Res Ipsa Loquitur

Interesting

Found this interesting site via amcgltd....and found picture proof of what I told Mike the other night.

Mike I sezs, this girl had better be glad she's rich cuz without that million dollar makeup job, she'd be so dog-butt ugly no one would give her a second look.

Mee-oow you say?

Fine, but you know I'm right.

Moderately Interesting

Today's Friday Five:

You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first? My CPA. Duh.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself? The first thing I would do would be pay off my car & credit cards. Then I'd buy an unlisted number. Other than a house with a fenced yard so I don't have to walk the dogs every morning at 5 a.m., I can't think of anything else expensive that I want.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else? I'd buy Mike that honking huge plasma screen tv/monitor he's been drooling over for the last year.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom? Hell no. Let 'em buy their own lottery ticket. Seriously, I'd probably set up a scholarship fund for my alma mater's Honors program. For all its leftist, liberal, post-modernist leanings, it's still a good program.....and I could pay back all the money they gave me when I was there.

5. Do you invest any? If so, how? Definitely. But I'd want to talk to a financial planner and my CPA before deciding in what I'd invest.

What would you do?

Uninteresting News

Today's local forecast: 35 degrees, Sunny.

Today's reality: 11 degrees, Snowing.

One of my co-workers said that he believes weather forecasters throw a pair of dice with different forecasts printed on every side to come up with their forecasts.

I'm beginning to think he's right.

Old Timers

Two Benton Co. men tried to settle a property line dispute the old-fashioned way.

Richard Paul Stock, 79, was charged with aggravated assault and resisting arrest after his neighbor, 66-year-old Keith Boldt, dialed 911 and told police that Stock had pointed a gun at his head and threatened to shoot him after the pair had a disagreement over a shared property line. In his statement to police, Boldt said that after threatening to shoot him, Stock had struck him in the neck with the barrel of either a rifle or shotgun.

Like I said, the quickest way to piss off a hillbilly is to mess with his property. And this guy was apparently pissed off to the highest point of piss-tivity.

First at the scene, Lt. Jesse Martinez, an officer with the Little Flock Police Department, said that when he arrived at the Boldt home, Stock was trying to leave the area in a Chevy Blazer. When confronted, the elderly man refused an order to get on the ground and became increasingly belligerent, leading to a scuffle that injured the officer’s left knee. "He kept reaching down for something in his vehicle," Martinez said. "He’s a tough old man — it eventually took four of us and some pepper foam to subdue him."

4 deputies and pepper foam to subdue a 79 yr old man.

That's one pissed off hillbilly.

Clown Bandit Alert

Missouri police are looking for a really dumb guy.

The man robbed a liquor store earlier this week amid a comedy of errors, all of them caught on surveillance tape.

Eventually, the thief leaves it all behind. The stolen goods were valued at just 30 dollars.

When caught, he's facing a 5 yr. sentence...with nothing to show for it.

SuperBowl Stats

Wow I just can't wait to work this weekend.

-- More than 2.6 million pounds or 246 miles of Land O' Frost Premium
lunchmeats will be sold at Wal-Mart Supercenters prior to Super Bowl
Sunday, roughly the distance from Houston to Dallas.
-- Laying all the deli party trays end-to-end that Wal-Mart sells for
Super Bowl Sunday would equal the height of 17 Sears Towers in
Chicago.
-- Wal-Mart will sell enough frozen pizzas to stretch the length of the
Grand Canyon, nearly 300 miles in length.
-- Wal-Mart will sell enough Velveeta(R) cheese this week to fill an
entire Olympic size swimming pool, or 115,000 gallons.
-- Wal-Mart will sell enough Planters(R) dry roasted, honey roasted, and
cocktail peanuts for Super Bowl Sunday that, if you stacked the
containers on top of one another, they would equal the height of
108 Empire State Buildings.
-- An average Wal-Mart store will sell enough soft drinks to fill two
average-sized swimming pools, or 15,000 gallons of soft drinks.
-- More than 2 million pounds of ice are used by consumers during the
three days leading up to the Super Bowl, which is roughly the weight
of one space shuttle rocket booster before ignition or 1,000 full
grown elephants.

Man are my arms gonna be tired!

Shotgun Totin' Granny

Natalie's description of me as a shotgun-toting granny reminded me of a story my dad told me once about one of my great-aunts.

Like to hear it? Here it goes....

Now, the first thing you have to understand for this story to make sense is that to a hillbilly, land is sacred. I've always figured that was because this area was largely settled by the dispossessed....Irish, Welsh, Cherokee and so on. At any rate, it hasn't been all that long ago when killing someone who had messed with your property was considered justifiable homicide.

Anyhow and anyway, I had a great-aunt that I just adored. She looked just like Mrs. Santa Claus....plump and always laughing. She made the best chicken-n-dumplings I ever ate. Her house, like her person, was always neat as a pin...and filled with knick-knacks and frilly doilies. She was one of the kindest, nicest relatives I knew, wouldn't hurt a fly....or so I thought.

She and her husband owned a piece of property out our way....nice little farm that had been in the family since it was homesteaded back in the 1830's (and that I now own, but that's another story). But not too long after her husband passed away, my dad, who was helping her keep an eye on the place, discovered that one of the adjoining neighbors had moved their common fence way over the property line.....taking up much of a large hayfield.

Now while it is true that many of those old property lines aren't too accurate, it was the general community opinion that this jackass was trying to take advantage of a widder-woman....and that didn't sit too well with my great-aunt. She got my dad to take her down there to see what had been done, and as chance would have it, the neighbor was down there. My dad said she lit into him like a mad hornet, calling him every name in the book and ending her ass-chewing with "You son-of-a-bitch, if I had a gun I'd kill you where you stand."

Mrs. Santa Claus was pissed.

Luckily no one had a gun and the whole mess ended up in court where the neighbor got an ass-chewing from the judge and was made to move the fence. Think the neighbor learned his lesson? Wrong.

My dad eventually bought the place from my great-aunt, and it's now passed to me. But my dad still helps keep an eye on it, and not too long after the title had been recorded in my name he discovered that the neighbor had been on my property. The jackass had cut a large cedar and used it for a gatepost right there in plain sight. You'd think he'd know better than to mess with the females in my family.

I told my dad to let it be know that if I ever caught that jackass on my property, I'd shoot him. And if any more trees were cut, he'd find himself in court so fast it'd make his head spin....where he would be paying 7 times the worth of the trees under Arkansas law.

End of problems with the neighbor.

I think my Aunt Omie would've been proud of me.

Meme Time

Since all the cool kids are doing it, here's mine:

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

Mike & I are thinking Montana should be the next on our list, though we're wondering when would be the best time to visit....sometime when it's warm definitely.

By Popular Request

Here's what I look like....and a big thanks to Craig for showing me how to post it.

I'm With Him

David has done an excellent job reminding us all how fortunate we are.

Thank you, God, for America. Good, bad, and ugly, America is Beautiful and I am kissing the American soil that I was born and raised on. Thank you God for hospitals that you emerge from without being raped or shot while you're inside. Thank you God for being able to dial 911 and know that someone who knows what they're doing will not be far away. Thank you God for firefighters, paramedics, police and soldiers, doctors and nurses.

Go read why we should be thankful.

Cyber Alert Sign-Up

Homeland Security has a new cyber alert system in place today.

Homeland Security officials unveiled on Wednesday a new cyber-alert system to help protect the nation from attacks on computer-based networks and to prevent any attacks elsewhere from affecting cyberspace.

Just go to US CERT for the latest alerts, to report a suspected attack or sign up for their alerts-by-email service.

Interesting idea.

Questions, Queries, Posers

Since I have a ton of homework to catch up on today (since I took advantage of the snow days to totally goof off), I decided to offer you dear reader the chance of a lifetime.

What's the one question you've always wanted to ask me, but haven't?

I'll be dropping by from time to time today & will answer in the comments. (I also reserve the right to delete anything that goes outside the bounds of good manners and common decency so behave yourselves.)

I already know what one question will be.....

....it's "Rita, why do you buy day-old cinnamon rolls from the bakery? Sure they're half-price, but they're incredibly stale and inedible."

Ah yes, but I know the secret. Wrap the stale cinnamon roll in a damp paper towel and microwave on defrost for about 25 seconds. Wait about 30 seconds and microwave on defrost for another 25 seconds or so. Unwrap and enjoy. It'll taste like it's fresh from the oven.

Now me & my steaming hot cinnamon roll have to go learn how to use SQL in Access.

If You've Ever Wondered...

....what the trials I used to do were like, here's an unpublished appellate court opinion that is fairly typical. In fact, you might say I was intimately familiar with just such a case.

Of course, I'm prohibited by confidentiality and ethics rules from making any comments about any specific case in which I was involved**. But since this opinion is in the public record, I thought you might like to see why I firmly believe in court-ordered lobotomies for child molesters. Prison only puts them out of action for a relatively short time. Lobotomies last forever.

Like that would ever happen.

**But if you'll look in Section III, second paragraph, last sentence, you'll see why I think cross-examination of some witnesses can be so much fun. People said the damnedest (and most damning) things if you ask the right questions. And the preceding sentence illustrates how important it is to be able to elicit testimony from a child.

I'm particularly good at that.

Another Move

David has moved to his very own domain. Now I know why my blogroll wasn't showing any updates from him.

And shame on me for not checking sooner.

Worm Warning

In case you haven't heard, there's a new worm that's spreading like wildfire.

All that the worm needs to propagate is a user that has an open Microsoft Windows preview pane in Outlook.....If this Outlook pane is open, the worm automatically scours the user's contacts and files. Based on the information gathered, it rapidly sends infected E-mails out to other users, said one solution provider.

I'm pretty sure I've already gotten a copy this morning. At least it appeared to have the telltale characteristics. I didn't open it to confirm my suspicions though. I'm not that dumb.

This one not only tries to email itself to everyone in your address book, but it also tries to launch a DOS attack against www.sco.com. Hmmm. Gee I wonder who wrote this one?

Good Dog!

A very large & scary-looking man just knocked on my door. Stupid me, I thought it was Mike, who should be arriving home from work any minute, so I opened the door without looking. The man started to come in the door when I opened it as he asked me if I had any gas. My instant thought was F*ck me, my pistol's in the bedroom.

Until "I will rip you to shreds if you enter my mommy's personal space" Sassy poked her head out the door that is. Then the large and scary man immediately took two steps backwards to the very edge of the porch, and quickly left after I told him I didn't have any gas, sorry.

Poor guy, I'm fairly certain he was really needing gas & he was shivering from the cold. But the only way he was coming in my house was through my very large & scary Akita. And I don't think he was interested in trying.

She got a good dog treat of course. Sollie too, even though all he did was yip his bloody head off.

It's the thought that counts.

Party Poopers

I've been sitting here watching cars spin & slide on the hill in front of our house....one even slid completely off the road & down the bank into the cemetary.

The stupid salt truck just came through & spoiled everything. It's just no fun if no one spins helplessly sideways into oncoming traffic.

Party poopers.

Just for Fun

Voting done, errands run, bills paid, laundry almost finished. Now I'm just sitting here waiting for the snow to start in earnest.....and reading this just for fun.

You had no idea how sick & twisted I really am, did you?

UPDATE: And right on cue, the snow has started. Sweet!

Anti-American Artistry

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not much of an 'artiste', but WTF is this article doing in the NYTimes Arts section?

Right now many Europeans are betting that the risks from the "axis of evil," from terrorism and tyrants, will never be as great as the risk of an American Leviathan unbound. Perhaps it is in the nature of a postmodern Europe to make such a judgment. But now may be the time for the wisest heads in Europe, including those living in the birthplace of Pascal, to begin asking what will result if that wager proves wrong.

Of course there is a right purty pichure of a big balloon. Maybe that's why.

Better Solution

The US military is looking for a solution to the problems being caused by Saddam's rat-hole.

"In order to avoid making it a tourist attraction and/or a shrine, we believe the best course of action is to eliminate it," 4th Infantry Division spokesman Master Sgt. Robert Cargie said.

One of the things they're looking at doing is filling in the hole & tearing down the surrounding buildings.

I've got a better idea.

Old- Fashioned Decorum

Someone please tell me that Dean is just joking.

Dean yesterday promised that if he's elected president, there will be more formal state dinner parties and a new medical practice where patients may be treated at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. by his doctor-wife, Judy.

Excuse me?

"She's going to continue to be a doctor," Dean said yesterday of his wife.

"She's good at it and I think she should. I think we'll have some arrangement that hasn't been tried before where she gets to see patients. I don't think it's insurmountable."

Boy the Secret Service is gonna love you.....not.

Taking questions from New Hampshire voters at a Lions Club, Dean complained that President Bush - who years ago swore off alcohol and likes to go to bed early - hasn't held enough parties at the White House.

Yeah Nero, that's just what we need. A President that parties more.

I may be old-fashioned, but I find such cavalier attitudes towards the office of president extremely offensive. It's not just another job. The White House is not a doctor's office, frat house or Clinton's massage parlor. Those kind of actions tell me that you do not have any respect for the office you hold (or will hold). So why should anyone else respect you as the officeholder?

Besides, can you imagine what she would charge for an office visit?

No Surprises

Local news roundup:

--The Arkansas Supremes are taking over the state school system. No surprise here, since the legislature blew off the Court's deadline for bringing the schools into constitutional compliance and the Gov & legislature have been battling over school consolidation.

Choice quotes from yesterday: Justice Brown: "We gave the state 14 months to implement a new system and that wasn't complied with. It's really not even close, is it?" The Gov.: "Far too much time has been wasted trying to appease political and parochial pressure rather than to please the court and prepare for the future by presenting a plan that delivers education effectively and efficiently." Rep. Kenix (Ft. Smith): "There are positive merits of the action. We have thumbed our noses at the court for most of the time."

Can we say 'clusterf*ck'?

--A parked Fayetteville police car was hit head-on at the corner of Wedington & Betty Jo. Not surprisingly, that part of Fayetteville is called 'Betty Jo Corner', a/k/a 'Crackhead Heaven'.

--And finally, a Pocahontas former district court judge and his son were surprised by a court ordered drug test during their trial for mailing a live copperhead snake to a guy with whom they were having a dispute. I'll bet no one was surprised when the drug tests came back positive on the father for meth, amphetamines and pot & positive on the son for pot.

When I'm Good....

I'm very good. But when I'm bad....well....buckle your seat belts boys, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Link via the almost always good Natalie.

In the Money

I commented recently over at Paul's that it seemed to me that Braun was in the presidential race for the money....but it looks like I didn't know how right I was.

Cracker Barrel Philosopher has the details.

Google Bombing

Hey Steve, didja see this in this morning's NYTimes?

TIME was - say, two months ago - when typing the phrase "miserable failure" into the Google search box produced an unexpected result: the White House's official biography of President George W. Bush.

But now the president has a fight on his hands for the top ranking - from former President Jimmy Carter, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton and the author-filmmaker Michael Moore.

The article actually has a fairly accurate, if sneering, history of the art of Google bombing. The author however makes his opinion of it clear.

Clearly, anyone who goes through life trying to manipulate search engine results would have to be called a miserable failure. And how many of them can there be?

More than you think, Mr. McNichol.

Juvenile yes, but grownups like it too.

Oh My Goodness

My eyes! It burns! Make it go away.

Local PSA

For all two of my local Fayetteville readers, don't forget about the election on Feb. 10th to repeal the asinine smoking ban. And early voting at the county clerk's office begins Monday, Jan. 26th.

Vote early and vote often. And don't forget to vote for your dead relatives. They'd want you to, and it's an Arkansas tradition.

Liberal Blacklist

A group of Republican students at the University of Colorado are giving their liberal professors a taste of their own medicine.

Republican students at the University of Colorado launched a Web site to gather complaints about left-leaning faculty members, saying they want to document discrimination against conservative students and indoctrination to the liberal viewpoint.

And their professors don't like it much.

"I'm shocked the students would resort to this," said Barbara Bintliff, a CU law school professor and chairwoman of the Boulder Faculty Assembly. "I'm concerned they may wind up with a blacklist"

Travis Leiker, 22, president of the College Democrats at CU, said classrooms are full of different perspectives. "I think the conservative students who feel there is a bias are more afraid of hearing points of view different from their own," he said.

I hate to burst their bubble, but I've yet to attend a law school or university that didn't have an unofficial 'blacklist' of its professors. That's one of the first things a student does when entering a new school....find out which instructors to avoid and which ones to take. I mean, DUH.

And conservative students catch hell for their views from both faculty & other students. I've seen it. It ain't pretty.

My prediction for 2004 and beyond is that we're going to see a lot more of this. Conservatives using the liberals' "anything goes" philosophy to bite them in the ass. After all, in a world of "who's to say what's good or bad and all voices should be heard", it's pretty easy to turn that around to justify anything....including a conservative or religious viewpoint.

Like my daddy allus said, what goes around comes around.

Move On

Just have a second, but I had to point to this most excellent interview by Evan Coyne Maloney of some MoveOn.Org supporters. (Many thanks to Charles for the link)

It speaks for itself. Go watch.

Wanna Play?

Tim Blair is having a "Go Nuts Like Dean" contest. Here's my entry:

And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Oil Trough, we're going to Prim and Fifty Six and the Buffalo and Big Flat and Possum Grape! We're going to Nimrod and Back Gate and Ozone! And we're going to Nail and Point Peter and Snowball and Hogeye! And then we're going to Blue Ball. To take back Arkansas! YEEEHAAAAWW!!

Hey it could happen.

Running Mate Rumor

Dean Esmay has pointed out an interesting insider rumor from Citizen Smash.

Dick Cheney will step down as VP candidate and the likely replacement is Giuliani.

Now before y'all start drooling, it's just a unconfirmed rumor at this point. But day-amn. That's a brilliant idea.

That'd put ol' Hillary's knickers in a knot, wouldn't it?

Caucus Carcasses

Kerry and Edwards' top finish in the Iowa caucuses last night surprised a few people....especially Dean. It shouldn't have really. Just goes to show that the pundits were right all along. Campaigning as the "Angry Anti-Bush" may get you a lot of attention from the press and the internet loonies, but a vocal minority does not equal a majority of votes.

It'll be interesting to see whether Dean makes major changes to his campaign or whether he'll have to get hit again with a big Cluebat^TM in New Hampshire before he gets it.

My money's on the Cluebat^TM.

Wild Weekend

About as wild as it gets for us anyway...WildChild & tons of homework. Best line of the weekend goes to, who else, WildChild. My daughter discovered after she left Sunday evening to take him back to his mom's that she had accidentally taken Mike's car keys. Upon hearing this, WildChild said disgustedly "Got Pa's keys. Blockhead!"

And my old boss called Sunday to see if I would be interested in coming back to work as a part-time cashier. I start Thursday. I've kinda missed those plump little checks that gave us a little extra breathing room in the old budget.

It sucks that ya gotta work to get 'em though.

Psycho-therapy

Mark Steyn on the differences between Dean and Clark.

So I would say Howard Dean is a sane man pretending to be crazy. Whereas Mr. Clark gives every indication of a crazy man pretending to be sane....At best, he's a thin-skinned, vain, insecure man with a need to insert himself at the center of every story; at worst, he's a paranoid megalomaniac narcissist.

'Nuff said.

Devil Went Down to Georgia

Howard Dean & spouse went to church with Carter yesterday morning....but seems some of the church's regulars were underwhelmed.

At the Marantha Baptist Church, where Carter leads regular Sunday school services, some parishioners were unimpressed with Dean; one asked him, "Are you running for something?"

Narf.

Twisted Sister

The NYPost is reporting the motivation for the recent first female Pali 'splodydope.

Her lover fitted her with the explosives belt and her husband drove her to the checkpoint where she would blow up herself and four Israelis - because she had to do "penance" for being an adulteress, Israeli officials said yesterday.

Both her husband and her 'lover' were Hamas militants. So since her adultery meant she would have to die anyway, she decided to become a 'martyr' to restore her family's honor.

Come live with me
and be my 'splodydope

That's some twisted shit, isn't it?

Politics Back in the Day

One of the local papers has a daily column featuring news from past editions. One entry from today's column caught my eye.

100 years ago Jan. 16, 1903 HOPE — Mayor Black’s court room was crowded with citizens, and details of the fight on Dec. 18 between Gov. Jeff Davis and Judge Carroll D. Wood were heard anew in the trial of the two candidates on charges of assault and battery and disturbing the peace.

A fistfight between the governor and a judge. Heh. Given the current pissing match battle between the governor, the state legislature and the state Supreme Court over Arkansas' unconstitutional school funding system and the struggle to meet the President's asinine "No Child Left Behind" standards, we may get to see another fistfight or three.

Arkansas politics. Not for the fainthearted.

Strange Find

Foxnews is reporting that 2 lbs. of yellowcake has been found in a shipment of scrap metal in Amsterdam. The shipment came from a dealer in Jordan, who claims a) he didn't know it was in there and b) it had to have come from Iraq.

The experts are saying that it isn't enough to be used for a weapon by itself, and everyone seems puzzled as to why & how it got in the shipment. Though I would think if one wanted to smuggle a large quantity, sending small amounts in disparate shipments would be the one way to do it. [/rank speculation]

Curiouser and curiouser.

Deep Fried Brains

IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, DON'T READ THIS.

The mad cow scare isn't stopping people in Evansville, Indiana, from enjoying one of their favorite treats....deep fried cow brain sandwiches. (Click on the link. There's a picture.)

The brains, battered with egg, seasoning and flour, puff up when cooked. They are served hot, heaping outside the bun.

They are traced back to a time when southern Indiana newcomers from Germany and Holland wasted little. Some families have their own recipes passed down over the generations.

And they think chitlins are gross. Wait, they are. And so is this...though it's apparently not a Yankee thing.

In California, in cities such as Stockton, cow brain is commonly sold as taco filling and sold from trucks. They are referred to by their Spanish name, "sesos."

In Texas border towns, barbacoa, made from the cow's head and brain, is served during the holidays.

Nasty.

Across the Ohio River in Kentucky, eating squirrel brain served with fried eggs was once considered a rural delicacy in some parts. Its popularity declined, however, after researchers in 1997 found a possible link between eating squirrel brains and contracting mad cow.

Now wait a minute. Squirrel brains are pretty tasty...like mild chicken livers. Except Mom usually boiled the entire cleaned head, then you crack the skull open and eat it like lobster. (And I know what you're thinking Bob. You're thinking "Ah, that explains everything." I don't have mad cow. I haven't eaten a squirrel brain in prolly 20 yrs. But what about you, Indiana boy, hmmm?)

Have I grossed you out yet?

Cool.

Earworm Solution

I heard an interesting theory on NPR while running errands today about earworms. (You know, when you get a song stuck in your head for hours) The cure, according to some scientists, is to listen to the complete song...they call it the completion theory. The theory is that you just get a snippet of the song stuck in your brain, and it can't finish the song. So if you'll listen to the entire song, your brain is satisfied. Or something like that.

The announcer also said that Mozart was particularly prone to them....to the point that his kids would torment him by playing a piece or the scales and stopping a few notes short of completion. It would bug him so badly that eventually he would run over and play the rest. Damn kids!

NPR then played Mozart's Flute & Piano Concerto No. something. I didn't get to hear the entire piece, and so.....guess what's stuck in my head now? AAAAGH!

I think I have it on CD somewhere. I hope.

Ever Wonder....

....what it would look like if a 1/2 million volt switch didn't work? There's also an explanation of how it happened.

Thanks to Bigwig for the cool link.

In Defense of Dean

"Wife Abuse Stunner" is the article's headline in today's NYPost....in which Howard Dean is, unfairly I think, criticized for writing a positive affidavit for an employee involved in a custody battle.

ABC News reported that in 1997, Dean took the highly unusual step as Vermont governor of intervening in a custody case for state trooper Dennis Madore, who headed his security detail for nine years.

At the behest of Madore's lawyer, a close friend, Dean filed an affidavit claiming the cop was "a firm but gentle disciplinarian" and "a wonderful parent," the report said.

However, the trooper apparently wasn't the nice guy he appeared to be.

The cop later admitted five separate instances of abuse, and his wife's lawyer said she suffers posttraumatic stress after "years of abuse in which she had been struck, had been pushed, shoved in front of the children."

Dean has said he didn't know about the abuse, which has caused some to question his judgment in signing the affidavit. I disagree. The cop had worked for him for 9 yrs., I'm sure Dean thought he knew him fairly well. And it's not likely that, in public, the family appeared to be anything other than a normal family.

I mean, seriously. I doubt that the cop ever smacked the shit out of his wife at some social gathering and then said to Dean, "Sorry, Guv'n'r. I saw that look she gave you and it won't happen again." That's not how it usually works. Most spousal abusers are those from whom "Just wait until I get you home" is no idle threat. They usually go to great lengths to keep their behavior hidden from society...and some of them are pretty damn good at it. Just think about how many times you've found out something similiar about someone you thought you knew well. This could've happened to you. Maybe it already has.

Now some of my regular readers may find it strange that I'm backing Dean on this one....I am not a Dean enthusiast, to put it mildly. But fair is fair....and this ain't fair.

Besides, it's not like there's not plenty of material for legitimate criticism of Howard Dean.

This isn't one of them.

Not Too Bright

A Ft. Smith man was arrested after calling police to report a robbery. WTH you say? Well it seems he weren't too bright.

Lawson, 30, of Fort Smith called police around 10:30 p.m. Sunday to report that two men he knew had just robbed him of his money and 4 to 5 grams of methamphetamine.

Lawson identified the robbers, and they were caught and charged. But Lawson was arrested, as well, when responding police officers found hypodermic needles and a set of digital scales in plain view in the motel room where Lawson was living.

After his arrest, Lawson also told police about some $5000 worth of forged checks he'd been passing.

Sheesh. What a goober.

Too Cool For School

Thanks to Paul, King of the Laid-Back Cool, I discovered that I am:

You are the Consummate Hipster. Newbies bow to
you, everyone else just stares, as you swagger
down the street with "Little Green
Bag" stuck in your head.


What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Whew! There for a minute I thought that said "with a little green bag stuck *on* your head".

That would not be hip and suave.

Low Down Downloading Blues

Sorry, but I've had to spend most of the day downloading class files. Which doesn't sound so bad, but the school's network is, shall we say, slow as freaking molasses in January. Multiple folders for multiple classes which contain multiple multi-Mb files over a slow network does not make Rita a happy camper. What happened to the good old days when the instructor handed you a diskette with all your data files on them? Oh yeah. The files are too big to fit on a floppy now. Thanks, freaking Access.

Now I have to go to my last night class of the week. Microeconomics. I'll try to resist poking a pencil in my eye to stay awake.

I hope it's not going to be as boring as I think.

Reflecting Absence of Taste

A super-sized silver Twizzler and 2 storm sewer drains do not make an appropriate Ground Zero Memorial. And why hide a "stone container to hold the unidentified remains of victims of the attack" 70 feet underground?

Out of sight, out of mind. Wouldn't want anyone to be 'offended' by obvious reminders of what happened there I suspect.

That's just wrong.

Technicolor Squirrels

Do dogs dream? I think they do. We've all seen them yip and growl in their sleep.....those are not pleasant dreams I suspect. But earlier today I was sitting on the couch, plowing through a reading assignment....my trusty pug sleeping beside me. He started doing that paw twitching thing....then tenative wags of his tail. Which began to wag faster and faster, so fast that I couldn't believe he was still asleep.

I leaned around my book to take a peek and I swear the dog was smiling....and sound asleep. I dunno what he was dreaming, but it was a very happy pug dream.

Bwahahaha!

Thanks to Saddam...err I mean Rodge, you all must send me ONE MILLION dollars or I will destroy the world with the powers of my overly large brain. Bwahahaha!

What Famous Leader Are You?

I mean BILLION...yeah that's it....ONE BILLION dollars!

No Guts, No Dinner

The USDA has banned the sale of cow guts tripas....and certain other tasty cow parts. (Link via Fark. Note to Farkers: Chitlins are made from hog guts in our neck of the woods. What are you guys, a bunch of damn Yankees?)

Other cow parts affected are the spinal cord. In addition, cow brains, tonsils and eyeballs, can only be sold for meat if the parts came from a cow less than 30 months old.

Good to know SlimJims and other mystery meat products won't be affected.

Not What He Meant At All

Paul O'Neill has 'clarified' his remarks about the President.

He described the reaction to Suskind's book as a "red meat frenzy" and said people should read his comments in context, particularly about the Iraq war.

What surprised him, said O'Neill, was how much priority was given to Iraq by the president.

He was surprised apparently because he'd seen no "concrete evidence" of WMD's. (Like a lot of you, I've been wondering why the Treasury Secretary would have access to that kind of information anyway) At any rate, Mr. O'Neill is now saying the lack of evidence of WMD's now only means they prolly weren't there, not that the Iraq war was wrong.

"I think the fact that we have not found them makes the point. But that doesn't make the point that we should not have got rid of Saddam Hussein."

So were his statements in the book misconstrued or is he engaging in a little CYA P.R.?

My jury's still out on that one.

Well I Swan

I sure never thought I live long enough to see the day the ACLU would file an amicus brief on behalf of Rush Limbaugh, "arguing state officials were wrong in seizing his medical records for their drug probe".

"For many people, it may seem odd that the ACLU has come to the defense of Rush Limbaugh," ACLU of Florida Executive Director Howard Simon said in a released statement.

"But we have always said that the ACLU's real client is the Bill of Rights, and we will continue to safeguard the values of equality, fairness and privacy for everyone, regardless of race, economic status or political point of view," Simon said.

That's pretty much a 180 from what I've observed from them over the last 20 odd years. Of course, they've always been against drug seizures, so maybe they just got confused this time.

No Illegal Immigrants Problem Here

I'm pretty dead set against allowing illegals to work here, but Singapore's punishment for overstaying a work visa seems a little harsh. (Link via Fark)

Balayian said that after being rounded up for overstaying, Indians, particularly Tamils, were stripped down to their underwear and forced to live in the compound of the immigration office in Singapore. They were not even allowed to bathe or shave.

The workers' savings were taken from them and their suitcases smashed by the authorities, the workers complained.

I know Singapore's always been hardcore about enforcing its laws.....but day-amn.

Better Mousetrap

Here's an interesting idea for travelers.....an express service for pre-shipping your luggage.

The process would work like this: Luggage Express, a subsidiary of Mr. Altomare's Universal Express, would come to your home or workplace, pick up your bags, and transport them to your final destination. They would employ the U.S. Postal Service, UPS, FedEx, Airborne Express — and perhaps an eventual new carrier that would rise to meet the need — to move the baggage from point A to point B.

Luggage Express already performs such services for certain high end customers. They insure everything. And after a decade of experience, they have not lost any baggage, not a single bag. By leveraging the buying power of their customers — in effect, a volume discount — they could get better prices than you or I could obtain on our own.

We would sure use it, if they guaranteed delivery & the cost was in the estimated $20-$30 range. A few extra bucks to avoid the hassle of luggage AND a guarantee that our stuff would be there waiting for us when we arrived?

Oh hell yeah.

PSA

In case you couldn't tell, not only did we have WildChild for part of the weekend, but also college started back today. Actually it started yesterday for me, with an orientation meeting for the online class I'm taking....which took 1 hr 20 mins instead of the 30 minutes it should've due to endless questions from some of my classmates. See, the instructor made the mistake of stating at the beginning of the meeting that there were no stupid questions, so feel free to ask if you don't understand.

Why do instructors say that? Students always prove them wrong. Like the guy who couldn't understand that once you download files from a website onto one of those portable USB drives, you don't need internet access to use the files. Even after the instructor explained that it worked just like saving to a diskette.

I'm not kidding. And this is an intermediate level class....you have to have taken at least of couple of computer classes to get into it.

The advantage of taking classes online is that at least I don't have to sit through class with this guy.

Making the Big Time Again

Scrappleface has been quoted in a WashTimes news column.

Political wags already have seized on the blame-Bush phenomenon.

"Democrats blame Bush for lunar eclipse," noted the news satire Web site Scrappleface this week, adding, "Senate Democrats have called for an investigation."

Congratulations Scott!

Yay Me!

One of the memory sticks went bad in my laptop last week and the FedEx guy just brought the replacement Mike ordered. Mike's still at work, so I popped it in all by my little self. It even works. So far.

Yay me!

You know, there's a world of difference between having 256MB RAM and 512 MB RAM.

Slow News Day

Slow day isn't it?

--New spam Trojan out this morning, hidden in a fake Microsoft update e-mail. Who is stupid enough to open those anyway? I know these are named after the mythical Trojan horse, but I always think of condoms when I see a Trojan alert.

--We're going back to the moon, then on to Mars. Why? Because we can.

--Dean reportedly said 4 years ago that Iowa caucuses were a waste of time and that Al Gore wasn't quick on his feet. Thank you for your valuable insight, Professor Obvious.

--The idiot who killed his ex in-laws & baby, and kidnapped his remaining kids was caught. The good news is that the kids weren't injured. Bad news is his attempted suicide was unsucessful. Too bad his aim wasn't better.

--The terror alert will be lowered to Mellow Yellow, though "some of the security precautions undertaken during the period when the nation was at orange alert will remain in effect". Whatever that means.

All His Fault

It's been a dreary, cold, damp day and I just made a big pan of brownies & ate a huge piece while it was still hot from the oven.....all because of Steve.

Sometimes I hate him and his oh-so-perfect Florida weather.

Like today.

Perception Is Everything

Funny how perception is everything, isn't it? Here I was complaining about my expensive Microeconomics book ($90), but I didn't bat an eye paying $93.25 for my Linux textbook. The difference? I'll actually use it though outside of class, as will Mike. That's right. Tremble in fear. We're going to learn how to use Red Hat.

You think they'd could've come up with a better name than Hello Linux!. I almost asked for the Hello Kitty! textbook at the bookstore.

Written by geeks, whaddya expect.

No Gun Necessary

A Canadian couple show that you don't necessarily need a gun for protection against burglars. (Link via Fark)

A good thing for the intruder that Gladys, 59, didn't find her rolling pin. If she had, he might have had a few more bruises to add to those he got being shoved down the stairs and pummelled by Gladys' husband Clifford, 66, and then struck repeatedly in the back by Gladys wielding her metal tea kettle.

The would-be thief pleaded for mercy....but Clifford didn't buy it.

"He kept yelling at me to stop hitting him because he was on drugs. But I told him I wasn't finished with him yet."

The burglar finally managed to get away, but was caught by police not too far from the home.

Heh.

Good job Gladys.

Family Tradition

I discovered while cleaning our home office yesterday that I had once again held up a long-standing family Christmas tradition. Much to my embarrassment. You see, pretty much every year since my kids were little, I either lose or forget someone's present.

I blame my daughter, who is so persistent in trying to find her presents before Christmas that I have to make sure they're all well hidden....often so well hidden that I forget where I put them or that they even exist. And not just her presents, everyone's. Because she's a big blabbermouth.

I thought I'd done so well this year. I'd checked and re-checked everything Christmas morning. But I had wondered briefly why no one had said anything about the stocking stuffers I'd gotten WildChild for his stocking at my sister's...but blew it off because he'd gotten so many toys I just figured he wasn't that excited by them.

But while cleaning the office yesterday, guess what I found? Yep. The bag full of popguns, xylophones and other annoying toys I'd gotten for WildChild to have at my sister's house to pay her back for all the freaking talking Barney crap she's always sending up here with him. I'd forgotten to pack them in his suitcase before sending him down there.

*sigh*

I'm hopeless.

Hijab Jihad?

The recent airline crash may have been no accident.

A press release issued this week by an al Qaeda affiliate out of Yemen claimed responsibility for the "downing of the airplane" with hundreds of French passengers and lost over Egypt. The claiming party, a man with an Egyptian accent, said he represents Ansar al Haq, an off-shoot of bin Laden's organization. But worse is that the man threatened more strikes if "Paris continues with its anti-hijab policy."

Of course, it's more likely that they are taking credit for what was really a tragic accident, but maybe not. Immediately after Chirac's speech about the banning of the hijab in schools, al-Jazeera broadcast this from a Qatar Muslim cleric:

"By all means and in all that we can do, we must resist and fight. The Arab world, the Muslim world and all Mujahedin around the world must help their brothers and sisters in France."

All that over something my beloved grandmother called a "head rag"*.

Ridiculous.

*as in "Hyear, you better git this head rag on afore yew go out to keep the wind outta yore y'ears." Because, as we all know, letting the wind blow unimpeded into your "y'ears" would inevitably lead to an "y'earache"....which could lead to the dreaded "new-moanie fever".

High Pitched

Physicists have found the reason we can't understand opera singers.

Physicists have discovered the reason why even operas sung in English are hard to follow. A study has found that in order for sopranos to be heard above the sound of a large symphony orchestra, they tune into resonances in their vocal tract to amplify the sound at the high end of their range.

Although this enables them to make a sound that can fill the Albert Hall, it sacrifices intelligibility because the vowels sung by sopranos in full voice all sound the same.

That ain't why I can't understand sopranos....it's because I have my fingers stuck in my ears. Don't get me wrong. I love opera. It's just that there's something about a soprano voice that just irritates the hell out of me...like fingernails on the chalkboard. It makes my teeth hurt. I want to run onstage & stuff my program down their throat so they'll stop.

Anybody else have that problem or am I just weird?

Auditors Will Clear Halliburton

Reuters is reporting that Pentagon auditors will clear Halliburton of all price-gouging charges...and they even manage to mention Vice-President Cheney twice.

Hell must be freezing over.

Class Act

Thanks to Dean, I have yet another reason to love Rumsfeld.

Intelligent, articulate and real class....he's one of the last of the old-time boys.

Temporary New Home

Mtpolitics had a server crash after he went out of town, so his temporary new home is here.

Big thanks to Jim for the heads up.

Change of Direction

Paul Krugman asks a variation of a question I've seen floating around a lot lately.

Have we confused the means with the ends in Iraq? When did it become a war for democracy instead of one designed to assure our national security? And just where does one end and the other begin?

Basically, the question is "When did the war in Iraq become a war for liberation of the Iraqi people rather than a war to eliminate WMD?" The answer for me is easy.

Iraq's WMD became of secondary importance to me when we discovered the children's prison and when the hundreds of mass graves were found. I believe that when we find such evil in the world, we have the moral obligation to stop it if we can. My own little "Never Again" philosophy of life. It is morally wrong to discount the deaths of so many people as unimportant.

Iraq has at least 271 suspected mass graves, each of which contains a minimum of five bodies.....International teams and newly trained Iraqis will examine and secure eight to 20 mass graves that were created from one of five major events during Saddam's reign — the 1983 execution of 8,000 Kurds, the 1988 Anfal campaign in which 182,000 people disappeared, the chemical attacks against Kurds between 1986 and 1988, and the 1991 massacres of rebelling Shi'ites and rebellious Kurds both of which rose up after the Persian Gulf war with the encouragement of the United States.

That's right. We're partially responsible for at least some of those deaths because we backed their rebellion, then left them to twist in the wind. Also, the above numbers don't take into account all the people tortured and killed individually at the whim of Saddam. How can any morally responsible person argue that we had no business toppling Saddam's dictatorship?

For me, it doesn't matter now if we ever find WMD's....though I suspect (Syria) we will in time. Whatever our initial reasons for the invasion of Iraq, we did the right thing.

Preventing mass murder is always the right thing.

Flappy Frog Lips

That's no way to catch a terrorist.

In France, officials are seeking a man with a bomb whose parts are small enough to get past airport security, ABC News reported. The Afghanistan-trained bomber was booked to fly from Paris to Los Angeles on Christmas Eve, but didn't show at the airport when his Air France flight was canceled, officials said.

The logical thing to have done was to delay the flight until everyone checked in, grab the suspect...then cancel the flight. But noooooo. French authorities had to announce the flight was canceled way before everyone checked in, allowing the suspected terrorist plenty of time to get away. Now they can't find him. Retards.

Why all the fuss?

Two al Qaeda terrorists with American passports and non-Arab physical appearances are believed to be planning assaults on trans-Atlantic flights from London, a U.S. official told The Post.

"American passports and non-Arab physical appearances". That's why I don't mind if everyone & their grannies get a good going over by airport security. Like child molesters, terrorists can look just like everybody else.

It's not like they have "Death to the infidels!" tatooed on their foreheads you know.

Must-See

Speaking of old movies, there's one coming on TCM at 8 eastern that you shouldn't miss. One of my favorites, Elia Kazan's A Face In the Crowd.

It's the evil Andy Griffith....always gives me the creeps.

Haw Haw Haw

Remember how Charlie McCorry laughed in The Searchers? That annoying, braying like a jackass "Haw! Haw! Haw!" That's what I did when I read about this.

Less then a month after the Dickson Street enhancements were officially completed, plans are underway to replace brick pavers and to resurface the Razorback at the intersection of Dickson Street and Arkansas Avenue.

The bricks were defective you see, and instead of repelling water they actually absorbed it. And there was plenty of it to absorb, thanks to this small leak underneath the intersection.

City Engineer Gary Coover said the rupture was discovered by an inspector who was conducting routine inspections. The inspector noticed a large amount of water flowing through the stone aqueduct that runs under West Avenue, he said, and when he climbed inside the storm drain, he found that one wall was pulsating and water was shooting out of cracks in the wall.

Why do I think that's so funny? Because it is such a perfect illustration of how the present city administration works. You see, when the refurb of Dickson Street started, construction workers discovered that not only were the utilities map they were given wildly inaccurate....there were also water & sewer lines down there dating back so many years that no one knew they were there. Instead of replacing them while the sidewalks & street was already all dug up, the city had them covered back up.

Now one of them ruined their pretty little brick Razorback-painted intersection because they'd rather paint over a problem rather than go to the trouble of fixing it right. So I say "Haw Haw Haw".

And if they don't fix it any better than the water line up the street from us that springs a leak in the same place about every 2-3 months, they'll be replacing that ugly pig painting again pretty soon.

Haw.

Explosion in Conway

There's been several huge explosions at Detco Industries in Conway, AR. The area surrounding the plant has been evacuated, since Detco manufactures industrial chemicals and currently the smoke from the fires is so thick that it can be seen on radar in Little Rock. There's reports that two people were burned, one critically. The cause of the explosions aren't known at this time.

No, it ain't terrorism. Shoot, like a terrorist could even locate central Arkansas on a map.

Freudian Slip?

Seems Hillary, leader of the party for minorities, made a little slip of the tongue Saturday.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton apologized for joking that Mahatma Gandhi used to run a gas station in St. Louis, saying it was "a lame attempt at humor."

Right. That's why there was "laughter from many in the crowd of at least 200". They were just sucking up, right? They didn't really think applying an ethnic stereotype to one of the greatest leaders of India was funny at all.

Sure they didn't.

New Level of Foolishness

The anti-smoking crowd has soared to a new level of foolishness. Enter the Cigarette Fairy. Now you're probably thinking, like I did, that a Cigarette Fairy is pretty cool....cough up a bit of lung, put it under your pillow at night and the next morning there'll be a pack of Marlboros under your pillow. Wrong.

The ads portray the Cigarette Fairy, a full-grown man assigned the task of picking up cigarette butts along Arkansas roadways.

Uh, I don't know how to break this to them, but we already have people that do this job. They're clad either in bright orange or the more traditional black & white stripes. They're called INMATES, and unlike the Cigarette Fairy, usually volunteer for the job.

Carrying a wand and clad in a tutu and a medieval princess-style headdress, the fairy is disgruntled with his current position. Because the boss says the cigarette-litter problem is really bad, it's not likely the Cigarette Fairy will be promoted to a more glamorous fairy post, such as Tooth Fairy, any time soon.

So, the Cigarette Fairy begs the public not to throw cigarette butts on the side of the road, or he'll never move up the fairy corporate ladder.

There's a fairy corporation? Who knew? I don't think eliminating the need for a Cigarette Fairy is going to get this guy promoted. Can't you just see his job eval? "Took out tv ad complaining about his job duties" "We're really sorry, Ciggie, but there's just no need for your position anymore. These security guards will escort you out, and best of luck to you." Sure if he'd just kept his mouth shut, he might've been transferred to the slightly more prestigious Beer Can Fairy....but noooo. He took out a statewide ad, so you know they're just looking for an excuse to get rid of him.

Of course, what do you expect? If the only job he could find was one normally done by INMATES, he couldn't be too bright.

All joking aside, Arkansas does have a huge litter problem. And I certainly don't condone adding to it. But you gotta wonder what ad exec came up with this "brilliant" campaign....and how he or she pitched it to state officials with a straight face.

I mean really. A Cigarette Fairy?

Like the rest of the world needs something else about which to make fun of us.

Family Trees

A historian has reportedly found evidence that the rightful heir to the English throne is a 62 yr. old Australian farmer, Michael Abney-Hastings.

I've no love for the British toffs myself, seeing how this used to belong to my dad's family (or so a cousin claims who's researched our ancestry). Y'all didn't know I was a direct descendent of Welsh royalty didja? Just think, I coulda been somebody....I coulda been a contender. Wait. I am anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

Getting rid of ol' FishFace, his mum and the rest of the inbred bunch might be the best thing that could happen to jolly old England, who knows? But I doubt it would be the best thing that could happen to Mr. Abney-Hastings.

Sticker Shock

I stopped by the college bookstore after lunch to pick up my books for next semester. I damn near went into cardiac arrest when I saw the price for a used Microeconomics textbook.

90 freakin' dollars.

I don't think so.

Sure it can also be used for Macroeconomics....a class that I will never take because a) it's not required for my major, and b) I'd end up throwing the thing at the instructor when he or she started touting Marxist theory as the most amazing thing since sliced bread. Not worth $90 to me.

So. Now I'll have to see if I can find a survivor of the class that wants to sell their copy on the blackmarket. Anyone got an extra copy of Economics-Wall St. Journal, 6th edition by McEachern gathering dust that they'd sell reasonable?

Pretty please?

Today's Great Start

Do you have any idea the size of the mess made by a 75 lb. Akita with an upset tummy?

I do now.

Yuck.

Give It A Nine

Andy reviews the latest OBL release and gives it a 9.

I was at the mall at 04:30 this morning, queuing to buy it. And I can tell you it was worth it. My reward for the wait was not virgins as far as the eye can see. It was a beautiful fusion of jazz, hip-hop, wanton rhetoric and frostbite. Separately I abhor them all but combined, they are a joy to behold.

You gotta go read the rest....it's hilarious.

Disembodied Voice Speaks

There's a new audio tape out supposedly from Osama.

The Arabic television channel Al Jazeera aired an audio tape on Sunday purported to be from al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden in which he mentioned the arrest of Iraqi president Saddam Hussein by U.S. troops last month.

Well, not exactly. It's not like Saddam was mentioned by name or anything.

Funny how none of the alleged Osama tapes that mention reasonably current events are video. Guess you can only get an audio link to Hell.

Let 'Er Rip

It was a balmy mid-60s when I got up around 6:30 this morning. (I know, like you care) Now it's a brisk 34 degrees and still dropping....and there's 100% humidity. We've got nowhere to be and plenty of groceries.

Come on ice storm!

New Car Design

Here's the 2005 Mustang. (Link via Fark)

Available in a 4.6 liter 300 hp V-8.

Sweet.

Mars Landing Successful

NASA's mission to Mars was a success.

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration began receiving the first of an estimated 60 to 80 images from Spirit's cameras late Saturday, just three hours after the robot made an apparently flawless landing on Mars.

You can view the first photos here, including this 360 degree composite panoramic view from the Rover.

How cool is that?

Capitol Evacuated

The BBC is reporting that the Capitol building has been evacuated.

The Capitol building in Washington - which houses the US Congress - has been evacuated after a "possible hazardous substance" was found in its basement....Police teams are in the building investigating the substance.

Haven't found any mention of this on any other news source, so there's prolly nothing to it.

Probably just some witches' brew Hillary left behind.

Get Over It

A bunch of Sunnis protested an US raid in a Bahgdad mosque yesterday.

Hundreds of Sunni worshippers gathered at the al-Tabool mosque in a rage-filled protest yesterday.

Protesters screamed and cried, chanting "God is great" and "America is the enemy of God."

Yep we did. Guess why?

Brig. Gen. Mark Kimmitt, a U.S. military spokesman, said yesterday troops had conducted the Thursday operation at al-Tabool mosque after a tip from Iraqis and netted a wide array of weaponry to be used against U.S. forces.

"Over recent months, the U.S. 1st Armored Division has received numerous reports from Iraqis that the al-Tabool mosque was being used for criminal and terrorist activities," Kimmitt told a news conference.

Sorry Bucky, but when you've stored "several sticks of high explosives, hand grenades, AK-47 rifles, rocket-propelled grenade launchers and thousands of rounds of ammunition" in a building, it's no longer a place for religious worship....and will be treated like any other weapons cache.

Get over it.

Threats and Rumors

The NYPost is reporting that there are specific threats causing the grounding of British Airways flights into D.C.

An al Qaeda terror team has been plotting to hijack Washington-bound British Airways Flight 223 and crash it into the nation's capital, officials said yesterday.

The information reportedly came from persons recently detained in terrorist roundups in Turkey and Saudi Arabia....and other sources. Homeland Security officials are confirming that they have "credible information about particular flight routes", but are flatly denying that the threats are against the White House.

Homeland Security officials yesterday denied an ABC News report that the government had information that terrorists were planning to crash an airliner in Washington.

"It's absolutely wrong," said department spokesman Brian Roehrkasse, who declined to provide details about threat information.

I'm not sure I believe that, given the terrorists past obsession with taking out targets they've previously hit. Of course in these situations, like my daddy always said, you can hear everything but the meat a-fryin'.

One thing is clear. Something's going on, about which we have some fairly specific intel. All these flights aren't being grounded for no reason.

Their actions speak much louder than their words.

A Bird in the Hand

The media is all a-buzz about Steve Irwin's latest stunt.

Crocodile hunter Steve Irwin took his month-old son to his first croc feeding on Friday, offering the reptile a chicken with one hand and holding the baby in the other.

All I could think when looking at the photo is it's a good thing he didn't get his hands mixed up.

Another Move

No, not me. I never go anywhere. But in case you hadn't noticed, Andrea's moved to Twisted Spinster.

Update your links.

The Answer Is....Naps

Today's Friday Five:

What one thing are you most looking forward to . . .

1. ...today? A nap.

2. ...over the next week? Not having to go to work or school so I can take a nap every day.

3. ...this year? Graduating again & getting a job so I can take power naps at work.

4. ...over the next five years? Earning enough money to retire so I can nap whenever I want.

5. ...for the rest of your life? Getting so old that people expect me to take a nap every day. "Now, now Miss Rita. Someone's getting a little too cranky so I think it's time for our nap."

I can't wait.

No Guarantees

The USDA's new ban on the food use of 'downer' cattle is no guarantee that the beef you eat is 'mad cow' free....and is in fact overbroad.

First, not all downers are diseased. Cows become unable to walk for a variety of reasons, some disease related, some injury related. Media hype aside, most of those are perfectly safe to eat. We've had cows that refused to walk after recovering from relatively minor injuries because, well, cows are just pretty damn dumb. Best I could tell, their thought processes went something like "Last time I stood up it hurt. Nope, not standing up again. Nosirree."

Second, not all cows that are infected with 'mad cow' show symptoms.

Indeed in Europe, where they test one out of every four cows, and Japan, where they test 100 percent of all cattle bound for human consumption, they have found a number of cases of mad cow disease in animals who appeared perfectly healthy.

Last year, we only tested about 10% of downers, so it was only chance that that cow that's making all the headlines was even checked. And she was unable to walk due to an injury from calving....not from 'mad cow'.

But, you're probably thinking, there's been a ban on mixing cattle parts into their feed for several years, so there's a low risk of US cows being infected. Think again.

The United States banned the feeding of the muscles and bones of most animals to cows and sheep back in 1997, but unlike Europe left gaping loopholes in the law. For example, blood is currently exempted from the U.S. feed regulations. You can still collect cow's blood at the slaughterhouse and feed blood concentrates to calves. In modern agribusiness, calves may be removed from their mothers immediately after birth, so the calves are fed milk replacer, which is often supplemented with cow blood protein. Weaned calves and young pigs may also have cattle blood sprayed directly on their feed to save money on feed costs.

And there's other potentially dangerous loopholes.

The U.S. feed regulations also still allow the feeding of rendered cattle remains to pigs, for example, and then the pig remains can be fed back to cattle. Or rendered cattle remains can be fed to chickens, and then the chicken litter, or manure, can be legally fed back to the cows.

Why? It's a very cheap source of protein for feed makers.

Clearly, the only safe response is first to mandate testing of all beef....and not just that intended for human consumption. There's some evidence that cats can get the disease, though it isn't known whether they can get it from eating tainted meat.

Second, we should ban the feeding of all animal parts to all animals intended for human consumption. If cows had been meant to be omnivores, they'd have sharp pointy teeth. I assure you they don't.

And just because we can process and make some use out of every part of a cow except the Moo doesn't mean we should.

Happy New Year!

2003 was remarkably like most other years. There were very good days and very bad days....and most fell somewhere in between in that no-man's land of quiet indifference. The most important thing is that we're all still here.

Since there was no way anyone could top Matt and Vicky's stupendous party last year, we decided to ring in the New Year by spending a quiet evening at home. Or as Mike called it, an "Inside and away from the windows" private party. I conked out way before midnight, but awoke trying to cough up a lung shortly after the New Year began. Mike wished me a Happy New Year, I replied "GACK" and went back to sleep. Exciting, no?

At any rate, here's wishing you and yours a happy and prosperous New Year. Don't forget to eat your black-eyed peas today to ensure good luck all this year.

Gadhafi Was Caught Red Handed

The WashTimes is reporting that it wasn't the Iraq war that caused Gadhafi to surrender his WMD program.....he got busted.

The United States intercepted an illegal shipment of thousands of parts of uranium-enrichment equipment bound for Libya in October, leading to Tripoli agreeing to cap its weapons program, U.S. officials confirmed yesterday.

Since Libya doesn't have a nuclear energy program, it was impossible to deny for what use the equipment was intended.

Now the US & Britain will be investigating just how extensive Libya's WMD program was....even though the IAEA doesn't want us there.

IAEA chief Mohamed ElBaradei said Tuesday he did not want American or British help on the ground in Libya.

"As far as I'm concerned, we have the mandate, and we intend to do it alone," he said.

But senior American officials confirmed an active U.S. and British role and said Libya's programs were far more extensive than the U.N. agency had disclosed.

How many times have we heard that a country's program was "far more extensive than the U.N. agency had disclosed"? As far as I'm concerned, given the IAEA's track record, they couldn't find their ass with both hands.

What are they good for anyway?