Res Ipsa Loquitur

Thank You Note

Dear Steve,

Your doughnut recipe is wonderful. As inept as I am with anything involving yeast, I just made some killer doughnuts with your recipe.

Thank you.

I guess now I'll have to buy your damn cookbook.

Sincerely,
Rita

True Story

One day when WildChild was at my parents', he insisted that Ginnky (my mom) sit down & play with his Play-Doh with him. She told him ok, but that she couldn't play very long because she needed to wash dishes.

Without missing a beat, WildChild turned to my dad and said "Poppy! Go wash dishes!"

And of course you know what my dad did.

The dishes of course.

Condi To Testify

The Bush administration have agreed to allow Dr. Rice to testify under oath before the 9/11 commission.

"The administration's reversal shows that it was using executive privilege as an excuse to keep Dr. Rice from testifying," said Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y. "But the dedication and bull's eye integrity of the commission has succeeded and now hopefully we will be a lot closer to the truth."

Be careful what you wish for, boys. I've a feeling you can't handle the truth.

And Dr. Rice is no Richard Clarke.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

We may get an minor league arena-stadium in neighboring Springdale soon.

Officials of Springdale's Chamber of Commerce are courting backers for an arena-stadium to be built near Interstate 540, according to Perry Webb.

Webb, chamber president and chief executive officer, said Monday the facility would house a Class A independent baseball team, a minor league hockey team and an Arena II football team.

Woo-hoo! Can we say "season baseball tickets"? I think we can. Good job Perry! [Disclaimer: Perry's wife is one of my better instructors at community college]

No surprise, the teams approached Fayetteville first, and got the cold-shoulder.

"Actually, the minor league teams made a big pitch to Fayetteville," Coody said. "They received kind of a cool reception because they wanted the taxpayers to build the facility. We didn't feel that was doable."

But the folks in Springdale were a bit more enterprising. Not wanting to use taxpayers' money, they starting actively searching for alternative financing.

"We're just inches away from signing an agreement with National Sports Services Inc. out of Kansas," Webb said. "The company deals with facilities, financing, financing groups and ownerships. They have a real good track record with facilities and ownerships."

I hope it works out. I've missed the crack of the bat on these warm summer evenings.

Really, is there any finer way to spend an afternoon?

Life Is Good

We just had a big dinner of baked chicken (drizzle w/olive oil, salt, pepper, seasoned salt & rosemary. Add chopped garlic about 10 mins. before it's done cooking), mashed taters, slimey lima beans (ok, so Mike likes 'em). I attempted to make butterhorn rolls, but being geometrically challenged I cut my dough into 8 pieces not 12. So I rolled 'em out into strips, dipped 'em in melted butter, twisted 2 strips together at a time and baked 'em anyway. They turned out right good.

Now we're all full and life is good.....or it will be as soon as I take this damn dog out for a walk so he'll stop bugging me.

It's all about the pug, you know.

Bible Quotes

John Kerry is now directing Bible quotes at Bush.

"The Scriptures say, 'What does it profit, my brother, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?' " Mr. Kerry told the congregation at New North Side Baptist Church. "When we look at what is happening in America today, where are the works of compassion?"

I got one for you, John.

Matthew 7:5*

*Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Turn on CSpan!

John Kerry's on there.....from a show taped in 1971 where he's debating a real Vietnam vet.

Go watch.

1 Out of 3

I've been loosely following a trio of federal cases that are likely to bring HIPAA-related privacy issues before the US Supreme Court. The history of the cases basically go like this.

Congress banned a medical procedure, performed by a minority of doctors, primarily on the grounds that it was not medically necessary and was a significant health risk to the patient. A few doctors and special interest groups sued to overturn the ban, on the grounds that the procedure was medically necessary. The government attorneys asked to see the doctors' medical records, with all patient-identifying information removed, that allegedly proved the doctors' claims and that would be the basis of their experts' opinion testimony.

For all you non-lawyers, that request is a standard element of any litigation. Both sides have access to the same information....and then they have the battle of expert witnesses. Nothing unusual. A standard rule of discovery. However, in these cases, the doctors have refused to turn over the information, citing patient privacy. So the government attorneys asked the respective judges to order that the information be released.

Now you would think this would be a no-brainer for the judges involved. Hell, I would think it would be a no-brainer for any second-year law student. A plaintiff refusing to turn over information that is dispositive of the central issue of a case that they brought? Absent some exception to the long-standing rule, at best that would get you laughed out of court. At worst, it would get you an ass-chewing from the judge and sanctions.

And the plaintiffs' claim of an exception of patient privacy is pure, unadulterated bullshit. The government attorneys asked that all identifying information be removed from the records. No privacy violation there. So how did the courts rule?

U.S. District Judge Richard Casey, hearing the case in Manhattan, ruled that New York-Presbyterian Hospital must comply. Judge Hamilton of San Francisco was among other judges who ruled that the medical records must remain private. [Ed. One of the other judges was that bastion of liberal sensibilities Richard Posner]

WTH you ask? Only 1 out of the 3 courts got such a basic rule of law right?

Ah yes, but the law that the doctors are seeking to overturn is the ban on partial birth abortions. Get the picture?

Let's hope the Supremes do a better job.

PSA

If you came here looking for "Huckabee", he's a decent enough governor....worse than a few & better than some.

If you came here looking for "rockafellar" [sic], you might want want to spell it correctly first. And if you looking for our past governor, well I wouldn't give you a plugged nickel for a whole bag of those like him.

If you came here looking for "griffen", I assume you meant Wendell Griffen, currently a candidate for a Arkansas Supreme Court judgeship. He's a fine feller, and you should vote for him. He is a credit to our profession.

Anything else you'd like to know?

Defending the Indefensible

This should come as no surprise to anyone.

The French lawyer known for defending Nazi war criminal Klaus Barbie and guerrilla Carlos the Jackal said Saturday that Saddam Hussein's nephew had chosen him to represent the deposed Iraqi president.

Saddam's got a French lawyer. Go figure.

Verges, who is also defending former Iraqi deputy prime minister Tariq Aziz, said he had accepted the job of defending Saddam and suggested his strategy would focus on the role played by the United States and other countries in supporting the Iraqi leader in the 1980s.

Good luck with that one, Jacques. Though I suppose in some circles that passes the straight-face test, this case is more likely what we in the legal profession call a 'dog'.

Charges against Saddam could cover his campaign against Iraqi Kurds in the 1980s, the use of chemical weapons on Iranian troops and Kurdish civilians, the crushing of Kurdish and Shi'ite Muslim uprisings in 1991 and the oppression of minority groups in the south and north of the country.

All those mass graves all over the country will speak for themselves I think.

Local Manhunt Update

Authorities are scaling back their manhunt for the two fugitives in the Alread, Arkansas area.

After a four-day search, law-enforcement officials decided Thursday to scale back a manhunt for two armed fugitives because they don’t know whether the men are hiding in the mountains around Alread or somehow escaped after a Monday morning shoot-out with police.

Local residents are understandably not too happy. But authorities admit they don't have a freaking clue where the two may be hiding.

Officers, who initially believed that the two men retreated into one of the shanties on the 30-plus acres where they lived, later learned they had escaped into the thick woods and rugged terrain. The property, which the men do not own according to county records, is dotted with bunkers packed with weapons, food and military gear, police said. [Emphasis mine]

Be interesting to see who does own the property they've apparently be squatting on for several years....and why they were allowed to stay.

At any rate, looks like it's not going to be safe to be out & about in that area for a while. Not that it was ever very safe.

Stuff & Nonsense

I haven't posted about the Richard Clarke nonsense because I just wasn't interested in anything he had to say after reading this about his book:

It took some quick footwork to get the book into the headlines this week, if not into the hands of everyone who wants to buy it. Its publisher, The Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, managed to get it into stores a week before schedule when it learned that Mr. Clarke was testifying this week before the commission. And Mr. Clarke's publicists got him a prime spot on "60 Minutes" on Sunday, the night before the book went on sale.

Who conveniently forgot to mention that "60 Minutes" is part of the CBS conglomerate that published his book....as well as those of Hillary and Paul O'Neill. They're just all tangled up in bed together like a den of far-left liberal raccoons. Which IMO makes his credibility somewhat less than zero.

But I have been somewhat bemused by how his before and after statements are popping up to bite him on the ass. Did he really think those wouldn't be found for us all to compare and contrast? I mean, like, duh. It's the Information Age, baby.

What's emerged from all this is a snapshot of a petty bureaucrat who was, as we say, anybody's dog that would hunt with him. Canned by the current administration, he's found a new group to stroke his ego.....the ultra-left liberals.

I don't find that particularly interesting. Should you?

Tin Foil Twenties

This freaking cracked me up.

The new $20 bills may char when microwaved, but that doesn't mean tiny tracking chips are embedded in Andrew Jackson's right eye, as an urban myth circulating on the Internet maintains.

Reports of Americans microwaving $20 bills to destroy the chip prompted AIM North America, a trade association for radio frequency identification chip (RFID) manufacturers, to test the notion and declare it a fallacy.

It also said that wrapping bills in aluminum foil "to foil" the technology, as some metal detector operators have noticed people doing, is unnecessary.

Exactly what in these peoples' lives is so interesting that the government would go to the expense of putting RFID chips in money to track them?

*crickets*

The Internet myth exemplifies a public mistrust of RFID chips and other surveillance technology. Sen. Patrick J. Leahy, Vermont Democrat and ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, says these fears have merit.

About as much merit as 'chemtrails' and black helicopters.

"While it may be a good idea for a retailer to use RFID chips to manage its inventory, we would not want a retailer to put those tags on goods for sale without consumers' knowledge, without knowing how to deactivate them, and without knowing what information will be collected and how it will be used," Mr. Leahy said.

Wal-Mart conducted "clandestine tests" that allowed researchers 750 miles away "to watch consumers in action" when lipstick packages tagged with the chips triggered nearby surveillance cameras, Mr. Leahy said.

Oh no! They can surveil shoplifters! The horror! The humanity!

Given the limited range of RFID technology, it's not like they can track a consumer's movements for days you know. And for what possible business reason would they want to anyway?

*crickets*

Get a firmer grip on reality people.

In Case You Wondered

Rodger's having bandwidth issues again so he's temporarily here until he gets moved to his new & improved bigger place.

"Kill Yer Neighbor" Manhunt

There's a big manhunt going on in Alread, a little community out in the middle of freakin' nowhere Arkansas. Pretty wild & woolly country out there, it's about 20 miles or so (as the crow flies) east of where I grew up. My sis had been telling me about all the survivalists that had moved in around there. Some pretty scary folks....I call 'em "kill yer neighbor" people. And allegedly these two did exactly that.

Officers also wanted to talk to the two about the disappearance of Theodore R. Throneberry (search), 46, and his wife, Ann Ryberg Throneberry, 45, whose home was about a half-mile from the cabin.

Police said Holsombach and Frazier had been seen in the Throneberrys' yard and were the last people seen with Ann Throneberry.

When the troopers showed up to serve a couple of warrants, these two apparently thought the revolution they'd been planning for had started & opened fire, wounding one of the state troopers.

Larry Scott, a spokesman for the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (search) said the area around the cabin had a mixture of slopes, structures and bunkers, two of which were filled with weapons and military-type gear.

"They've been planning for something like this for some time," said Van Buren County Sheriff Scott Bradley. "The survival skills are to their advantage, but we still think we're going to be able to get them."

Be luck if they do, there's a lot of places to hide out in the woods 'round there. At least they've brought in tracking dogs today, so they might be able to tree 'em up.

If not, some of the locals might see 'em skulking around one of their places & blow their heads off.......which is more likely. Not much to eat out in the woods right now.

Wouldn't that just be a shame.

Railroad Bomb Found in France

A boom, I mean bomb has been discovered on a French railway track.

A French railway worker found a bomb half-buried on the main line between Paris and Switzerland Wednesday, alarming commuters across Europe and jolting financial markets two weeks after the Madrid train bombs.

No one's claimed responsibility yet, though a likely suspect is an alleged Islamic group that recently "threatened to plunge France into "terror and remorse" to punish the country for passing a law banning Islamic headscarves in state schools."

It did work in Spain, after all.

Celebrate Good Times

Just got back from taking a certification exam in Fort Smith and am happy to report I am now officially a Certified HIPAA Professional. Which means I am qualified to be your company's HIPAA Compliance officer, to write & enforce HIPAA security & privacy policy, and generally make your lives a living hell.

Beware my evil powers! Bwahahaha!

Simple Rules

I generally don't blog about work, but this is something that has been bugging me. There are certain customers that I dread seeing in my line.....especially the ones who seem to think they're budding skyscraper architects. You know who you are. You're the customer who has a compulsion to see how high you can stack your purchases on my checkout belt. I've got a news flash for you, bucky. No one admires your 'mad skillz' but you, you clueless moron.

I understand that you think I'm a drooling idiot mindlessly working at a low-paying job, but in fact the physics & spatial geometry mental calculations that I make in the split second when I pick up an item, scan it and bag it would fill reams of paper. But I think I can summarize them all in one simple sentence that even you can understand.

This ain't freaking Jenga.

You will, I'm sure, be surprised to learn that a good checker follows some basic rules while bagging your purchases. One, heavy stuff goes on the bottom, light stuff on the top. Two, cold things go together. Three, Non-food items and food items are usually not placed in the same bag.

So when you build your towering stairway to heaven, everyone gets pissed. I get pissed because I have to go on a treasure hunt to properly sort things for bagging, which slows me down to a crawl. You get pissed because it takes me so long to check your stuff. The people in line behind you get pissed for the same reason. I'll bet they would cheer if I ever give in to my overwhelming desire to grab you by the back of the neck and pound your face into your handiwork while screaming "Do you not understand elementary physics, you freaking idiot?"

And for those of you who understand & apply these rules by pre-sorting your purchases so you get checked out quickly and smoothly....I love you.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

Another Mover

Paul has moved.

Adjust.

Aw, Shaddup

It's nearly impossible to add to what Lileks said today about the anti-war protests, but.....this morning I read an account of the local march (which was apparently in yesterday's online paper, because it's now disappeared. Thanks, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, you greedy assholes.), about 60 people showed up to prance down Dickson Street, blah blah blah. Then I read a statement by one of the participants that had to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

He said that the US was becoming much like Germany in the 30's & 40's.

Yeah, I remember the night when Rainbow's House of Tofu had all its windows smashed......all the newspaper articles about how the unemployment rate & bad economy was all their fault.....how the government made them all wear rainbow patches on their clothing so we could readily i.d. them.....and then they came for all the hippies, and I didn't say anything because I'm not a freaking hippy. Yep, I expect the hippy death camps to open up just any day now. [/sarcasm]

How do you have a reasonable discussion with someone like that? You don't. You can't even try to smack some sense into them because, well, you know, bullshit splatters. (And stains your clothes something fierce)

Some unknown person who was driving by Saturday's 'march' had the best advice for the participants. He was repeatedly announcing over his P.A. system "Go home. You're wasting your time. Go home."

Photoshop This

If ever a photo begged to be photoshopped, this one does. Are you listening Rodge?

Leave a link in the comments to your best efforts.

Kerry the Magnificent

Kerry had a few problems on his week-long getaway to Sun Valley ski slopes. (Hat tip Charles)

His next trip down, a reporter and a camera crew were allowed to follow along on skis — just in time to see Mr. Kerry taken out by one of the Secret Service men, who had inadvertently moved into his path, sending him into the snow.

When asked about the mishap a moment later, he said sharply, "I don't fall down," then used an expletive to describe the agent who "knocked me over."

Nice way to describe someone who's protecting your life. Still, Johnnie's biggest problem is all those damn little people that keep getting in his way.....like this one:

Still, Mr. Kerry could not entirely escape the hazards of the arena he had left behind. He had just sat down for a bite to eat on the crowded patio near the lift line when a waiting skier, John Norris, shouted: "Hey, John! What foreign leaders talked to you?"

Mr. Kerry beat a retreat back into the lodge, to an upstairs, out-of-the-way dining area where he would be sure to draw even less attention.

Using the old French/UN strategy, eh Johnnie?

A Good Cause

One of my community college instructors is planning a 165 mile hike to raise money for scholarships.

Peace said she admires her students at NWACC because they are not typical students. Many are older than the average college student, and they often combine school with family and work commitments. "I’m always impressed by the commitment that students have, and I thought I’d like to give something back to the students," she said.

She decided to raise money for NWACC’s general scholarship fund through donations sponsoring her hike. So far she has been able to raise $1,500, but she hopes to raise $5,000. Donations can be made through a Web site at [http://bci.nwacc.edu/apeace/trek/].

You can also read her story there....she's a pretty amazing lady. And if you have a few extra dollars lying around, it's a good cause. Like she says, many of my classmates work full time at low-paying jobs, are raising their families AND go to school full time. And scholarships often mean the difference between their staying in school or not.

Hand up, not a handout.

Playing the Race Card

Former U of A Coach Nolan Richardson is attempting to play the race card again in his suit against the university.

Nolan Richardson told an attorney for the Arkansas Razorback Foundation that he felt discriminated against as University of Arkansas, Fayetteville, basketball coach largely because he was sent to speaking engagements around the state where there often were no other black people.

Ummm....duh. Since Arkansas' population is only 16% black, that's like, you know, inevitable.

Asked which speaking engagements bothered him, Richardson at first said, "I don’t recall."

Richardson responded again that "the foundation that I worked for sent me to places that I was the only black face in the audience."

To be fair, if I was black, I'd be more than a bit nervous about speaking to a group in Mtn. Home. But a) as the coach, that's part of his job, and b) that's not why he was let go.

In Arkansas, the b-ball cultists don't give a rat's ass if you're black, brown or pee-purple polka-dotted as long as you win. If you don't win, you're outta here. (See, e.g., the athletic director's fair-haired boy, Eddie Sutton). And you, Coach Richardson, went from winning the NCAA championship in 1994 to having a team that couldn't beat a high school AAU team.

So when you popped up a press conference complaining about how you were being mistreated and how you wished they'd buy out your contract....they saw their chance and took it.

But it wasn't because of the color of your skin.

It was your win/loss record.

Nobody Loves Us

A new poll shows we're even more disliked than ever since the Iraq war.

In a Pew Global Attitudes survey released Tuesday, in only one of eight foreign countries surveyed did a majority give a favorable rating to the United States. That nation was Great Britain.

Turkey, Pakistan, Jordan, Morocco, France, Germany and Russia were not so kind. In Turkey, 63 percent of those polled had a very or somewhat unfavorable opinion. In France, the number was 62 percent. In Germany, 59 percent.

Oh stop crying in your Rice Krispies. They all seem to like us well enough when they need their bacon pulled out of the fire.....or our money. Not to mention their huddled masses yearning to breathe free and immigrate here.

Wankers.

It's All About the Money

The GAO has raised its estimate of the ga-zillions of dollars Saddam made off the UN's oil-for-food scam.

But using updated data, the GAO has concluded that Saddam received $5.7 billion from oil smuggled out of Iraq and $4.4 billion in illicit surcharges on oil sales and purchases of commodities, according to testimony prepared for the House Financial Services Oversight and Investigations Subcommittee.

And much like the fox investigating who raided the chickenhouse, the UN is asking for evidence of those who also illicitly profited from the program.

On Wednesday, U.N. spokesman Fred Eckhard said the United Nations had asked the U.S.-appointed Iraqi Governing Council and U.S.-led coalition to provide evidence of the corruption. The request followed reports that former Cabinet officials, legislators, activists and journalists had profited from Iraqi oil sales.

That's likely to be a long list indeed.

More Good News

In case you're just getting off work like me & haven't heard, the Pakistanis may have al-Zawahri cornered.

Pakistani officials said Thursday they have a "high-value target" in the war on terror surrounded near the Afghan border and sources reported that an air strike was being launched to flush out the resistance.

Intelligence officials suggest it may be Ayman al-Zawahri— the Al Qaeda No. 2 leader and the top deputy to Usama bin Laden— but the person's identity remains uncertain.

Several sources have said that the available information indicates that he's holed up there....and may have been wounded. The Command Post is staying on top of the story, so check back there for updates.

Good hunting, gentlemen.

Make My Day

Our local senator, Hillary-wannabe Blanche Lincoln, is being considered as a possible 'long-shot' Kerry VP.

That'd be one way to get shed of her.

Good News

First, the death count in Wednesday's bombing of the Baghdad hotel has been lowered from 27 to 17.

Second, there's been another car bombing of a hotel, this time in Basra. 5 Iraqi civilians were killed. Not that that's good news, but what happened afterwards is.

The owner of the car that exploded had been seen parking the vehicle and walking away moments before the blast, according to witnesses. Residents detained him and handed him over to police.

I suspect we'll be seeing more of this....increasing cooperation from the Iraqi citizens as they increasingly become targets of the desperate last gasps of the old regime.

Co-opted Blog Space

Here's what happened to my blog space over the weekend.

Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 12:6)

But he needs to get his own damn laptop.

Cool Resource

Britain's National Archives has released some of their records online....including digital copies of all PCC wills dating back to 1384. Very cool. Or at least it would be if their server wasn't down at the moment.

You can also access the 1901 Census there, and they're in the process of putting the First World War Campaign Medal Index cards online. (Surnames beginning with A and B are available now.)

Looks like a great site for exploring your family history....or if you're just curious what ol' Willie Shakespeare left to whom in his will. (He gave his 'second-best bed' to his wife, everything else to be divided equally amongst his family.)

Interesting.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

'Tis the day when everyone suddenly becomes Irish....whether they are or not. Sure and it's a touch of the Irish I be having meself. One of my maternal great-grandmothers was as Irish as the day is long, coming over from County Cork as she did. And there's more than a few Pattersons and Killians and such scattered around in my family tree.....including one with the delightful name of "Merry A'day Susan".

Names today are so boring aren't they?

Anyway, I'll be lifting my mug (of tea) to them all this fine spring morning....a finer lot of outlaws & reprobates ye'd be hard pressed to find, God love 'em.

And top o' tha marning to ya all.

Over One's Head

I found this treasure in a NYTimes article about the resurgence in popularity of bourbons. The reporter interviewed the spokesman for Jack Daniels and asked this question.

Why, I asked, has the company stuck so close to its roots? "We don't believe in kicking pulling mules," he answered, making the dubious assumption that a city-bred stiff like me knew about pulling mules.

In fact, there are hard-headed business reasons.

In fact, that's what he just said, ye great idiot.

And Jack Daniels is a sourmash whiskey, not a bourbon.

Duh.

Eat Dead Animals Today!

Michele reminded me that today is International Eat an Animal for PETA Day. And she's got a nifty photo of some PETA activist drinking out of a toilet bowl like the dog that she is.

Go check it out.

Another Car Bomb Found

Reuters is reporting that a huge car bomb was found in Karachi in front of the US Embassy consulate.

A van packed with explosives was towed away from the consulate during the morning rush hour to a nearby sports ground, where bomb disposal experts defused it, police said....A 750-liter drum containing a mixture of chemicals, including ammonium nitrate, was loaded on the van, but apparently it was not connected with detonators, police said.

After yesterday's election results in Spain, I suspect we'll be seeing a lot more of this. Whatever the Spaniards reasons were for their vote, the results will be interpreted by the Islamo-fascists as a huge victory for their side.

And we're all going to pay for that in blood.

Happy Wedding Day

Today is the much anticipated Spoons wedding. Drop by and leave your best wishes for Chris & Laura.

Desperate World Need

I have come to the conclusion that there is a desperate world need for a decent education. To-wit: this quote from Kerry's daughter:

Still, there are differences. Vanessa doesn't hesitate to criticize President Bush. She invokes his name often, saying such things as, "Every candidate has an Achilles' heel, but George Bush is a walking Achilles' body."

As James Taranto points out, that is an extremely asinine statement....seeing how Achilles was a great Greek hero, whose entire body was invulnerable. Except his heel, of course.

Sheesh, I've known about Achilles since I was kid. After all, we read the Iliad in high school for crying out loud. Mike said I was obviously a product of my backwards hillbilly school system. Yeah, we actually read the story and discussed it instead of dressing up in Greek costumes and learning how to respect each other's 'feelings'.

And then there was the computer printed "No Smoking" signs I saw yesterday. (Our smoking ban went into effect the other day) The signs all read:

"To be in accordinance [sic] with....[blah blah blah] city ordinace [sic]...[blah]."

I started laughing loudly when I read the first one, and remarked that the sign maker certainly didn't use a spell checker. No one else got it.

*sigh*

Unbelievable.

Kerry's Foreign Support

Kerry's refused to substantiate his claims that some foreign leaders want him as President.

Aides and supporters of Mr. Kerry have said providing names of the leaders or their countries would injure those nations' ongoing relations with the current Bush administration.

Meanwhile reporters can't find any evidence that he's even been around any foreign leaders.

The Massachusetts Democrat has made no official foreign trips since the start of last year, according to Senate records and his own published schedules. And an extensive review of Mr. Kerry's travel schedule domestically revealed only one opportunity for the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee to meet with foreign leaders here.....The only instance found when Mr. Kerry was in the same town as a foreign leader was Sept. 24, when New Zealand Foreign Minister Philip Goff was in Washington meeting with State Department officials. On that day, according to his schedule, Mr. Kerry received the endorsement of the International Association of Fire Fighters in Washington.

Meanwhile, a recent poll showed many Americans believe Kerry has support from another foreign source.

And a poll taken by Andres McKenna Polling and Research found that Americans overwhelmingly believe "the terrorists would prefer" Mr. Kerry to win the election.

The poll of 800 registered voters, taken in February, showed 60 percent thought terrorists would be happier with Mr. Kerry, while just 25 percent said the terrorists would prefer Mr. Bush.

Hardly a scientific sampling, but still.

Said [Kerry spokesperson] Ms. Cutter: "I don't care what the Republicans are saying. The story here is the good will squandered by the Bush administration."

They just don't get it.

Them v. Us

An al-qaeda brigade has claimed responsibility for yesterday's atrocity in Madrid.

"This is part of settling old accounts with Spain, the crusader, and America's ally in its war against Islam," the claim said.

The message also claimed that we are next.

"We announce the good news for the Muslims in the world that the strike of the black wind of death, the expected strike against America, is now at its final stage -- 90 percent ready -- and it is coming soon, by God's will," the claim said.

I'd prefer the strike of the shining sea of glass myself.

Local Politics

Looks like we may have a credible candidate for mayor, Doug Kuntz.

A 1964 graduate of Stephen F. Austin University and charter member of the University of Arkansas College of Engineering Genesis Incubator Advisory Board, Kuntz also served active duty and reserve duty in the Marine Corps from 1960 to 1966, when he received an honorable discharge. Kuntz worked for IBM for 36 years, and was in charge of IBM territories in three states, including management of a $90 million business.

He attracts my interest because he appears to be pro-business, unlike our present mayor.

Kuntz finished the speech with four promises, including being a good steward of city money. "And (I) will not use our city funds as a ‘ personal piggy bank,’ Kuntz said." Fayetteville businesses and others we might attract who contribute so much to our tax base will be encouraged not discouraged. As long as they follow our ordinances, they will be innocent until proven guilty — not the other way around. "

The most telling sign that Fayetteville is no longer attractive to new businesses is the location chosen for the new Krispy Kreme. Bentonville. They're also apparently going to also get the state's third freestanding Starbucks. (The other two are in Little Rock) Why are those businesses locating in B-ville instead of here? Because that's where all the growth is....and potential customers. Why is the growth moved there? Because B-ville city government has been working hard to attract business while our mayor has been wasting our tax dollars on 'feel-good' projects instead of improving the infrastructure.

"We have huge traffic problems that worsen every week," Kuntz said. "The current administration has spent a large surplus they inherited, raised taxes, fees and rates and wants to do so again. (City) expenses far exceeded our revenue in 2003... I believe I can do better."

You sure as hell couldn't do much worse.

The Real Deal

I got no need for this, since I know exactly what the real thing feels like. I'll never forget the last time. It was a warm summer night....the moon was just barely illuminating the field and....well, you don't really need to hear the rest.

Trust me.

Spam Suit

I never thought I'd ever say this, but HOORAY FOR AOL! And Yahoo! And Microsoft! And Earthlink!

Some of the nation's largest Internet providers, in an unusual joint effort, said Wednesday they filed six lawsuits against hundreds of people who were accused of sending millions of unwanted e-mails in violation of the new U.S. law against "spam."

Sweet. (Link via Fark)

Cheney's Undisclosed Location Revealed!

Here's at least one of Cheney's 'undisclosed locations'.

Gov. Mike Huckabee lauded the state’s tourism industry Tuesday for entertaining millions of visitors last year, including a famous duck hunter who slipped in and out of the state without much notice.

Huckabee said Vice President Dick Cheney hunted at "an undisclosed location" last fall but reportedly didn’t have much luck. "The ducks that week were also at an undisclosed location and weren’t available either," Huckabee joked at the Governor’s Conference on Tourism in Fayetteville.

What do you want to bet Soros baited one of the adjacent fields to lure the ducks away?

Good Question

Tony Blankley in today's WashTimes has a good question about those foreign leaders who allegedly support Kerry for president.

While it is certainly plausible that many foreigners don't like the president of the United States, my first question is whether Mr. Kerry is telling the truth. When, exactly, did he meet with these foreign leaders? Note that he doesn't merely say he talked with them (by telephone). He claims that he "met" them and "they looked at" him while they were saying these things.

Sen. Kerry has been on public view almost every day since he started running for president last year (except for the period of his hospitalization, when he obviously could not have been traveling around the world). I don't recall seeing him on European, Middle East or other foreign travel during that period. (His campaign office wouldn't respond to my inquiry for a record of his foreign travel in the last year.) Nor do I recall seeing or reading about foreign heads of state meeting with Mr. Kerry when they visited Washington during the last many months.

How about it Mr. Kerry? Inquiring minds would like to know. Not that most people would be impressed, IMO.

But Sen. Kerry obviously believes the times are changing. He believes that there may be millions of Americans who will be impressed by the fact that hand kissing, back-stabbing, atheistic, sophisticated Euro-leaders prefer John Kerry to George Bush.

Yeah, I'm sure Chirac would love to have one of his 'kissing cousins' in the White House.

I am sure that M. Chirac will be glad to continue to kiss Mr. Kerry's hand, as long as Mr. Kerry will kiss a lower, dorsal part of M. Chirac's anatomy. But I rather doubt John Kerry will get elected president by American voters while in that posture.

I certainly hope not.

Just Reward

Mohammed Abbas, so-called "mastermind" of the Achille Lauro highjacking, has died of natural causes.

Let's all give him a rousing one-finger salute as he slides by on the highway to hell, shall we?

Movin' On Up

The Always Right Tony has moved to a new host. Time to update your link.

Just a Few....

...."Aaaaaw" moments to share. WildChild has been here since Friday, and today I took him to Harrison to meet my mom & dad so he could spend a few days with them. He loves going there, as they still live on a farm....which is the closest thing to heaven for a 3 yr. old who loves to be outdoors.

I finally got him all loaded up & transferred to their vehicle, and as they were about to leave I told him to be a good boy for Poppy & Ginnky. He looks at me all indignant and said, "I Ginnky's big boy." He pointed at my mom. "Ginnky a good guy." He added, pointing at my dad in the driver's seat, "And Poppy a good guy right there. Right. There."

He continued, "Ma, you go get in Ma's car. Go home now. WildChild going to Poppy's house." In other words, I'll be fine, stop hovering. It was too cute.

But you aren't allowed to call him cute. He & Mike went out for a guy's night out while I was at work Saturday night, and their waitress told WildChild that he was cute. "No," WildChild replied. "I not cute. I WildChild. He Gr'npaMike."

He lives in a very literal world.

Another One

This is the closest thing to content I could find because I'm tired and my feet hurt.

Scowling wilfully towards Autobot City, you're Megatron!

Look in a mirror and feel the evil. Then eat the mirror. You eat mirrors for breakfast. You are a badass death robot. You busted on Optimus Prime. You. Are. Megatron. Go outside and burn some animals, because you're worth it.

Declare your pre-Galvatron-ness with the following non-heat-sensitive emblem:

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

Thanks, non-evil Matt!

When Flip-Flops Attack

Now Kerry's claiming that Bush is failing to properly equip our troops.

Kerry, giving the Democrats' weekly radio address, said President Bush had misplaced priorities in Iraq, spending billions of dollars on contracts to Halliburton Co. but not providing troops enough body armor and other protective equipment.

Now there may be a legitimate point to his claims, but didn't Kerry also oppose an increase in military funding for Iraq recently?

Martha Guilty On All Counts

The jury has convicted Martha Stewart on all charges. I have to say that kinda surprises me, though I know you can never predict what a jury will do. I just didn't think the gov't had proven its case too well. Though from what one juror said, I don't think that mattered.

Chappell Hartridge, a 47-year-old computer technician at an insurance company, said he hopes the verdict sends a message to corporations that "they have to abide by the rules and no one's above the law."

"Maybe it might give the average guy a little more confident feeling that (he) can invest in the market and everything will be on the up and up."

Sounds like Ms. Upper Crust didn't play too well with the jury.

Go figure.

Cradle to Where?

Those whacky Germans.

A German court has rejected a claim from an unemployed man who wanted the state to provide him with pornographic material and free visits to a brothel.

They'd already refused to buy his wife a plane ticket. So he sued.

The unnamed man argued that, as his wife lived in Thailand, the local authority had to compensate him for his "considerable sexual needs".

The 2,500-euro claim (£1,700, $3,050) a month was to fund weekly brothel trips, eight pornographic videos and transport costs to and from a video store.

Here's an idea you big stud. Get off your ass and get a J-O-B.

Oh wait. The economy's in the shitter and employers aren't hiring because of all the government's over-regulation of employment. Ah, the joys of a welfare state.

Sorry, Franz (or is it Hans). Guess you'll have to find a cheaper way to "pump....yourself up."

Quiz Time

Pointless quiz (stolen from Paul) that will make my page load really slowly for the next few days.

Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

"Rock on"? Thanks for the earworm. [/sarcasm]

Good Advice

Today's NYPost contains interesting excerpts from Lieberman's speech to the Senate yesterday.

We Democrats and Republicans must see beyond the red states and the blue states to a larger cause that is as critical to the red, white and blue as any America has ever fought for.

For the sake of our children's futures, for the sake of America's core values, and for the sake of world peace, we cannot allow that to happen.

Go read the rest. It's good advice for us all.

Around About Town

--So Kerry won big yesterday, Edwards is reportedly withdrawing, and now all the buzz is about who will be Kerry's running mate. Like it matters.

--Speaking of Kerry, he's picked up a key endorsement.....Paul has the scoop. That ought to make us all sleep better at night.

--Most of the telemarketers are abandoning their appeal of the "do-not-call" ruling. A small group is still pursuing their appeal to the Supremes. Yeah, like that'll do 'em any good. Though it would be fun to watch Scalia....assuming he didn't go out duck hunting with one of them or something. (No, I didn't approve of that. Every judge should avoid even the appearance of impropriety. He's no exception.)

--Speaking of being foisted by your own petard, here's a good idea from the FBI.

FBI officials said the new initiative uses child pornography images from the Internet. Photos are made of unidentified adults whose faces are visible in the scenes, then put on television shows and law enforcement Web sites. The photographs are edited to ensure no children are seen.

No word, alas, on whether we get to line 'em all up & lobotomize the whole sorry lot.

Dang it.

Possum Pokes for Peace

Bigwig's come up with a great idea: "a possum in every Middle Eastern pot by Easter." But now even Jethro Bodine knows that aged possum is an acquired taste, so I say let's start them off with something a little more basic. Live possum.

They're easy enough to catch, just take your hound dogs out for a run and let 'em tree a few. You see, when possums get really frightened they 'sull', or go into a state of suspended animation. Then they're easily picked up and stuffed in a poke (that's a bag for you Yankees). They'll stay in that state long enough for you to ship 'em out by FedEx, no problem. And you can prolly put 3 or 4 in each box to save on shipping.

A'course, you might want to put a warning label on the box, because possums have a tendency to be madder'n hell when they come to. I can attest that they'll ball up and try to chew your arm off if you happen to be holding them by their back legs when they wake up. Now don't worry about the possums. They'll survive quite nicely no matter how far one throws them. But they are considerably harder to catch the second time around.

Bigwig's got all the necessary domestic addresses, so head on over there & jot 'em down. Then tonight we can all become part of the Possums for Peace Posse.

Heh.

Monday Catchup

Trying to catch up with laundry, homework, et al today so no time for posting. I did get a chance to unpack & try out my awesome new notebook pad....a gift from one of my favorite bros-in-law. (Scroll down & click on NP-101. No direct link, sorry) Not only does it keep my notebook from melting the tablecloth, but also raises it high enough that typing no longer hurts my wrist. Sean, you did good.

And the UPS guy brought even more cool stuff from said bro-in-law, but I haven't had a chance to play with that yet. Maybe over spring break.

BTW, anyone know the correct load for one of these?