We've been having a blast playing with the granddaughter, so when my son asked us last night if we would care to watch her so they could enjoy a baby-free movie, we were like, sure! No problem.
And it wasn't really, for a while at least. She played, got a little fussy but after a dry diaper & a full tummy, she fell asleep in my lap. Sweet, I think, because it's a least an hour before my son & DIL will be home. I put her down and she's totally sacked out.
30 minutes later I hear WAAAHHH! from upstairs. After 'rescuing' her from the terrible confines of the playpen in which she was sleeping, Mike & I discover she, at 9 months, can do a simple equation. Know what it was?
Ma + Pa = NOT THE MOMMA WAAAAHHHH!
We tried toys. No. Rocking. No. Sollie was amusing for a few minutes, but after he got tired of her whacking him on the head & he moved to the other end of the couch, that was no good either. Singing. No. Games. No. Whistling tunelessly worked for about 5 minutes. Ever try whistling for 5 minutes? Walking endless circuits of the entire house while holding her, yes. But only if we did other amusing things.....like me sitting with a bowl on my head & waving like a beauty queen in a parade as Mike walked by holding her.
Yes, we were getting that desperate.
After about 45 minutes of THAT, I told Mike I felt like we were trapped in an endless command performance of "Dance, Monkey, Dance". Finally, I got her to sit on the countertop & throw plastic cups in the sink. At that point, I would've gladly emptied the cabinets just to keep her from crying.
Even that was starting to wear a little thin when I saw headlights coming into the backyard. Yes! Salvation!
She was one happy baby when she saw her mom. She just kept hugging her & babbling & cooing. Finally she turned around, pointed at me hugged her mom, then applauded & said "Yaaaay!". Yeah, thanks kid, already got that memo. I am not the momma.
Little stinker.
Fark, of course, puts it best:
Saddam Hussein officially starts his homosexual relationship with Satan.
May he get the same mercy & justice in the afterlife as he gave others in life.
Hope you & yours had a wonderful Christmas. Ours was outstanding. We hadn't told WildChild that his dad & family were coming. All he knew was he was getting three surprises, which were late & we had to go pick them up yesterday afternoon. He naturally assumed presents, which we told him were one as big as your Uncle Sam, one as big as Mommy and the last one is a little bigger than Sollie. They're so big we have to drive two cars to pick them up.
He never figured it out, mostly because he went to sleep on the short drive to the airport. And once inside, he was focused on getting to ride the escalator. Hey wait a minute I said. Who's that tall guy standing over there?
It took him a second to see and then it was DADDY!!!! IT'S MY DADDY!!!!! And off across the terminal he sprinted, as hard as he could run, screaming DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY!!!!!!! He leaped into my son's arms & hugged him as tightly as an almost-six yr. old possibly could, still yelling DADDY DADDY at the top of his lungs.
It was a Hallmark moment. And the rest of the evening just got better. We had a great time opening presents and enjoying the wonderful meal produced by Mike & Son, Inc. And then the die-hards finished off the evening (after the chillens went to bed) by watching Team America.
Pics later. Now it's off to the after Christmas sales, then the long drive to my parents'.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas!
Or "Reason #1458 Why I Like Living in Bentonville". This escapee was recently captured in one of Bentonville's subdivisions. We really have the best of both worlds (city & country) here.
What really cracks me up is imagining how the mule decided to stop in this particular lawn. Mules are social creatures, so I imagine he was ambling around the neighbor when he walked upon the reindeer. Thinking they were some strange new type of equine, he says "Hey you guys. I'm new in the neighbor so uh, do you mind if I hang out with y'all?"
.....
"Ok well I'll just eat this grass over here then if that's ok."
......
"Boy y'all don't talk much do you?"
.....
The mule looks really pissed off that he's being made to leave his new friends, don't you think?
The Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise, my son & his family will arrive here Christmas day. So we're all pretty excited, it's his first visit home in about 2 yrs. Keep your fingers crossed that their flight arrives safely.
A funny thing happened last night when I was calling everyone to let them know when he would be arriving. My daughter was really excited of course, because they're very close, but I could tell she was also just a wee bit jealous of all the attention (and financial support) her brother was getting. Normal sibling stuff, you know.
At first I tried teasing her out of it by saying stuff like "Well I guess I just love him more than you." Which helped but still. So I explained that we don't get to see him very often so of course I'm making a fuss. He & I don't get to do things together like go eat sushi, go shopping, and all the other stuff that she & I do all the time. You know, Prodigal Son and all that. Her response:
???
She had no idea what Prodigal Son meant.
I was flabbergasted. She's always been my church-going child; she attends pretty regularly and always has. How could she not know of the Prodigal Son?
Nope, never heard of it.
Jeez, don't you ever just sit down & read your Bible I asked. She laughed, "Like you've read the whole thing." Well yeah, most of it. It's interesting, and has some great stories in it. Plus there's important lessons in there that everyone should know, silly. Like the Prodigal Son. D'oh.
Her assignment for last night was to find & read the relevant verses. And I sent her the link to the online version just in case she couldn't find it.
Sheesh. What are they teaching in church nowdays?
Thanks for the early Christmas present Jim, but you shouldn't have.
No, really.
I'm not tagging anyone, but if you don't volunteer, you're a big ole Scrooge.
1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper for the little ones gifts just because it's fun to watch them rip the hell out of it. Everyone else gets bags. If they're lucky, they get gift bags.
2.Real tree or artificial? Since I developed an allergy to evergreens, it's been artificial. But the last couple of years, we've gotten a real tree because I discovered I'm not as allergic to firs. Hey, what's Christmas without red watering eyes, compulsive sneezing & a runny nose anyway?
3.When do you put up the tree? Real ones, a week before Christmas. Artificial, usually the first weekend in December.
4.When do you take the tree down? The day after Christmas, mostly because it looks so lonely without presents....not to mention by then I'm really sick of keeping the dropped needles vacuumed up. And they burn real good too.
5.Do you like eggnog? Whaddya trying to do, make me sick?
6.Favorite gift you received as a child? A microscope. Though after I saw all the things swimming around in a sample of our tap (spring) water, I decided not to look at that again.
7.Do you have a nativity scene? Nope, though I'm kicking myself for not buying a Little People one I saw recently. It was totally cute. Mike & I amuse ourselves by naming the figures we see in stores though. My favorite this year is Heartburn Joseph. Or "Asking for Directions" Mary on the donkey. "Jesus-Jesus, do we take a left here?"
8.Hardest person to buy for? Hands down, my mother. Or she used to be anyway. She never likes anything anyone gets her except for the presents from my daughter. So several years ago, I decided, since it didn't matter anyway, to just buy her things I liked. It's going to be stuck back in a closet anyway, and someday I'll be stuck cleaning out that closet so.....it may as well be full of things I like.
9.Easiest person to buy for? The grandkids. The best part is playing with all the toys before I wrap them.
10.Mail or email Christmas cards? This year I mailed them, but only because I needed something sturdy to enclose some photos in. I'm not much on Christmas cards.
11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? OMG, thanks for bringing up that memory. One Christmas eve my 1st husband came home from work, handed me a brown paper sack and said "Merry Christmas! Here's your present!" Inside was a cheap generic Christmas flower arrangement that just screamed "last minute gift b/c I forgot to get you anything until someone reminded me late this afternoon". And before you give him some credit for at least getting me something, he knew perfectly well that I don't really care for dead flowers in a vase. I'd much rather have a living plant. So he also scores some major passive/aggressive points as well as thoughtlessness. Bastard. I came this close to beaning him in the head with them, but I didn't want to ruin my kids' Christmas by starting a big fight. I'm sure he was counting on that too. I often wonder why I married that jerk. Oh yeah. I was pregnant. Never mind.
12.Favorite Christmas movie? Rudolph. Or the Grinch. And The Christmas Story. And It's a Wonderful Life.
13.When do you start shopping? I usually start at least looking around October. Though there was one Christmas my husband at the time didn't get his Christmas bonus until Christmas Eve. Wow did that shopping trip suck ass.
14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I don't think so, not that I remember anyway.
15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My carrot cake.
16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? Either or both. This year it's colored.
17.Favorite Christmas song? Silver Bells. And Elvis' Blue Christmas, just because my dad always goes around singing it which cracks me up.
18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? I'd rather stay home, but that doesn't happen too often. The logistics of fitting in Christmas with our families & work schedules are mind-boggling.
19.Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeers? Of course. And I've been able to recite "Twas the Night Before Christmas" since I was 2. Christmas & Halloween are my 2 favorite holidays.
20.Angel on the tree top or a star? A star, a star, burning in the night. *snicker* Now you'll have that song stuck in your head all day.
21.Open the presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Morning.
22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? Rude people. But that's true every day.
23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? I didn't know it was my turn to keep up with him. Sheesh. I think he's around here somewhere. *starts patting pockets and opening drawers*
24.What would you like for Christmas? All our kids & grandkids here on Christmas day. And after about 2 hrs. of that happiness, I'll be ready to throw them all out so I can walk through my own house without tripping over a kid or a dog. Just found out last night my son is getting part of his pre-deployment leave over the holidays, so we're spending today trying to find an affordable flight to get him & his family here by Christmas day. Wish us luck. We'll need it.
Some days I feel positively ancient. For example, see the gentleman seated in the background of this picture? (annoying registration req'd) He's the county judge in my hometown. We went to the same school, and I've known him since he was a freckled-faced always-laughing young lad. And now he's a county judge. That's just.....too weird. I mean, I look at his picture and think jeez Johnny, we've become our parents.
Does that ever happen to you?
OMG this is the best dark chocolate I've tried yet. Rich, smooth, buttery dark chocolate flavor, mmmmm. And I just scored three 100g bars of the Noir de Noir.....now to keep from eating them all at once.
Willpower don't fail me now.
Leave it to a hillbilly to make the ultimate animated light display. (Via our local 5News station)
I especially like the chicken.
If you're going be dumb, you gotta be tough....or lucky.
Boston television station WCVB reported that Max sneaked out of his Walpole home on Friday morning and wandered onto some nearby train tracks. The engineer, Kym Berry, spotted him and slammed on the brakes.
"I blew the horn and put on the bell and he jumped right in the middle of the gauge and just kept running. So I put the train in emergency and he went right underneath the train. And it turns out, he came out the third coach back," Berry said.
Sounds like something Sollie would do.
10 years isn't either, according to an appellate court.
The punishment wasn't harsh enough, for a woman who rented her nine-year-old daughter to a pedophile more than 200 times.
A federal appeals court in St. Louis is throwing out the ten-year sentence that was given to the woman -- who typically was paid 20-dollars by the pedophile so that he could molest the girl. According to court documents, she often held the child down in their home while the man molested her.
Her excuse? Mental illness & drug use. (You know drug use, the victimless crime. /s)
Yeah cry me a river. I've seen too many of those last-minute sudden 'rehabilitations'. I'm a little skeptical of their authenticity.
Or maybe that should be cynical.
Having a bad day?
Here.
Now doesn't that feel better?
Tree is up & decorated....with what is apparently lots of shiny kitty toys. We're trying the 'shatterproof' bulbs this year. So far, Smokey hasn't managed to break any. Though he was throughly offended when I repeatedly batted his paw away from the bulbs & told him NoNo! He finally walked away in a huff, and sat glaring at me & the tree. I said "You're going to totally destroy the tree as soon as I leave the house, aren't you?"
I swear he smirked.
Now I'm trying to finish up some chocolate dipped coconut bonbons. Apparently the chocolate must be heated to something like the temperature of the Sun's surface before it melts without lumps.
Yeah I know I could do in the microwave faster. Shut up. That's no fun.
I want to be this lady when I grow up.
Mike says I'm already there.
This is just silly. (link via Fark)
The study, which looked at 100,000 North American drivers' records from the past six years, puts Libras (born September 23-October 22) followed by Aquarians (January 20-February 18) as the worst offenders for tickets and accidents
Leos (July 23-August 22) and then Geminis (May 21-June 20) were found to be the best overall.
Correlation doesn't equal causation, you silly twits.
=P
B-ville police have arrested a suspect who allegedly damaged five cars at a local car lot Tuesday. Why my outrage? Look at what he damaged:
The vehicles included a 1967 Chevy Camaro, a 1969 Chevy Camaro, a 1967 Pontiac Firebird, a 1966 Ford Mustang and a 1969 Chevy Chevelle. The damage resulting from the substance totaled more than $ 22, 000.
NOOOOOOOO! *sobs uncontrollably*
Hmmm. Wonder if I could get a good deal on the Mustang now?
A self-proclaimed 'tax protester' was sentenced & fined yesterday by our federal court. His reason for not paying taxes?
Both a Mountain Home accountant and IRS agents told him he had to pay taxes, but he testified he found information on the Internet saying one section of the income tax code allowed taxes on foreign income and, since domestic income was not mentioned in that section, he didn’t have to pay his taxes.
FYI, "But Your Honor, I read it on the internets so it must be true" is prolly not the best defense to 25 charges of tax fraud.
Like d'uh.
Fayette-nam continues its struggle to keep downtown PC.
Fayetteville’s Ordinance Review Committee is next on deck to define a public arts policy for the city.
....
“ We can’t say ‘ yes’ to one and ‘ no ’ to another, � said Coody. “ We’ve got to be careful about how we allow different things on public property. Because, once you start allowing several people to put things up, then you have to say ‘ yes’ to everybody who wants to put something up. �
Well of course we wouldn't want that. What's caused all the hubbub, bub?
He was talking about the Fallen Heroes Living Memorial which is now on the side of the Fayetteville Town Center on the Town Center Plaza, although that is not expected to be its permanent home.
“ It was supposed to be one thing; by the time it got installed, it was something very different, � explained Coody.
Originally expected to be a flagpole and a plaque, it is instead a flagpole and a monument. One side has a permanent plaque honoring one person; the other side recognizes those who paid for it; and the front is designed to have a plaque honoring a different veteran each month.
Got it? World Peace Fountain at Town Center good. Veterans' Memorial at Town Center bad. Why, the juxtaposition of the two might make some hippy's head asplode.
And we all know how messy that is.
May I present......Winnie the Pug.
We'll be in the Bentonville Christmas Parade Saturday. If it doesn't snow again that is.
Stop by and we'll give you some candy.
And before anyone suggests this is cruel/degrading, I'd like to point out Sollie likes dressing up better than anything else in the world besides eating.
He's just weird like that.
I'm busy re-learning all the stuff I have to know for my new job, which is fun for me but not much time for posting. The animals aren't liking it too much either.
The dogs remember enough that when they see me in court clothes, they get all depressed & go lie on the couch & sulk. It's all new to Smokey though, so when I get dressed he's all spazzed out like 'Where you going b*tch?" Then when I get home, he's all complaining because I wasn't home the entire day. Sometimes, if I'm gone all day, he comes up & wants me to pick him up, then he snuggles up as closely as possible and....bites the crap out of me.
It's kinda like having a pimp for a cat.
The most exciting thing that's happened this morning is that my feet are freezing because Sollie is blocking the kitchen heating vent with his pudgy pug body.
How about you?
My son sent me to this website. So far this one is our favorite.
LMAO every time I look at it.
Good for them.
A church group that protests at military funerals around the country will be barred from services for an American Indian soldier on a reservation, tribal officials say.
Personally, I detest parasites who use someone's tragedy for their own personal gain. Especially when those parasites exploit a soldier's sacrifice to publicize their message of intolerance and hate.
Jesus wept.
Hard to tell since we had so much wind last night, but looks like we prolly only got a couple of inches of snow. But that was on top of the 1-2 inches of ice/sleet, so the roads were pretty slick this morning. Or so I heard.
Pics are here. Keep scrolling, I didn't want to link to them all cuz I'M LAZY.
Deal with it.
