It started snowing about 10 am this morning, and by noon there were so many people leaving the courthouse it looked like someone had stepped on an anthill. Presently I am enjoying one of the perks of being a county employee.....SNOW DAY! WOOHOO!
Of course I'll pay for it later due to all the cases we had to reset, but still......I get to stay home this afternoon.
Can't beat that with a stick.
Matt's back....and looking for lawyer jokes to insult me.
Go give it your best shot.
We've had a stupid bird trapped in our stovepipe for a couple of days now, and we decided this morning it wasn't going to find its way out so I caught it. I'd put a trashbag over my arm so I wouldn't get covered in soot, and stuck my hand up the pipe until I could catch the stupid thing.
Not so exciting but wait. There's more.
As I carried the stupid bird out, Smokey was sitting on the kitchen counter watching intently. He's been freaking out over every little sound the bird made over the last 2 days because it was triggering his hunting instinct. Kill the bird! Kill the bird! So when I saw him sitting there, I thrust the bird towards him and said here you go Kitty. Here's a bird for you.
He sniffed a couple of times and it dawned on him what I had. He drew back startled, eyes big & fur starting to fuzz up. Then the bird moved, trying to break free of my grip. Then Smokey, mighty bird hunter, was like OMFG IT'S ALIVE & IT HAS A SHARP SCARY BEAK!!!! RUN AWAY!!!! RUN AWAY!!!
Instead of just jumping down of the countertop & escaping from the scary killer bird, he turned & ran across the stovetop, across the counter, through the dish drainer, up & across the windowsill, back down on the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen, and jumped down & ran away. He was, of course, knocking stuff down with every step.
I laughed so hard I almost dropped the damn bird. When we finally could stop laughing, I told Mike that my dad would say that cat was spinning out.
He's been considerably jumpy & nervous ever since. Poor kitty. The dream is often much nicer than the reality.
No birds were harmed in this morning's entertainment. I released the stupid thing outside, and it squawked at me irritably as it flew away. Stupid starling.
WildChild's here, after missing the entire week of school with the flu. I told him if he'd gotten his flu shot like I did, he wouldn't be so sick so aha to him.
He's playing Shrek on the XBox so he just ignored me of course. Nothing interferes with the game.....just like his dad.
At least it's not Worlds of Warcraft.
What's with the alphabet comment spammers anyway? I don't understand what they get out of posting jibberish....except to see if it gets posted (it doesn't) or to just be annoying (which they are).
Tedious.
This might explain it.
Today, say experts, is the unhappiest day in the entire year.
Unpaid Christmas bills, nasty weather, and failed New Year's resolutions combine to make January 22 the gloomiest in the calendar.
Not exactly my problem. Hey didya know if you have a circular fluorescent kitchen light that flickers sometimes you can take something like a wooden spoon & jiggle the bulb and that'll fix it? Or that sometimes when you do that, that sumbitch'll just pop right out of the fixture, hit the edge of the countertop & explode into a jillion pieces which spray all over the kitchen? And then you have to get out the shop vac AND the regular vac to clean up the mess as well as chase down the pug who's trying to be 'helpful' by picking up shards of glass with his mouth?
Yeah. What a way to start the day.
I got one of these stupid things in the mail the other day.
The 2006 Agricultural Identification Survey seeks to update the National Agricultural Statistics Service's records in advance of next year's national agricultural census, which is done every five years, according to the agency.
Lots of people with rural land, regardless of the size of their spread or what they use it for, will receive the questionnaires. There were a variety of ways to get on the list, including county records, having children in 4-H, Grange membership or filling something out at the county fair.
I got it because of the family farm we own down in Searcy County, and they got my name from the county records. How do I know that? By the name the survey was addressed to. Since we'd had that mixup over property taxes, I told the county office to just list my name in whatever way was easiest for them to remember me.....so the listing is a little um, unique. But it makes sense to me & them, which is all that matters.
Anyway I answered their stupid questions even though I got really tired of writing '0' and 'n/a' over & over because the land's not been farmed in 10 yrs. or better....but YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW. Otherwise you get a followup call from a census worker, which I bet I get anyway because OMFG a female farm owner in a poverty-stricken county who isn't getting any federal assistance? They'll be falling all over themselves to 'help' me out.
Thanks, but no thanks. I need that kind of help like a hen needs a flag.
Today is Winnie the Pooh Day. (via Fark) It could've been Eeyore Day, but oh well, I guess nobody cared.
Not sure whether to blame Al Gore or my sister for this:
A strong upper level storm system... currently off the California
coast... will move into southern Kansas by Saturday night. Areas
of snow... mixed with sleet will develop across southeast Oklahoma
late Friday night with snow spreading across northeast Oklahoma
and northwest Arkansas during the day Saturday.
The precipitation is expected to remain mainly snow north of
Interstate 40 with 5 to 7 inches of snowfall possible by Sunday
morning. 1 to 3 inches of a sleet... snow mixture... is expected
south of Interstate 40... with precipitation mainly in the form of
sleet towards the Red River.
Why my sister you ask? Well, she was born during a big snowstorm, and family tradition says that it always snows on her birthday....which is this Sunday.**
Thanks sis!
***Hey, that's at least as valid as the so-called 'statistics' glowball warning is based on.
I knew there were a lot of people severely pissed off about the whole Razorback fiasco, but day-amn.
Wow.
There's one good thing about it being so cold (10 degrees, wind chill 1 degree) this morning even the Akita doesn't want to stay outside. It doesn't take Sollie long to take care of bidness & run back inside....instead of his usual take 15 minutes to select a pee spot.
Right now Sollie & Smokey are slumped up against the kitchen heat vent, looking like a couple of Bowery Bums on a subway grate.
Slackers.
If this is true, it would be some kind of awesome karmic justice.
The recovery from the first operation, in which part of his large intestine was extracted and the colon was connected to the rectum, did not go well. The link broke and he released feces into the abdomen that caused another peritonitis, the report said.
A second operation to clean and drain the infected area also failed, the paper said. He was then hit with inflammation of the bile duct, an illness which has a 80 percent mortality rate, el Pais said. A prothesis made in South Korea was implanted and failed and later was replaced with one made in Spain.
Not quite 'gut shot & left in a mud hole to die', but it'll do.
We just barely missed the brunt of the ice storm, but a miss is as good as a mile. We've still got power, but it kept flickering off & on last night. Today the real problems start, temps are falling and the wind is picking up so the ice-covered trees will probably start breaking & falling this afternoon....and taking out power lines.
Right now it's about 19 degrees, with a 13 mph wind gusting to 20 mph. Which equals a wind chill of about 7 and too bloody cold to go outside if you don't have to. And it's only going to get worse later today.
Definitely a good day to stay home.
Just had another one of those 'OMG I know him' moments.
A Helena-West Helena attorney, Brian S. Miller, became a member of the Arkansas Court of Appeals this month.
In an appointment that Gov. Mike Huckabee’s office didn’t announce, Huckabee on Dec. 15 appointed Miller to the Court of Appeals, effective Jan. 1, according to records in the secretary of state’s office.
He was class of '92 at UCA, I was class of '93. We had many classes together and were good friends. Super nice, very intelligent guy, he should make an outstanding appellate judge.
Congratulations Brian! I'm so happy for him.
Uh, I mean 'Congratulations Judge Miller!' of course.
So far the 'major ice storm' hasn't amounted to much. A little ice on the trees, cars & deck early this morning, but then the temp jumped a couple of degrees, it started raining then--Voila! Goodbye ice. The forecast is still calling for major ice & we're all going to die, but I'm starting to have my doubts.
Mike made a birdseed/pizza/milk run and the streets aren't icy at all. Meanwhile, I'm doing laundry in between helping WildChild save the world through Xbox.
As long as my thumb holds out anyway.
Now the forecast is for 1/4 to 1/2 inch of ice tonight, probably more tomorrow night. So far so good, it's hovering right around freezing. I'm home safely, and Mike & das WildChild should be here shortly. Everything's ready in case we lose power. The only thing I'm out of is birdseed....and there ain't no way in hell I'm braving the Milk/Bread/Eggs crowd just to get birdseed.
I like the birds and all, but not that much.
Maybe this makes me a really bad person, but this face instantly made this caption pop into my head:
On her first day on the job, the new Speaker of House said "They like me! They really like me!"
I am so going to hell.
....and everyone said cool because everyone knows just thinking about second hand smoke can kill you. Well most everyone except me, who said gloat now fools, they're not going to stop there. And they didn't.
Trans fats, the artificial, artery-clogging substance often found in deep-fried cooking, may be the target of at least one legislator this year, as lawmakers weigh how to fight the obesity plaguing the state.
Trans fats, you know, the miracle stuff they invented to take the place of 'artery-clogging' all-natural grease & lard. It must be replaced with some new miracle stuff that will not only make you lose weight & lower your bad cholesteral, but will also make you run faster, jump higher and live longer. It even cures hoarseness.
Bans might be somewhat tolerable if they weren't based on snake-oil science and flawed studies on bodily processes that no one really understands.
Meanwhile, I'm keeping my smokes AND my lard, thanks.
Looks like winter is on its way as we're under a winter storm watch for the weekend. We're keeping a close eye on the forecast because we'd planned to go get das WildChild for the weekend. He called the other night, crying so hard he could barely talk. After I finally got him to stop sobbing enough so I could understand what he was saying, I asked him what was wrong.
"I wuh-wuh-want you to come get me WAAAAAHHHH!"
"We're coming to get you Friday, okay? Now stop crying & tell me what's wrong." I expected to hear some tale of woe of how he'd gotten in trouble for something and didn't want to get punished, his usual M.O. But no. After much wailing & gnashing of teeth, he finally gets it out between sobs.
"Be-be-be-because I muh-muh-miss you WAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Who could say no to that, ice storm warnings or not?
Today's funny arrived via our good friend Bob. Takes a lot to make me laugh that hard at 4:30 a.m.
Thanks, Bob!
You'd have to be crazy to ride this. (link via Fark) Not only have I never been THAT crazy, I almost barfed just watching the video.
Freaking nuts.
Sure, I know that embedded Flash with all its cool graphics really impresses corporate but frankly those of us who have to actually use your slow-loading stupid dancing graphics overloaded piece of crap aren't. And your wildly inaccurate 'percentage loaded' display only serves to remind me how much time, and bandwidth, I'm wasting waiting to see a trailer for a movie I'll prolly never bother to go see.
And another thing, what's with the complete waste of time 'Enter Site' page? What am I, a Berenstain Bear......i.e., Do I dare to go into your spooky old website?
Here's a good rule of thumb: If corporate thinks your site design is 'daring', 'bold', 'innovated'.....trash it & start over.
The FDA has approved a new diet drug for dogs. I was gonna hook Sollie up until I read further.
The liquid's side effects can include loose stools, diarrhea, vomiting, lethargy and loss of appetite.
They lost my interest after the first one. He's not nearly overweight enough to make that worth it.
Green beans it is.
Here's the scene: First day jitters, I'm busy as a one-armed paperhanger, but I finally had a few minutes to check out my new laptop which I'd been told was set up & ready for me. I push the button. It starts booting, then throws an error screen saying it's not getting enough power to run the docking station so it'll be shutting down now, thanks for playing.
Shit.
I check all the cables & try again. Same error. I try undocking & redocking. Same error. Bang head on desk & repeat all of the above. Same error.
Over and over and over. I swear loudly because g-dammit I have a degree in programming and I can't even turn a freaking laptop on. WTF? Try cables & redocking one more time. Nada. And by the time I have a chance to tell someone (which is not until late afternoon), the office tech guy has already left for the day. But I'm promised he'll check it first thing tomorrow. So I get back to work, convinced that I'd done something stupid like overlooked an 'on' switch somewhere.
Next day I had a very nice note from the tech guy, who'd apparently did all the setup somewhere else, so he'd just put the laptop on my docking station when he finished.....not realizing it had the wrong power supply attached.
I was so relieved it wasn't me being a techno-tard I almost did the Dance of Happiness.
This is just so fundamentally wrong.
*sobs*
So, so wrong.
I haven't had a chance to play with this yet, but Wow! It sounds wonderful....and it's free to all us Oklahoma bar members.
Jim & the OBA rock.
Wish me luck, I officially start my new job today. I'm excited but a little nervous I'll horrifically screw something up. But that's just the over-achiever in me. I'm sure within a week or so, it'll be like I've been doing it forever.
A little nervous too because I'm not exactly sure whether I'll be doing HR paperwork & getting settled into my new office, or in court most of the day. Which makes it difficult to decide what to wear. That may not seem like a big deal, but you lawyers know why. You wear a formal suit to court, especially when you have a judge who's a stickler for court protocol as this one seems to be. That's not really a problem exactly since I am too*** (respect for the system & all that), but a formal suit isn't really the best choice for re-arranging office furniture & hanging pictures. Anyway, I think I'll wear my black suit w/red sweater, which Mike always calls my "Cherokee warrior suit".
Symbols of success & death to my enemies are appropriate for most any occasion, right?
***My colleagues in the Delaware Co. Court, which is much less formal, were always after me about my popping up like a Jack-in-the-box whenever a judge would address me. They said I made them look bad in front of the jury. But I couldn't help it....it's an automatic, reflexive response.
Here's hoping this one will be even better than the last!
We celebrated last night with popcorn & a Marx Bros. movie marathon. I know, we're such party animals. Why, I stayed up until 10 p.m.!
I know, I know. I'm such a wild woman these days.
