evidence for one. Two, I didn't see the motivation for anyone in the Bush administration besides petty vendictiveness....and that's more the Clintons' style. Bush's M.O. seems to me to be more give to someone enough rope to hang themselves with, then producing the evidence to do so.

This afternoon, Michele pointed to an quote by Novak, the news reporter that started this whole thing, on the Drudge Report that clears things up a bit.

'Nobody in the Bush administration called me to leak this. In July I was interviewing a senior administration official on Ambassador Wilson's report when he told me the trip was inspired by his wife, a CIA employee working on weapons of mass destruction. Another senior official told me the same thing. As a professional journalist with 46 years experience in Washington I do not reveal confidential sources. When I called the CIA in July to confirm Mrs. Wilson's involvement in the mission for her husband -- he is a former Clinton administration official -- they asked me not to use her name, but never indicated it would endanger her or anybody else. According to a confidential source at the CIA, Mrs. Wilson was an analyst, not a spy, not a covert operator, and not in charge of undercover operatives'...

And as Clifford D. May points out, it really wasn't much of a secret that Wilson's wife worked at the CIA.

That wasn't news to me. I had been told that — but not by anyone working in the White House. Rather, I learned it from someone who formerly worked in the government and he mentioned it in an offhand manner, leading me to infer it was something that insiders were well aware of.

He goes on to say he'd never reported it because he didn't think it was relevant to the credibility of Ambassador Wilson's claims.

So it appears at this point at least, no laws were violated and there's a whole lot more sizzle than steak in this "scandal".

Now let's see how long this denial takes to make into mainstream media.

UPDATE: John Hawkins has an excellent roundup of the whole mess.

Up and Running

Frank J's grand idea is up and running, a test site anyway.....Front Line Voices.

He's still looking for stories from the troops, so drop by and help him out if you can.

A Bit Brisk

It's a brisk 37 degrees here this morning....fall has arrived. Sassy is all excited because it's getting to be Akita weather. She loves the cold. With all that thick fur, it's the only time of year that she's really comfortable.

Sollie says screw you guys, I'm not getting out of my warm blankie.

I'm with him.

Parenting Advice

Da Goddess has some excellent observations about what makes a good parent. Go read.

How'd That Happen?

I'm now an Adorable Little Rodent.

Thanks everyone!

Interesting

Guess whose telephone number is registered with the national DoNotCall list?

U.S. District Judge Edward Nottingham's number was added in July to the registry, which was designed to block telemarketers' calls.

He's the judge who just ruled that the list was unconstitutional....a little ironic, don't you think?

Saturday Round Up

--Arkansas 34, Alabama 31

--At halftime, we had Mike's famous baked shrimp scampi and lemon pepper angelhair pasta & prosciutto.

--Life is good.

Game On

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals has denied the telemarketers' request to stop the DoNotCall list. In their order, which you can read here, the court states that:

We conclude that petitioners have failed to meet their burden on these remaining two factors, for two reasons. First, the public interest in respecting “residential privacy” weighs against a stay of the FCC’s order.....Second, the strong expectation interest of the many millions of Americans who have registered with the FCC’s “do not call” list weighs in favor of denying the stay.....On the record presented, we conclude that petitioners have failed to establish a substantial likelihood of success on the merits, and we therefore DENY the motion for stay of the FCC’s order pending review of the merits.

That does not bode well for the telemarketers' case. The court is basically saying that unless the telemarketers can show them something new, the lower court's ruling will be overturned.

Ain't that a shame.

Heh.

Local Dumbass

Daniel Anthony Raymond's conviction was upheld today by the Arkansas Supreme Court. [Yes I know the news article says it was remanded. It's wrong. Go read the opinion here]

His crime? Violation of A.C.A. 5-71-228, which states in part:

a) It is unlawful for any person to willfully obstruct or impede the participation of any individual in the lawful activity of shooting, hunting, fishing, or trapping in this state. Provided, that nothing in this section shall prohibit a landowner or lessee from exercising his or her lawful right to prohibit hunting,fishing, or trapping on his or her land, or from exercising any other legal right.

You see, this freaking retard didn't want people hunting on his neighbor's property. So when hunting season started, he jumped on his four wheeler and started patrolling the property line, blowing a whistle and shooting off rounds from his .22 pistol. I'm surprised they didn't have to remove the whistle and pistol from his ass.

But the hunters did the smart thing & called the law on him. He was convicted since he freely admitted what he did. Then he appealed his conviction on the grounds that, among other things, he had a First Amendment right to blow the whistle.

Riiiiight. Too bad for him that he didn't raise that issue at trial, since our Supremes are pretty strict about not hearing issues that weren't. They were not amused and affirmed his conviction.

Guess that means he's a double dumbass.

In Case You Were Wondering

It is very frustrating and tedious to set up columns with headers when writing a program in QBasic. Fortunately I'm very stubborn.

They. Will. Line. Up. Correctly.

Eventually.

Running With the Big Dogs

I watched the first hour of the Dems' debate last night....then got bored & went to bed. According to Rodger, I missed one of the better Clark questions of the night...though apparently Clark's answer was less than satisfactory.

Less than satisfactory was my general impression of all of Clark's answers that I saw. He really didn't have much to say, except that he'd be coming out with his plan for this and that. Though I suppose, given the propensity his previous statements have for biting him in the ass, that was probably a good strategy. But it did give the impression that he wasn't quite ready for primetime.

To mix a few metaphors, if you gonna run with the big dogs, you're gonna have to get your game face on. And I don't think Clark's there yet.

Heckling As Sport

Mike & I are heckling the Democratic presidential debate a la MST3K style. Our best line so far:

"You've run out of time General Clark, and please stop saying Howard Dean shore has a purty mouth."

Y'all didn't know I had a real mean streak, did you?

Second Judge Strikes

U.S. District Judge Edward Nottingham, Colorado, has ruled that the DoNotCall list violates the First Amendment. Now before y'all start foaming at the mouth, go read his well-written opinion here.

His basic holding appears to be that the DoNotCall list is designed to protect citizens against unwanted invasions of privacy by telemarketers, a legitimate government goal. The hair in the bread is that the list only bans commercial calls, not those from charitable organizations....which are arguably the same invasion of privacy. Furthermore, he points out, there's nothing to stop some fly-by-night company from registering as a charitable organization just to evade the restrictions of the list.

In other words, if you're going to ban telemarketing calls on the basis that they're invading people's privacy, you have to ban all telemarketing calls that invade people's privacy....not just the ones you don't like.

I don't have a problem with that.

Ban 'em all.

Hometown Excitement

My sis tipped me off that they were having a little excitement down in my little hometown. Seems one of the local deputies pulled a guy over for driving without tags. Not sure exactly how everything went down, but the guy ended up charged with "possession of an illegal firearm - a sawed-off shotgun - third degree attempted escape, no driver's license, no license plate and no vehicle insurance."

Not too exciting you say? But there's a twist. They could find no record of the guy under the name he was using, so they ran his fingerprints statewide. Nothing. The guy's attorney had worked out a plea bargain on the charges, but at the last minute the prosecutor backed out, feeling something just wasn't right about the guy. Finally, someone had the idea to run his fingerprints against the national database. They got a hit.

A 22-year-old man charged in the capital murder of both of his adoptive parents last year in Texas has been caught in Searcy County and is being held in the county jail at Marshall, according to Searcy County Sheriff Jerry Loggins.

James Joseph Singleton has actually been held in the jail since May 25 of this year but he gave police the false name of John Sutton. "When we asked him if he had any parents, he said, 'No,'" Loggins said.

A famous little murderer he is too, was even featured on "America's Most Wanted" back in March. It's alleged he hacked his parents to death with a sword in August, 2002, and has been on the run ever since.

So there's been a media swarm all over my little hometown, "America's Most Wanted" even did interviews with all involved. That should be interesting.

I guess the moral to the story is if you're a wanted fugitive, make sure you obey all traffic laws when traveling through these little one-horse towns. Sometimes small-town deputies get lucky.

UPDATE: Damn, he didn't look anything like his picture did he? That's one scary looking guy.

Recognize Any Names?

Scroll down to the bottom of the page here for the list of House representatives who voted against the DoNotCall list. I didn't recognize any of the names, but they were:

• Bishop (UT)
  
• Ryan (OH)
  
• Terry
  
• Flake
  
• Strickland
  
• Paul
  
• Tancred

There were 9 representatives missing/not voting, include Gephardt. Doesn't he hold some record for the most votes missed or something like that?

Anyway, I would be interested to know why these particular representatives voted against this.

Anyone have an idea?

A Little Equation

Here's a little algebra problem for you:

Rita drives approximately 26 miles to her evening class at the community college. If her travel time is 63 minutes, what was her average speed?

Answer: Rush hour road construction traffic on I-540 really sucks.

*sigh*

At least it wasn't completely boring. Some yahoo who was stuck in the southbound lane traffic was blowing a whistle & waving at everyone who looked up. And then there was the complete moron in a big white Suburban who was zipping along in the right hand lane, completely ignoring the "Merge Now" and "Do Not Pass" signs in his rush to get to the front of the line & cut in. He was also trying to ignore the nice policeman who was right on his bumper with his blue lights on, trying to pull the moron over. When he finally stopped, the state trooper got out & did "The Walk"....you know the one, where he gets out, hitches up his pants, whips out his ticket book & pen and does this stiff-legged strut up to the offending vehicle...the walk that says he's one pissed-off cop. I watched this all unfold, and thought "Man, it's gonna suck to be that moron."

I not only laughed as I drove by, I also pointed.

Too Funny

Kazaa has filed a little copyright infringement suit of its own.

Sharman Networks Ltd., the company behind the Kazaa file-sharing software, filed a federal lawsuit Monday accusing the entertainment companies of using unauthorized versions of its software in their efforts to root out users. Entertainment companies have offered bogus versions of copyright works and sent online messages to users.

Sharman said the companies used Kazaa Lite, an ad-less replica of its software, to get onto the network. The lawsuit also claims efforts to combat piracy on Kazaa violated terms for using the network.

The RIAA, Kazaa alleges, "trolled file-sharing networks such as Kazaa and downloaded song files from users' computers." That's how they got all those names for their subpoenas.

Naughty, naughty. That's gonna cost ya, I suspect.

Completely Ridiculous

I've been following local news reports on this, but haven't mentioned it because...well...I've been just too damn embarrassed.

The state of Arkansas, where deep frying is a way of life, is sending its students home with notes not just about their grades, but about their weight.

Yep, part of the new and improved school standards is to send notes to parents stating their child's body mass index.

As my grandmother would say, "They Lord have mercy. What will they think of next?"

It's all part of our Gov.'s plan to bring Arkansas into compliance with the new Federal standards of the "No Child Left Behind". (Of which, BTW, I'm not a real big fan.) Apparently, at least in Arkansas, Johnny can't read but he sure can pack away the food.

Mississippi is the only state with more overweight children than Arkansas, where one quarter of its 447,000 students is overweight.

All together now, what's our state's motto? "Thank God for Mississippi!"

Our biggest problem is that schools and parents are too concerned with "damaging" Johnny's self-esteem to make him get off his fat ass and get some damn exercise.

Try sending a note home saying that.

War Critic Conversion

Donald Walters writes about how his experiences in Iraq convinced him the war was necessary.

Despite my initial opposition to the war, I am now convinced that, whether we find any weapons of mass destruction or prove Saddam Hussein sheltered and financed terrorists, we absolutely should have overthrown the Ba'athists - indeed, we should have done it sooner.

Interesting stuff.

DoNotCall Update

That didn't take long.

The Senate and House were expected to consider legislation Thursday that would ensure the free government service goes into effect as scheduled next week, deflecting unwanted sales pitches to more than 50 million registered phone numbers.....Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, who is chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, and Rep. Billy Tauzin, R-La., chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, introduced bills late Wednesday to give the FTC explicit authority to create and operate the list.

From my lips to Congress' ears? Nah, but I suspect Congressional members got an earful much like the judge did.

After the ruling, angry consumers posted the judge's office and home telephone numbers on Web sites and encouraged people to call and complain. Calls to the West home seeking comment were blocked by busy signals.

I told y'all not to do that.

Heh.

Thanks A Lot, Judge

As you've probably heard by now, a Federal judge in Oklahoma has stricken down the FTC's national "Do Not Call" list. You can read a .pdf copy of his order here.

At first glance, it seems to me that he's walking a rather fine line here. He says that Congress did not expressly grant authority to the FTC to establish such a list, so the FTC did not have the power to make the list. The first part is true, but the FTC does have the express power to prevent abusive telemarketing practices. And Congress did appropriate money to establish the DoNotCall list....which is arguably a ratification by Congress of the FTC action's.

There's going to be an appeal, I'm sure. But you know, if Congress passed an explicit bill authorizing the FTC to establish a DoNotCall list in the interim, then the telemarketers would be left with nothing but a 1st Amd. argument....which isn't that strong. Saying that a telemarketer has the 1st Amd. right to annoy you in your home when you've said you're not interested doesn't exactly pass the straight face test. (That's where you, as an attorney, look at yourself in the mirror & ask yourself "Can I make this argument with a straight face?" If you can honestly answer "Yes", then you're pretty safe from getting Rule 11 sanctions.)

So contact your Congressional representative and demand legislative action. (See how I adroitly avoided using a sexist term?) It'll be more productive than calling that judge's office and harassing him. He ain't gonna change his ruling.

I know y'all were thinking about doing that weren't you?

Study Time

I've several tests coming up so I'll be spending most of my free time studying over the next week or so. This week's test is in my stupid, worthless Business Communications class. The book appears to be written on about an 8th grade level, and has been most instructive on the root cause of the poorly written business communications I've received over the years. For example, the section on getting supporting information for the main topic of your message contains such gems as "Turn off the analytical function of your brain. Encourage the creative function of your brain." and "No judgments allowed during idea-generating activities!"

The section on converting "sexist" sentences into "gender-free" ones was a hoot, though. So are the "cultural tips" scattered throughout....though I'm still wondering what possible relationship feng shui has to faxes.

At any rate, I'll be spending most of the day memorizing the first 4 chapters of this utter crap interesting information in hopes that I can regurgitate enough of it tomorrow to ace the test. But I'll think I'll stick to my Strunk & White as my primary writing reference.

I'm jus' old school like dat.

Another Good Idea

Adam's got a good idea also.

Here's the idea--We organize a national blogger meet. It grows into a national bloggers association. We begin having meetings each year and grow in our own right, eventually becoming an integral portion of the mainstream media by doing what we do best--blogging.

I am serious about forming our own organization to look after our interests, eventually even being able to protect our members and medium through legal action if need be. However, to pull together such an organization requires more than just me and my idea. It will necessitate the support and participation of other bloggers and blog readers.

He's looking for volunteers and input, so go put in your two cents' worth or volunteer your expertise.

Sheer Genius

Frank J has a grand idea.

Here's what I propose. I bet most of know some troops who have been are in Iraq and the almost forgotten Afghanistan. Let's record their stories of how things really are and have a blog devoted to just posting that with no commentary. The main page would be choice excerpts (and yes, bias would play into that, but, so what, we're biased) with links to the entire troops' statements. We put up both the good and the bad, with nothing to hide, but we get the real story out there. Separately, we continue to highlight the atrocities that were in Iraq and Afghanistan in contrast to how things are now. Also, we watch the major news outlets like a hawk, finding the worst of the offenders. We also need to try and make friends with what new media we can, getting exposure for the real stories from the war and shaming the outlets that are nothing but propagandists. And we have to not just get the story out in America but in other countries as well, which will be a lot harder.

Go read to see what you can do to help.

Small Town Lawsuit

Ever wonder what it's like to live in a small town? Wonder no longer.

A Lead Hill, Arkansas preacher filed a lawsuit against a senior citizens center that banned him after he allegedly took part in brawls, threatened residents and took extra doughnuts and ice cream topping.... He says he was singled out for losing dominoes, leaving billiard balls on top of the pool table, eating an extra doughnut and other breaches of etiquette.

Just imagine what they would've done to him if he'd taken the last piece of chicken.

That's a killing offense around these parts.

Throw The Bums Out

The Iraq Governing Council has voted to ban al-Jazeera and al-Arabiya from Iraq for a month.

The UK's Times newspaper quoted council member Mudhar Shawkat as saying: "Inciting violence is what these channels proclaim.

"They show men in masks carrying guns and call them 'resistance'. They're not resistance, they're thugs and criminals," he said.

Paul Bremer now has the unenviable task of decided whether the ban should be implemented.

If Mr Bremer endorses a ban, he risks fuelling suspicion the Governing Council is a puppet of the US-led Coalition Authority

If he overrules the move, he risks alienating America's allies on the council.

I say let 'em throw the bums out.

Nothing gets the attention of a recalcitrant mule like a good solid thump between the ears.

Inconvenient Facts

The Clinton camp is attempting to rewrite history again. Clinton was never offered Bin Laden, and Clinton did everything in his power to combat terrorism.

Unfortunately, Richard Miniter has published a book that says otherwise....and seems to have the facts to back up his claims.

Now this may all be part of the ongoing effort to polish the Clinton "legacy", but it seems to me to be another indicator that Hillary is seriously considering a run for the White House in '04. And I've heard an interesting rumor that she's considering running as Clark's VP.

I'm not much of a political pundit, but that could be a smart move on her part. First, it would give her wiggle room on her pledge to her NY constituents that she wouldn't run for President. Second, it would give her a springboard for running in '08. Last, it would give her 4 years of policy control like she had with Bill....or so she would think. Gen. Clark doesn't strike me as the type to be anyone's puppet. But then you never know what people will do to gain power.

Me, I'm thinking being the heartbeat between Hillary & the presidency would be a right dangerous place to be.

Good For A Giggle

France's alternative plan for Iraq is good for a brief giggle. The basic thrust of the plan is to turn control over to an Iraqi governing council, which would include former Ba'athists. This council would be assisted by France, who would be running everything. Which sounds suspiciously like the old "Welcome to the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss" plan.

Dream on, Chirac.

Arkansas Agri Update

Guess there's still a few old-style farmers around.

According to Sebastian County Sheriff Frank Atkinson, the marijuana plants discovered on Sugarloaf Mountain totaled 7,305 plants, worth a whopping $7.3 million.

You always know when fall's arrived around here by the sounds of the choppers circling....easier to find the pot patches during harvest time.

Our Weekend

The highlights of our hectic weekend include:

--Saturday: Hours at the company picnic with the WildChild, who for some reason thinks ponies are cows and amused everyone in line for the pony ride by pointing and moo-ing.

--Sunday morning: Geysers of water erupting from the bathtub & commode, caused by the first load of laundry attempted since the Roto-Rooter man allegedly unblocked the septic line. I'm thinking of suggesting a new use for his equipment when he arrives today.

--Sunday night: Mike is the relieved parent of one 4 mm kidney stone.

We're still in recovery mode.

Just....Wow!

I've found more on the amazing survival story of a local lady, whom I posted about yesterday. Seems she wasn't feeling well, but decided to go to work anyway. She somehow missed a curve and ran off the road and well.....let's just say it was a good thing she was wearing her seat belt. I've cut & pasted the remainder of her amazing story below because our local newspaper's links suck and they don't archive their stories more than a day or two.

All I can say is Day-amn! That is one determined woman.

Arkansas State Police Trooper Bobby Clemence said, "She drove straight off with no braking, no turning, no nothing."

At 3:47 p.m., a U.S. Forestry Service pickup stopped. Two employees used their radio to call their headquarters in Jasper, where others called for medical help. "They gave her a drink of water. That was the only drink she had all day," Joe Honeycutt said.

Doctors were able to save her leg, and she's listed in good condition at our local hospital.

New E-Mail Worm

In case you haven't heard, there's a new e-mail worm....purports to be a security update attached to a Microsoft e-mail.

I've already gotten a couple of emails that I suspect contained this virus. I didn't open the attachment to confirm, just hit the delete.....even I know Microsoft doesn't send out security patches to individuals by e-mail. They're not that well-organized.

Hell, their automatic update system doesn't work half the time.

Tough Enough

There's some tough women in our neck of the woods.

A woman who suffered a broken leg and crushed heel after her car plunged off a curve on a mountain road near Jasper dragged herself about 1000 feet to where she could flag down help....Honeycutt had to climb through her car's busted windshield to get free from the vehicle, which came to rest on its driver side.

Now that took some grit, didn't it? The area where she crashed is pretty wild and woolly....if she hadn't crawled out, it's unlikely she would've ever been found, dead or alive.

Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and do what you gotta do.

Killer's Appeal Denied

The appeal of one of the two killers of 13 yr. old Jesse Dirkhising has been denied by the Arkansas Supreme Court. If you're not familar with the case, Google Jesse's name cuz I'm not going to repeat it here. What they did to that child will make you toss your breakfast.

Killing's too good for both of them.

Fly and Fight

There's been another passenger combat incident in the Friendly Skies.

A man attempted to break into the cockpit of an airliner flying from South Africa to Atlanta on Thursday, the FBI said.

Not a terrorist they said, just your garden-variety crazy guy. I'm not sure if this is happening more or is just getting reported more, but it sure seems like these types of incidents are increasing.

What's surprising is that more of those who do these things aren't getting killed. Few things in the world more dangerous than a group of people who think they've nothing to lose....fight or die.

[Note to self: Take refresher course in hand-to-hand combat prior to next flight.]

Pay Attention, Bob

Bob Herbert of the NYT is cautiously optimistic about Gen. Clark.

General Clark's instincts (or at least the little we know of them) seem to push him in the direction of bridge-building and cooperative efforts, which would be good for a party in disarray, and even better for a country that needs as many allies as possible in the fight against terror and other threats around the world.

Yeah, like that time in Kosovo when he got pissed off & tried to start WWIII but couldn't get the other countries' generals to cooperate.

The comparisons of General Clark to a fellow named Eisenhower are as overblown at this point as they are inevitable.

Bob, Bob, Bob. You haven't been paying attention. The more apt inevitable comparision is to MacAuthur, not Eisenhower.

Meanwhile, the Democrats should welcome him not as a savior but as someone with the potential to energize their stagnant field of presidential contenders.

Or someone who's a placeholder for Hillary, which is what I'm starting to suspect is going on, while she waits for Bush to drop in the polls. Even if that doesn't happen, supporting Clark is useful for Hillary since he even further divides the party, ensuring a clear run for her in 2008.

To give credit where credit is due, I don't think Gen. Clark is a knowing participant....not his style.

But it's definitely Hillary's.

Don't Forget!

Today is National Talk Like A Pirate Day, matey!

Aaargh!

[I feel so....like this]

Mysterious Call

Continuing this week's theme of generally trashing Gen. Clark, Paul's found an interesting explanation for the "mysterious" phone call Clark claims to have received on 9/11. [Yes I know the link isn't working right now. It's Blogspot. Scroll down to the post "Ret. Gen. Clark")

Poor Wesley Clark, who's recent claims to fame include being unable to recognize a ground assault even when he follows one on a map, and who said that Bush tried to gag him to stop him from criticizing the strategy during Gulf War II although he had no proof, and was contacted by a Mysterious Caller who Clark claimed pressured him to make connections between Saddam and Sept. 11 (although, again, he offered no proof for the phone call.)...But the man who may have been the Mysterious Caller has come forward although the devil is really in the details.

Go read the rest to find out who's claiming to be the caller.

Curiouser and curiouser.

New Additions

I've added David and Margi to the blogroll to the right....a long overdue addition. Sorry guys. I have no excuse except that I'm just plumb goofy sometimes.

Like just now, when I could hear water roaring & thought we'd sprung a helluva leak in the bathroom...I was halfway down the hallway until I remembered that I'd plugged the teapot in a few minutes ago. It was ready. Duh!

*ahem*

Programming lab is going to be fun today, isn't it?

PSA

For all you who stopped by looking for the definition of "res ipsa loquitur", I just have one thing to say.

How's Torts class going?

I'm so glad I'm not you. BWAHAHAHAHA!

BTW, it means "the thing speaks for itself"....now go read your assigned case about the tragic fall of the killer barrel of flour.

Iraq/Al Quada Links

While there's no known direct links between Saddam and the 9/11 attacks, President Bush said today that there were definite links between Saddam and the 9/11 terrorists.

"We have no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with the Sept. 11" attacks, Bush said at the start of a meeting with congressional lawmakers discussing new energy legislation. But, he added, "There's no question that Saddam Hussein had Al Qaeda ties."

Buh-duh. And there's more evidence being found of just how strong those links were.

Cheney said he recalled being asked about an Iraq connection to Sept. 11 shortly after the attacks, and responded that the time that he knew of no evidence at that point.

"We learned more and more that there was a relationship between Iraq and Al Qaeda that stretched back through most of the decade of the '90s; that it involved training, for example, on [biological warfare] and [chemical warfare]; that Al Qaeda sent personnel to Baghdad to get trained on the systems, and involved the Iraqis providing bomb-making expertise and advice to the Al Qaeda organization."

Ain't but one way to break an egg-sucking dog.

Shoot him in the head.

And Then There's Flat Out Liars

BBC reporter Andrew Gilligan admits he "made mistakes" about his claim that the British Gov't exaggerated the threat of Iraq's WMDs....just a little slip of the tongue during live broadcasts.

The headline should read: "Loose tongue kills".

And Then There's Losers

We may be picking on Gen. Clark too much. At least he doesn't run the risk of being as big a loser as this poor guy.

There's losers, and then there's Losers. If only this had happened to Clinton in his early years.

The Final Straw

As if the anti-smoking crap here weren't bad enough, now I find out there's going to be a new Krispy Kreme shop opening next year...in the neighboring city of Bentonville. You see, the Krispy Kreme people originally wanted to locate in Fayetteville, but "was unable to put a deal together".

That does it. We're moving. You people are too damn stupid to live. The closest Krispy Kreme now is in Tulsa...a good 2 hour drive away. And you wouldn't help them locate in Fayetteville. Now if it had been "Rainbow's House of Tofu-On-A-Stick" I'm sure our city leaders would've donated some prime real estate just to get 'em going.

Damn hippies got no place in government.

Clark

I'd planned to add my two-cents worth on the entry of Gen. Clark into the presidential race, but now I don't have to. Scott and Rodger have pretty much summed it all up. Scott has a link to a Washington Post article that you should definitely read. And as Rodger points out, Clark is backed by the Clinton crowd and Michael Moore. Do you really need to know anything else?

Didn't think so.

Annoying

Dear SBC Yahoo,

When rollling out a new update to your browser in the future, you might want to consider the following:

A. Make sure that your automated download, I don't know, ACTUALLY FREAKING WORKS.

B. Preparing a more helpful error message than "There's a problem with our automated download. Please retry."

C. When a dowload error occurs, make sure there's a more effective backout than SKIPPING THE DOWNLOAD OF THE ONLY SERVICES I FREAKING WANT.

D. Including contact information for the help desk.

Please ignore these suggestions if your only intent was to REALLY PISS ME OFF. That part worked superbly.

Sincerely,

Your customer

Happy Blogiversary!

Craig says as near as he can figure, today is his one year Blogiversary.

Go wish him a happy one. He's a fine feller, even iffen he ain't from around here.

Take That, CNN

Via Best of the Web, I found this little nugget about CNN's whoring in Iraq:

Fox News spokeswoman Irena Briganti said of Amanpour's comments: "Given the choice, it's better to be viewed as a foot soldier for Bush than a spokeswoman for al-Qaeda."

*whistles* That had to sting.

We Knew Ya When

A hearty congratulations to David, who's just been published.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Random Linkage

--Paul ponders the recent massive Chinese troop buildup along the North Korean border.

--Da Goddess speculates that menopause may be trying to tell Madonna something.

--Jim takes a funny but painfully brutal poke at the sport of basketball.

--Adam safely makes it to Atlanta only to find there's no coffee.

--Big Arm Woman posts her thoughts on the A-word.

--And Dean has an excellent post on the N-word and Northern racism.

Go enjoy.

Sweet Dreams

It's late Christmas Eve night, and Mike & I were wearily surveying our handiwork before turning in.....visiting kids and guests all tucked into bed, mounds of gifts under the brightly decorated tree. The moon is bright outside, and we're standing snuggled up, gazing out our bedroom window at all the beautifully decorated houses in the neighborhood, enjoying the moment. All of a sudden, there was a ruckus in the living room, people screaming and yelling, the unmistakable sounds of our dogs attacking.

We rush in to find that someone had broken into the house and kidnapped my daughter's roommate, who was spending Christmas with us. Let's call her JoAnna. Mike & I got everyone calmed down and started searching outside, calling for JoAnna.

I hear a rustling in some bushes by the edge of the yard. Just a little sound, but it shouldn't be there. I hear it again. I signal to Mike, and then say loudly, "I'm going to go into the house to get my shoes, a flashlight and my gun. If you don't return JoAnna unharmed by the time I get back outside, you're gonna find out how incredibly pissed off I'll get having to hunt your sorry ass down at 2 am on Christmas Eve."

I grab my shoes and my .357 S&W revolver. Mike's checking the clip in the Glock .40, and I'm getting extra ammo for my 12 gauge when someone says, "Look! Here they come!" We look out to see a tall figure emerge from the shadows and start walking across the lawn, JoAnna in a chokehold in front of him. We run out, guns in hand.

He stops as we approach, and releases JoAnna. As she runs past me into the house, I tell her to call the police. The guy starts moving slowly towards me. I tell him to Freeze! as I move to keep him in the crossfire between me and Mike.

"Police? Sorry, no police," he says in a beautiful British accent as he raises the gun he's kept hidden in the folds of his black trenchcoat. He leers, "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to---" I shot him with a .357 hollowpoint, aiming low at his hip, thinking to disable him so we can find out who else is involved. Bad move on my part.

He goes down, but jumps back up and takes off running, Mike's in hot pursuit. I'm struggling to keep up, did he hit me I wonder because I'm having such a hard time running. Mike catches up with him down the street a ways, the guy turns and fires at Mike, missing. Holy shit, I think, stop and fire two more rounds his way. Everything seems to be happening in slow-motion, it's that adrenalin rush thing. It's like being in a car wreck, your brain goes into hyper-drive and your eyes see every detail. I see the bullets miss him by a hair....he moved at just the right time and I'm just a bit too far away.

Damn damn damn I'm thinking as I continue running. I only have 3 shots left and he's still standing. And my shotgun is still back at the house. Mike crouches into a shooter's stance and opens up on him with the .40. The guy jerks with every impact, but still doesn't stay down. I think shit, we're gonna have re-think our ammo loads because this obviously doesn't have enough knock-down power.

I'm almost within range again when I hear doors opening all over the neighborhood. Mike stops firing. The guy whirls and is astonished to see all our neighbors standing outside, guns in hand.

I think to myself "This is Arkansas, sumbitch. We don't put up with punks like you." And I smile. Bad guy goes out in a hail of gunfire.

Then I wake up, gasping for breath like I'd just run a marathon. And I discover that not only did that big slice of Mike's key lime pie I ate right before bed give me extraordinarily vivid dreams, it also gave me really bad heartburn.

Now that that's taken care of, I'm going back to bed to see what happens next. Movies in my head, keeping my brain entertained while the rest of me sleeps.

I love it.

Not In This Lifetime

If this ever makes it into print, don't expect to see my photo included.

Just in case you were wondering.

Arafat Assassins

After Israel's remark that it wasn't ruling out terminating Arafat with extreme prejudice, the Palestinians have gone crying to the UN to protect him. The UN has risen to the challenge in its usual manner.

The council scheduled an open meeting Monday on the situation in the Middle East amid mounting criticism of the Israel's security Cabinet's decision Thursday to "remove" Arafat in a manner and time to be decided.

Israel can expect a stern talking-to, I'm sure. *yawn*

Based on my scanty knowledge of the situation, Israel's options are pretty limited. Hamas and their suicide bombers will never be stopped as long as Arafat's around. Exile would only enhance his status....after all, look at how sending Napoleon to Corsica turned out. I suppose they could exile him to some remote region like Antarctica, where his ability to communicate could be effectively stopped.....but then they'd have the inevitable attacks to "liberate" him.

If I were Israel, I think I'd be closely examining the option of waiting for the present furor to die down and then just take him out.....preferably by an "attack" by a suicide bomber from some Palestinian or other group that opposed Arafat. There's gotta be one around somewhere. Sure there would be rumors and finger pointing at Israel, but if they were good enough at covering their tracks, and I think they are, it would never be definitely linked to them.

Then I'd crack down on Hamas, imprison or kill their leaders, finish putting up the wall and then focus on keeping them hemmed in. It would be a bloody little war, but a effective way to return the Palestinians to what they've always been....a vagrant band of misfits whose respective own countries won't take them in.

Probably a good thing I'm not running a country, don't you think?

WildChild

I've decided that henceforth Bubs will be referred to as WildChild....the older he gets, the more I'm seeing the unmistakable signs of his dad's ADHD. For example:

Yesterday my daughter stopped by to see him before we had to take him back to his mom's. My daughter's been swamped with work & school, so she hadn't gotten to see him in quite a while. She's his favorite, so he was wound up tighter than a cheap watch with excitement from her visit. So much in fact, that she couldn't keep him focussed on one thing long enough to play with her.

It was throwtheballshoveldirtgorunningafterSollie....he turned in mid-stride on that one, almost falling down because Hey! There's Ma's lawn tractorclimbonpretendtodriveBeep!Beep!jumpdowntogetinhislittleredwagonjumpoutrunupthebankTaDa!rundownthebankpickberriesfromthejuniperdiginthegravel. On and on and on. He was laughing & squealing with delight every step.

Reminded me of one of my favorite jokes:

How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Hey! Wanna ride bikes?

Football Saturday

Final Score: Arkansas 38, Texas 28.

Y'all thought I was kidding when I said we would beat Texas as long as we could keep enough players out of jail.

Imagination

One of the most fun things about watching children grow and develop is seeing them discover their imagination. WildChild, formerly known as Bubs, is discovering his. He pretends his Scooby-Doo fruit snacks are hot & must be blown upon before eating. He pretends that Velma is me, which almost makes up for him pretending that this was me. He pretends to write...."N N N N N", which spells Ma. He pretends to read. He pretends his toy chicken can drive the farm truck while the farmer rides in the back. (I do believe he's inherited his dad's and my warped sense of humor.)

Last night, while finishing his bath, we picked up his bath toys and hung his SpongeBob bath mat up to dry. There was still some water in the tub, so I told him to be careful and not fall. He kinda grins, and crouches down in this surfer stance, palms flat and outstretched, and starts wiggling from side to side. He pretends to slip and fall, splashing water everywhere, then looks up at me and giggles.

I crack up laughing....which means he has to do it over and over until I'm laughing so hard I can't even pick him up out of the tub. He's such a little silly head....natural born comedian just like his dad.

Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
(From Willy Wonka)

The world through the eyes of a child, one of the finer things in life.

I'm Famous!

Guess who got interviewed for this week's Sunday Seven? Little ol' me, that's who.

David has such a talent for interviewing. If the powers-that-be had the sense God gave a goose, he'd be getting paid to do that full-time.

It was indeed an honor.

You May Have Already Won!

I got one of those letters yesterday....no, not from Ed McMahon. A jury summons. Yep, I'm the lucky winner of 3 months of jury duty for civil court. Being a good citizen, I mailed in my questionnaire this morning and confirmed with the sheriff's office that I had received the summons. They'll call if they need me, they said. Terrific.

Like any attorney in their right mind would want me on a jury. But with my luck, I'll get picked by some idiot in a mind-numbing land condemnation case.

I can't wait.

Iran Gets Atomic Deadline

The UN Atomic Agency has given Iran until the end of October to convince everyone of its peaceful nuclear intentions.

An IAEA report to the board said traces of highly enriched, weapons-grade uranium were found at an Iranian nuclear facility and also noted tests by Iran that experts say make little sense unless the country was pursuing nuclear weapons.

Tehran insists its nuclear programs are for generating electricity and says its equipment was "contaminated" with enriched uranium by a previous owner.

Yeah, right and they weren't even around when it happened. You know, when I was younger and wilder, I once convinced my dad that the partial six pack of beer he'd found in my car belonged to a classmate with whom I'd been having problems....she probably put that in my unlocked car when I wasn't around just to get me in trouble, I argued.

*ahem* Damn I hated to see him pour out what was left of my beer.

Being my dad and a generally nice guy, he gave me the benefit of the doubt and didn't punish me....but all things considered, it would've been much better for me if he hadn't.

Just something to think about.

Friday Five

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? Nope. Last name's different. Duh. I came of age at a time when it was all the fashion to not change one's name when one married.....a symbol of ownership, suppression of identity by the ruling patriarchy and all that. I always thought that was silly, hello, your father is an evil man too. To me, it's a symbol of what marriage is all about. Two becoming one, leaving your family to start another, whither thou goest and all that jazz. Besides, it makes it harder for anyone to trace you. ; )

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? I would change my first name to Shaneequah. I've always thought that was my "real" name, not sure why. I just like it. I sometimes tell little obnoxious kids that's my name but they never believe me...little bastards.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) When I was born, my mother told my sister that she could name me. My sister wanted to name me "Nancy".....ugh! Thank God my mother wouldn't let her, but instead named me Rita....thinking that name was unusual enough in our small community that I would be distinguishable among our numerous relatives with the same last name. It wasn't, there's at least 2 others with the same name, but hey, at least she tried. My dad's relatives have this weird habit of naming children after other living relatives, which means I have mulitiple cousins with the exact same freakin' name. Don't you feel sorry for the mail carriers down there?

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? Not really....though I often wondered about a guy down home who named his son Ben. His last name was Dover. I'm not kidding. I always felt sorry for that kid.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn't it? Not really. I'm not musical, naturally talkative, or particularly sympathetic. Emotion & feeling are not the driving forces in my life either....that would be highly illogical.

Those "analyses" are about as reliable as horoscopes, IMO. What's in a name, after all? Po-mo's will tell you that by the act of naming something, you are defining its reality...because the name defines characteristics. Which is true to a certain extent....you expect a pig to have pig traits. On the other hand, even though you can put lipstick & pearls on a pig, call her Sally and take her to the dance, it's still not gonna be much of a date.

Trust me on that one.

Bad Mojo

We thought there was some bad mojo in the air today. At school, the network went beserk & they had to reboot the servers....then the printer in our classroom refused to work. I finally performed Mike's patented interpretive dance to appease the print serve god, David the network dude finally plugged the printer into a new working port on the correct switch and the printer finally connected to the network.

At lunch, my cell phone wasn't working properly, Mike never got the page I sent him because their pagers had lost their minds, and he had been having all kinds of weird network & phone problems at work. Communications related things were horked up everywhere.

Now, thanks to Matt, I know why. Some local doofus cut a major fiber optic cable.

Nice timing jerkface, whoever you were.

New York State of Mind

The same skyline as below, February, 2002:

Some things do indeed speak for themselves.

Osama Video

I had a post planned about the latest Osama video...a riff on how it made me think of those feminine products commercials. ""O wonderous Osama! Have you ever had that not-so-fresh feeling?"

But then I found out Paul had beaten me to it.

Heh.

Rummy's Press Conference

We watched most of Rummy's press conference today while in the ER and got a kick out of the hecklers...."Hey Hey [unintelligible]. How many soldiers did you kill today?" You think they could come up with an original chant after 30 some odd years, wouldn't you? And I've been reading Frank's stuff for so long that I was expecting Rumsfield to go "RRRARRRH!" and start shooting them.

Oh the ER? Mike's passing some kidney stones...they shot him up with morphine, gave him a 'script for pain meds & eventually sent us home. He's resting nicely now, and should be ok in a few days. He promised to make beef stroganoff while I'm gone to class tonight, but I think that was probably a morphine-induced statement. Of course, he said many unlikely things before conking out.

I'm not gonna hold him to any of them.

September 2, 2000

Mike snapped this photo on the ferry ride back from our wedding. We were spending our honeymoon in a hotel in the financial district, corner of Gold & St. John...just a short walk away from the WTC. I fell in love with the neighborhood, so many neat little shops, so many nice, friendly people. We had planned to have dinner in the restaurant at the top during our stay, but weren't able to fit it in....no big deal, we thought, we'll go the next time we're here.

And now it's all gone, its occupants coldly and brutally murdered by religious fanatics.

I'll never forget.

London Blackout Cause Found

They've discovered the cause of the recent London blackout....human error.

Two years previously, engineers had installed on that last remaining line a shoebox-sized item of safety equipment designed to act like a normal domestic fuse, isolating parts of the network in the event of an excessive power load.

When the power surged to carry the extra load, the undersized box incorrectly activated protection systems, plunging parts of the capital into darkness, and prompting scenes reminiscent of the blackout that hit eastern North America earlier in August.

For the want of a nail....

Dems Debate

We watched the last part of the Democratic presidential candidates debate last night. Nothing particularly substantive or new....attack the other party, yadda yadda. Those things are all pretty much the same, all sizzle and no meat, no matter which party is involved.

But I do see now why Dean's so popular....he looks the most presidential out of the lot. Though Mike said he looked like Dan Akroyd playing Jimmy Carter. And he's a trial lawyer. 'Nuff said. Kerry...jeez. Everytime I see him, I always think of this....or this.

Joe Lieberman came across as the most moderate of the bunch. If I were going to vote Democratic, he'd be my most likely choice at this point. Though when I look at him, I think of this. And then there's that fixation on Florida and the 2000 election. Talk about beating a dead horse. He's as bad as all the Dale Earnhardt fans around here.

All in all, the debate was what one of my old law professor calls "interesting, but not very."

Maybe the next one will be better.

Give Me Your Teeth!

Natalie's learned the true measure of one's intelligence. I'll be laughing about this one for days.

Out of the mouths of babes.

Air Cargo Stunt

Here's a way to avoid the lines at airport security....jump in a crate & have yourself shipped as air freight.

McKinley, a shipping clerk for a Bronx-based computer firm, said his unorthodox odyssey was arranged through someone he met early this year, who had set up a similar flight for a friend.

They said his 1,500-mile, $550 trip cost him nothing - he charged it to his employer, Metro Tech.

Mr. McKinley is presently in jail...outstanding warrant I believe, though the Feds are looking for a way to charge him with something. And I would assume his employer will file charges against him for theft.

Apparently this isn't the first time this has happened, which makes you wonder about our new & improved airport security system.

What if he'd been someone other than a penny-ante crook trying to dodge a warrant?

Iraq/Terrorists Links

Daniel of Behind the Wall has a good summary of what we know so far about the links between Iraq and terrorism. Go give it a read 'n see what you think.

Color Coded Travel

Reportedly the government will institute a color-coding scheme for travelers next year. Cool, I want blue to match my luggage.

Passengers will be assigned one of three codes, based in part on their travel plans, traveling companions and the date the ticket was purchased. Sources say those coded "green" will easily pass through security checkpoints. Others will be coded "yellow" and face additional screening. An estimated one to two percent who get "red" coding will be barred from boarding and face police questioning. They may be arrested.

Cue the inevitable chorus of "loss of civil liberties", "profiling", "mark of the beast" and all that nonsense.

Technology Rocks

Years ago, I taught my son how to play chess. He has severe ADHD and I thought it might help teach him about thinking before you act. It did somewhat, he took to it like a duck to water and has been trouncing me soundly ever since the first couple of games. Not that that's hard to do.

Anyway, yesterday he and I were talking via IM, and he discovered that we could play chess on the particular IM we were using. We whiled away a hour or so, talking smack to each other while he once again beat me at chess. Which just got me to thinking.

He's half the world away, but we can still talk to each other and do things like play chess without paying an arm and a leg. How cool is that? Now this is probably old hat to most of you, but it just drove home to me how much technology has advanced just in my lifetime....and how we too often take it for granted.

I mean, we did not have a telephone until I was about 14 or so. Wasn't a money problem, there was no telephone access available where we lived. When we did get one, it was a 6 family party line and I wasn't allowed to make long distance calls because they were too expensive. Hard to imagine, isn't it? Yes I lived way out in the boonies....there were no maintained roads or electricity until my dad was in his mid-20's....but now we have cell phones that go everywhere we do. And you can call anywhere in the US for 3-5 cents a minute.

I came from that lifestyle to sitting at our kitchen table, talking & playing chess with my son in Okinawa, using my wireless laptop. I once thought of computers as these mysterious imposing rooms full of machinery that only egghead scientists could operate. And now we have at least one in every room of our house except the bathroom. (We could have one there, just why would you want to?)

Pretty damn amazing when you think about it.

Dr. Kelly on Saddam

Just ran across an interesting article written by the late Dr. David Kelly last March. You should go read the entire thing, but here's his conclusion.

Perhaps the real threat from Iraq today comes from covert use of such weapons against troops or by terrorists against civilian targets worldwide. The link with Al-Qaeda is disputed but is, in any case, not the principal terrorist link of concern. Iraq has long trained and supported terrorist activities and is quite capable of initiating such activity using its security services.

The long-term threat, however, remains Iraq’s development to military maturity of weapons of mass destruction ­ something only regime change will avert.

Hardly supports the BBC's claims, does it?

Osama Muslim Mahdi?

Tony's found that there's claims that Osama is the Mahdi...the Muslim equivalent of a messiah who's supposed to be victorious over us infidels in the final battle of the world.

Or something like that.

"Al Mahdi" is supposed to appear at a time when Muslim believers are severely oppressed in every corner of the world. He will fight the oppressors, unite the Muslims, bring peace and justice to the world, rule over the Arabs, and lead a prayer in Mecca at which Jesus will be present.

All-righty then. If that starts making the rounds among Muslims, it's gonna be like pouring gas on a fire.

Isn't there a related Christian prophecy....something about false prophets?

Promising News

Here's some promising news for my fellow sufferers from auto-immune disorders.

British scientists are developing vaccines to reprogram the body's natural defenses against autoimmune diseases such as arthritis, diabetes and multiple sclerosis.....The vaccines are based on a protein derived from a bacterium. Williams found that when it is introduced into the body it turns on the immune system controls and stops inflammatory diseases like arthritis and diabetes.

That would be simply wonderful if it works.

Dems Nervous About Clark

Wesley Clark is supposed to announce whether he will run for president before his Iowa speech on Sept. 19th....and the possibility that he will run seems to make the Dems nervous.

I can certainly understand that, he makes me nervous too.

Clark, 58, has a resume that unnerves potential rivals — Arkansas-raised, Rhodes scholar, first in his 1966 class at West Point, White House fellow, head of the U.S. Southern Command and NATO commander during the 1999 campaign in Kosovo.

Yeah, the last elected Arkansas-raised Rhodes scholar worked out so well, didn't he?

The inevitable comparison for Clark is with former President Clinton, the Rhodes scholar who traveled from Arkansas to the White House. Political observers cite the dynamics of Democratic politics in 1991, when Clinton declared his long-shot candidacy, and this year.

Clinton saw a President Bush struggling to repair the economy after a war in Iraq. Clark is looking squarely at another President Bush dealing with the nation's financial woes and an unsettled postwar Iraq, said Art English, a political science professor at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock.

I see two major differences. One, 9/11. I can't see any candidate getting popular support from the center if he (or she) doesn't support military action in the war on terrorists. And second, I think he's a loonie....as we say down home, that boy just ain't right in the haid. Which would become glaringly apparent if he enters the race.

And if he's the "cream of the crop" for the Dems, as some are saying, that doesn't say much for the Dems.

Mothers Without Morals

That pargon of pop morals, Madonna, is launching a line of children's books.

Explaining her noble motive for delving into kiddie lit, she condemned the "vapid and vacant" stories she was reading to her children. "There were, like, no lessons. ... There's, like, no books about anything."

Like, nice grammar.

Reacting to lowered standards of decency on television last year, she indignantly exclaimed, "People have no morals, I swear to God."

I know what she means. You can see just about anything on television, like an aging pop star following her 5 yr. old daughter onstage to play dominatrix with 2 young and foolish scantily clad pop stars.

What kind of mother would do that?

Soundless Music

So-called "soundless music" may be responsible for many alleged paranormal experiences.

British scientists have shown in a controlled experiment that the extreme bass sound known as infrasound produces a range of bizarre effects in people including anxiety, extreme sorrow and chills -- supporting popular suggestions of a link between infrasound and strange sensations.

We lived in a haunted house once....my daughter saw a lady all dressed in white standing in our bedroom doorway. I saw a weird strand of smoke move down the hallway & begin to grow bigger. (I didn't stick around to see what happened next) She often poked around in the kitchen....which would usually cause my dog at the time, a big very protective boxer, to alert & start growling. Finally, one night I was sitting in the living room watching tv and the doors on the kitchen cabinets kept opening & closing...I was the only one home. I yelled "Hey, do you mind? That's really annoying." The noises stopped and I never heard those particular sounds again. Weird, huh?

We never felt threatened or anything, though we would certainly get startled on occasion. She always seemed to me like some poor lost soul, who had somehow gotten caught between this world and the next. I've had a lot of weird things like that happen to me over the years, but really have no idea what caused them.

So what do you think about ghosties & things that go bump in the night? Are they real or just a product of poorly understood natural phenomenon and an overactive imagination?

Rank This

Andy's discovered that both he and I are highly ranked on a Google search for "bacon fried in lard".

But hah! I'm number 1 and 2 respectively for "batter dipped lard sticks fried in lard".

Now who's your daddy?

New 9/11 Tape Found

A new tape of 9/11 has surfaced, which shows the impacts of both planes. The NYTimes has the details and also has link to an audio slideshow of clips from the tape.....which the tape's owner says they neither own nor have his permission to run. Like that's a big surprise.

Or like I will ever forget the horror of that day, or the OKC bombing.

Get over it? Not until we've hunted down & destroyed the last one involved.

Football Saturday

Tonight's the season opener for the Razorbacks against Tulsa. *yawn* Next weekend's game against Texas is what I want to see. We picked up Bubs early this morning so we could miss the worst of the traffic on I-540. The traffic is horrendous on the street in front of the house now....a steadily increasing stream of faithful Hawg fans.

In our best hillbilly tradition, Mike & I were sitting out on the porch swing having a smoke while Bubs was napping, and we were watching all the cars. Mike remarked that if he had a spike strip, he could pile 'em up for miles. I replied I was glad he didn't because then we'd have to put up with 'em all.

He said that was the plan, he'd charge 'em $1 a glass for Kool-Aid & $10 to use the phone. "Not me," I said. "I'd tell 'em to go use the pay phone that was somewhere over on the far side of the cemetery."

*rocking stops* "I didn't know there was a pay phone in the cemetery," Mike remarked quizzically.

"There's not," I replied. "But it would be fun to see how long they'd look."

*rocking resumed*

I can't wait to become a crotchety old lady.

People's Republic

The city of Fayetteville continues its march toward become a commune of hippy-dippy freaks...led by our esteemed Mayor Dan. Not satisfied with killing businesses by banning smoking in them, the next target is those evil smoking drivers who litter.

"We have all agreed that was one of our paramount things we need to do here," Mayor Dan Coody said. "Littering is not acceptable. We want to look like we’re sophisticated and educated and clean. That will help us in all our endeavors."

Yeah, that's what gives NYC its sophistication, all those sparkling clean streets. I hear Tianamen Square is normally spotless too, but I don't think I want to live there.

In the first six months of 2003, the city collected about four tons of litter, Coody said, adding that about 70 percent of the trash collected was cigarette butts. "Every time someone throws down a cigarette butt, that is littering," he said. "But that’s just the tip of the iceberg."

Mayor Dan seems to have a real hard on for smokers, don't he? Don't get me wrong, the world is not my ashtray, but this is absurd. Let's see, 70% of 4 tons is....a helluva lot of cigarette butts. Funny, I don't remember seeing those big mounds around town, but I guess it's one of those things that you're so used to seeing that you don't really notice it anymore.

But never fear. Mayor Dan has a solution.

At the press conference, [Capt.] Johnson announced post cards that citizens can keep in their cards [sic] and mail in when they see someone litter.

When the police department receives the cards, the report may prompt an investigation or, most often, the offending citizen will get a warning letter from the Chief of Police. "If you get the same license plate over and over, you know you’ve got a problem," Coody said.

Now there's a winner, isn't it? Citizens as anonymous informers on their neighbors....where does he get these ideas?

You know, I've lived here since 1996 and have loved most every minute of it. But the changes Mayor Dan has made over the last year or so have me thinking seriously about moving.

Of course there's always the upcoming election.

River Rat

One of the things I love about reading Jennifer's blog is the way she can make me homesick with just a few sentences....like this:

When I was a kid, my favorite season was summer. I couldn't wait for it to get hot every year so I could spend the next 2 months immersed in the Buffalo River.

I too was a Buffalo River rat....swimming at Big Rock, endless float trips from Maumee to the Hwy. 14 bridge, camping at Step Eddy and Buckin' Shoals, late night jitterbugging at Red Bluff, catfishing at the Blue Hole, cutting school with my friends on warm April afternoons & driving up to the Hwy. 65 bridge to jump from Little Cedar & then clambering out shivering to bask in the sun. The water temp in April is a little brisk, to say the least, but we didn't care. The siren song of the river was too strong to resist....not that we fought it particularly hard.

The float/camping trips were always my favorite. I could swim & fish to my heart's content. Then, late at night, my tummy full of fried 'taters and bass fillets, I would drowse by the campfire, listening to the symphony of bullfrogs, cicadas & crickets, and the occasionally WHOOMP of a big bass hitting something on the top of the water.

Shining times indeed. And Jennifer brings that all back with just a few words.

Thanks, girl.

Disneyland Coaster Derails

According to CNN, Disneyland's Big Thunder Mountain Railroad coaster derailed, injuring at least 11. Fox says that one person was killed, 10 were injured.

Keith, we may have to find a new hobby.

Friday Five

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most? Whew, that's a toughie. Cleaning out the fridge or the bathtub drain is prolly at the top of that list. Either of those usually makes me barf.

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing? I don't mind doing most of it, it has to be done and I have more time to do it than Mike. I like doing laundry and ironing...like David says, there's just something about the smell and feel of freshly laundered clothes. And I love crisply ironed shirts.

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed? We usually clean on Sundays, otherwise it's when we have time or when the mess starts getting to us...which isn't that often. : )

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules? Don't leave pots & pans full of nasty water in the sink. Replace the damn toilet paper roll.

5. What was the last thing you cleaned? Uhhh, the bedroom ceiling fan I think. It had been a while, to put it mildly. I've been taking breaks from homework and cleaning today because we're getting Bubs for the weekend....which also means I'll be cleaning again after he leaves Sunday. You see, he will often pause during his playing, survey his path of destruction and proudly proclaim "Mess!"

I always agree.

Chickens Is Stupid

I've been following the PETA/KFC fuss about KFC's alleged "inhumane" treatment of chicken with much amusement....primarily because it's such an outstanding illustration of how little PETA understands about the animals it purports to protect, in this case the lowly chicken.

For you see, chickens is stupid in ways that non-chicken owners fail to understand. Take for example the beak-trimming that PETA's all up in arms about....it's necessary to prevent chicken-on-chicken violence. Chickens, like many extremist liberals, do not tolerate diversity. A chicken that is perceived to be different will be attacked and pecked to death by the others in its flock....come to think of it, chickens are a lot like extreme liberals.

There isn't much room in their little chicken brains for independent thought, so most of their behavior is instinctual, hard-wired...pre-coded if you will. Most of their thoughts revolve around food/not food, mate/not mate and threat/not threat. They do not read Foucault or Marx...they remain unaware of their oppression. Try reading to a chicken sometime, you'll see what I mean.

And chickenhouse chickens have it pretty good by chicken standards....all the food & water they could ever want, climate controlled environment, protection from predators. I doubt they dream of chasing grasshoppers through the meadow....in fact, I doubt chickens dream at all. Sure their lives are short, but not as short as they would likely be if they were set free. There's a reason hens lay so many eggs, few of her offspring would survive out in the cold, cruel world. We're not the only ones that think chickens are tasty, you know.

This is not to say that because chickens is stupid they don't deserve humane treatment....all creatures do. But gassing them as PETA proposes strikes me as being particularly cruel, trapped in a room, fighting to escape as the air slowly turns poisonous. They may be stupid, but they can understand there's a threat in that situation. A ride on a conveyor belt and a quick off with their heads is far less stressful because they have little or no idea of their impending doom. They probably think they're on some fun carnival ride on which there'll be food at the end because, you see, chickens is that stupid.

So weep not for our fine feathered friends, they don't have it so bad in the overall scheme of things. Eat and be eaten is the way of the world....happens to us all. I'd bet chickens would take a relatively safe & comfortable life followed by a quick death over the uncertainties of wild living followed by a painful death from a predator any day.

Maybe chickens ain't so stupid after all.

Depp Retraction

Johnny Depp is dancing a little sidestep about his anti-American remarks.

Explaining his comments a day later, Depp said he had been using a metaphor that was taken "radically out of context," adding, "There was no anti-American sentiment."

"What I was saying was that, compared to Europe, America is a very young country and we are still growing as a nation. My deepest apologies to those who were offended, affected, or hurt by this insanely twisted deformation of my words and intent."

Yeah, I can see how your statements about being happier living in France and how your kids should "see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out" were like totally misinterpreted.

Got a call from your agent, didn't you?

Moral Equivalency

Jonah Goldberg makes an excellent point about the "Bush=Hitler" crowd in today's WaPo:

The Nazis murdered millions of men, women and children. Their victims weren't "collateral damage" in a war, and they were not executed after a long and fair trial. The Nazis sent their victims to gas chambers and ovens in boxcars. Nazi scientists injected dyes into the living eyes of small children to see if they could be made "Aryan." They made soap out of people.

What on earth has George Bush done that deserves such comparisons? What could he possibly do?

If you're going to call the man a Nazi, show me the children with tattoos on their arms. Show me the stockpiles of emaciated corpses. Show me files cabinets full of memos detailing how Bush and Cheney plan on disposing of millions of dead American citizens killed with poisonous gas.

If you can't show me any of these things - and you can't - then stop calling the man a Nazi. Because when you say he's no different from Hitler, you are also saying that Hitler is no different from George Bush. And that means that Hitler's crimes were no worse than George Bush's "crimes." And whatever you think of what George Bush has done or might do, if you think any of it is the moral equivalent of the Holocaust, you are in effect saying the Holocaust really wasn't that bad.

And that is moral equivalency, and anti-Semetism, at its very worst.

A Damn Shame

You know, this is a damn shame.

Chronically short of musicians for military funerals, the Pentagon has approved the use of a push-button bugle that plays taps by itself as the operator holds it to his lips.

Next best alternative, but still....seems to me like we could show more respect.

Thanks and praise ...
For our days ...
Neath the sun ...
Neath the stars ...
Neath the sky ...
As we go ...
This we know ...
God is nigh ...

Umm-hmmm

There's a fungus among us, and it's contributing to global warming.

Tiny fungi that live under the Rocky Mountain snowpack get busy reproducing in the winter and may affect global warming, U.S. scientists said on Thursday....Unlike most life, which hibernates or hunkers down in the winter, these fungi proliferate -- creating measurable amounts of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the researchers said.

Fungi farts, that's the cause of global warming.

What'll they think of next?

Kerry's True Confession

"I must confess...."

C'mon, click on the link...you know you want to hear it.

Trust me.